Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)

[Patton4]

Poincaraux,

I read your post this morning... I cried.
I talked about your post with my wife... I cried.
I just reread your post and I cried again.

Today (well wednesday the 18th) my son is two weeks old. After reading your post, I took my son in my arms, looked at him and cried for nearly an hour. Almost every emotion ran through me as I looked at his tiny body. Words cannot describe how much sorrow I feel for you, your wife, and your family. I cannot imagine what you have gone through and I wish you and your wife the strength to get through this time together. May peace be with you and may the future hold joy and love.

[john voight]

My parents had same situation when I was 2 or 3yo. I think I have memory of them crying next to me. (only memory of my dad crying) this could have been it, Im not sure.

I'v never thaught of how devestating it is untill I read your post.

I hope you get through this is best you can, and wish you and your wife luck.

[Runkmud]

I tried not to read this post as long as possible, no one likes to hear that kind of news, I wish you and your wife the best. Your telling was very touching and heartfelt.

[poincaraux]

I just wanted to say thank you all, again, for all of your support. It really does mean a lot.

I've received so many wonderful comments in this thread, and so many supportive PMs. One person even, just to show me that people far and wide are thinking about me, sent me BBQ from across the country. That gesture meant more to me than I can really understand.

This is all really, really hard. I didn't think anything could possibly be this hard. Sometimes, it helps to reread this thread, a thread Pokey started in SSNL and the PMs. All of the responses, even the ones where people just quote another post because they don't know what to say, mean a lot.

Thank you.

[Hopey]

My heart goes out to you both.

My wife recently discovered that she is pregnant with our first child. She is only 4 weeks pregnant, so we have not told anybody. Your post terrifies me in that I don't think I could be as strong as you are were the same thing to happen to my wife and I.

My sister had a miscarriage at ~5 months. The baby was born alive, but was not viable. She held the baby as it died. My parents were in the hospital room with her at the time as she was visiting them when she suddenly went into labour in the middle of the night. All of them had to seek counselling afterwards as a result. My father looked had a haunted look to him for weeks afterwards.

The death of a child is the most terrible thing that any of us may ever have to bear. Luckily, the vast majority of us are fortunate enough not to have to face such a horror.

[samjjones]

Hopey - having gone through two first trimester miscarriages in the last year, I'd encourage you to wait to tell people until after the first ultrasound confirms everything is going okay.

[Hopey]

[ QUOTE ]
Hopey - having gone through two first trimester miscarriages in the last year, I'd encourage you to wait to tell people until after the first ultrasound confirms everything is going okay.

[/ QUOTE ]

Definitely. There's no way that I'm telling anybody until Christmas. My boss told everyone in the office at 6 weeks, and the NEXT DAY his wife had a miscarriage. One of my best friends only waited a month, and his wife miscarried the following week.

They both told me that losing the baby was horrible enough, but having people (who hadn't heard about the miscarriage) constantly approaching them afterwards to ask about how the pregnancy was going was a needless bit of extra torture.

[n8str8]

My deepest sympathies on your loss... Stay strong.

[RichC.]

This was one of the hardest posts to read for me. I'm normally not much of a sympathetic guy and always have a hard time expressing my sorrow. My most sincere condolonces on your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am truly saddened by this. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[hobbes9324]

I'm very, very sorry.....

MM MD