Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9

[4_2_it]

Nice post. Watch out for the dogleg on 12, it's a bear.

[Brad1970]

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Well to me his post has a certain 'I don't like my life' tone to it. If I had to read between the lines, I'd say he seems tired of the rat race but still thinks he's smarter than everybody else at work since he has this high powered career. In turn, his co workers probably think he's a condescending prick. I'd bet he also can't enjoy a vacation since he can't be far away from a laptop, cell phone, blackberry, etc due to work obligations...that's why he got some degree of enjoyment out of raking leaves & watching birds feed. Obviously, he's real close to his family!!! In the end he'll just go buy a Porsche so he'll feel better. But that's just my 2 cents.

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wtf is this crap? Someone posts a thoughtful, interesting post about life lessons and you go looking "between the lines" to find some perceived personality flaws?

Take that [censored] to OOT. I would hope that in the Lounge there would be more engaging with the substance of the post and less BS-psychonanalysis to ad hominem the poster.

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[psych101]
I don't mind the psychoanalysis, but it needs to be more firmly rooted. For some psychoanalysis of my own, I sense a very strong resentment on Brad's part of OP's doing reasonably well financially. And I still think the original dig was made mostly because it was easy and felt clever. But now it looks like there was some resentment of another person doing well financially behind it, too.
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I don't resent it one bit. More power to him. I was one of these workaholics once too but decided that that's not what life is about.

[Blarg]

I don't know, you seem to have an aggressive take on OP's post/personality which seems unwarranted. Personally I give credit to anybody who does a "confessional" type post that actually includes honest admissions that everything isn't perfect and they may have some flaws or rough spots in their life. An aggressive response seems especially uncalled for there. I'd rather read someone sticking their neck out a bit than the more usual glib or self-congratulatory stuff you tend to bump into on forums(and often in real life too).

[bogey1]

Odd how everyone is picking on the family thing.

FWIW, my family generally gets along great. We all truly look forward to family get togethers. They're usually a semi-party atmosphere, some play games, others drink beer and talk, lots of food to be had, etc.

[Blarg]

It's funny, people talking about family in less than glowing terms is I think extremely threatening to some people, so much so that it makes them angry. I regularly see contempt and quite often outright anger directed at people who say their relationships with their family aren't what they wished they were. It's strange that that of all things would make some people furious, and I think it shows how scary-fragile we really rare.

[daveT]

Good for the aggressive types if their families are good. Either they are in denial about their true emotions, or they have a great family. It is strange to think that these people don't even feel empathy, that they don't understand why someone wouldn't love their father after he raped him or her. Surely, if a stranger did this, this stranger would be a horrible person that should rot forever in prison, but a family must be forgiven. Just weird, this emotion, or whatever it is that drives this emotion, is beyond my comprehension. I know that this is more extreme, but it just shows how far it goes. I feel if I could understand this, I would understand the lighter feelings.

[bogey1]

I don't get the "family must be forgiven" crap either. I just genuinely have good family. There are a few people that we all pretty much avoid and they avoid us.

Family are people and I only associate with people I want to associate with. Fortunately, the bulk of my family consists of people I want to be around.

[NhlNut]

Happy B-Day KT. Glad to share it with a Lounger.

I'm 38 today. Genetically, I should probably live to 90+. In reality, I'll be lucky to make it to 60. Unhealthy lifestyle ftl.

I don't have any real wisdom to share. But, I will share on the idea of family as that seems to be getting a lot of attention in the thread.

I grew up in a particularly chilly house. Mom, Dad, and 2 older brothers. Parents stayed together for the sake of the children. My leaving was the end of the nuclear family. Divorce and relocation left us scattered around the country.
By the time I left for college, I wasn't particularly attached to anyone in my family.

A decade later I was dealing with psych issues (depression) and had the opportunity to revisit these relationships. My problems had been exposed for all to see. I was coming to them with an open book. Here I am, do you want to know the real me?
What I found was that my family were real with me in return. I got to know them as the people they are now. (Except one brother who has married and seems to have joined his in-laws family)
Being able to accept them for who they are has led to a real closeness (or being at peace with the lack of it). They are fundamentally good people, who have their own flaws, wishes, and desires. Just as I have mine. My willingness to be honest and accepting has led them to be so with me.

I find that acceptance is the key to my happiness.
To me, stress, anger, resentment, jealousy, etc. are the result of not accepting reality. Of other people and the world at large.
But acceptance doesn't mean that everything is OK, or that I am subject to the worlds whim. I just need to start at reality.

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Favorite saying: In the long run, we're all dead. JM Keynes

pss -
how long does it take other people to write long posts? this seemed to take forever. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[entertainme]

Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.

I share his sentiment. In fact I started a long post about the importance of family to me last night. Then, as is often the case, I hit the delete key. (I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.)

On the other hand, one of the reasons I feel pretty blessed when it comes to family is looking around and seeing how screwed up many families are, (which by extension means people in general can be pretty messed up.)

Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?

I can wish people would live up to their potential while fully realizing than many won't and some fail miserably.

Back to the OP. A very nice "stop and reflect" message.

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Last Thanksgiving, one of my sisters asked how my "little job" was going. Fine, I guess, if you consider managing a $2 billion product line little.

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This caught my eye, partly because I have a job that's difficult to describe, and partly because your work sounds interesting. I can completely understand if it's not something you can share about online, though, as my work is not something I feel I should post about on a message board, (not to be obtuse, it's basically sales.)

Also, 35 is just the start of your best years! It's nice to be old enough to not give a crap what others think.

[Blarg]

For me, very fast no matter how long it is if the thought is already well-digested and requires churning over nothing new. Otherwise, even two or three sentences can take forever to work out so they feel true.

Grats to you, and everyone, on their birthdays.

For me, I'm not close at all to some family and closer to others.