BBV Anonymous Confessions

[adanthar]

This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the old lady sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

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When I was about 17, a buddy and I where driving home in my car. We came to an intersection that had a stop sign and a 1 way street that you could only turn left. The street was usually busy, with three lanes of traffic. This intersection was at the top of a hill so you had to watch carfully before making your left as cars could suddenly appear of the crest of the hill with out warning.
Anyways we pulled up to this interesection behind a gray haired lady driving a land yaught, to my suprise she was over at the right with her right hand turning light on. I looked at her eyes in her review mirror and saw she was looking back my way.
I decided I wanted to see her pull into on coming traffic for my entertainment, so thanks to some quick thinking, I pulled to the right behind her and put my right turn signal on too.
I then clicked it off as she started making her turn, heading the wrong way down the busy one way street.
Just as her nose was half way across the first lane a car came speeding over the hill, my buddy and I both had that reflex that makes you lift your knees towards your stomach when your about to see something horrifing. The car locked up its breaks and she lifted her hands in horror as it came to a screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door. More traffic came over the hill and stopped, horns where honking. I quietly made my left turn and laughed the entire way home.

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[adanthar]

This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the goat sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

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Forgive me BBV, for I have sinned.

On a camping holiday in Wales, a friend and I had spent the evening in a pub in a local village. After a lock in, and far too many beers we started to make the 3 mile walk back to the campsite during the early hours of the morning. Rather than take the familiar route along the roads back we became convinced we could save time by cutting across country. An hour or so later, totally lost and miles away from any sign of civilisation we came across a disused quarry.

It was pretty dark that night and we couldn't really see the bottom. I think it started from an argument about how deep the quarry was - which we tried to settle by dropping stones off the edge and judge how long it took to hear it hit the bottom (dumb, I know, but we were totalled) - but whatever it was, we found ourselves hugely amused by throwing rocks, and whatever else we could find, down there and listening to the echoes. This evolved into a competition of who could find the largest rock or boulder to push over the edge.

I was initially most unimpressed when I saw my friend dragging over a huge railway sleeper knowing that there was no way I would be able to out do him after this. Pretty soon though, that turned into pure drunken excitement about the crash it was gonna cause if we could get it to the edge. I gave him a hand and between us we drunkenly dragged it over to edge. With one final monumental effort we pushed the sleeper over the edge, leaving both of us on our knees, out of breath and staring down into the darkness.

It was then I became aware of the rope tied to the sleeper, that was now taut between us and being pulled rapidly into the quarry. I remember looking back just soon enough to see the poor goat that had been tied to it flying overhead and away into the darkness below.

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edit: after the snopes revelation, I stand by my assertion that this story would be funnier if the goat sprouted tentacles

[dlorc]

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This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the goat sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

[ QUOTE ]
Forgive me BBV, for I have sinned.

On a camping holiday in Wales, a friend and I had spent the evening in a pub in a local village. After a lock in, and far too many beers we started to make the 3 mile walk back to the campsite during the early hours of the morning. Rather than take the familiar route along the roads back we became convinced we could save time by cutting across country. An hour or so later, totally lost and miles away from any sign of civilisation we came across a disused quarry.

It was pretty dark that night and we couldn't really see the bottom. I think it started from an argument about how deep the quarry was - which we tried to settle by dropping stones off the edge and judge how long it took to hear it hit the bottom (dumb, I know, but we were totalled) - but whatever it was, we found ourselves hugely amused by throwing rocks, and whatever else we could find, down there and listening to the echoes. This evolved into a competition of who could find the largest rock or boulder to push over the edge.

I was initially most unimpressed when I saw my friend dragging over a huge railway sleeper knowing that there was no way I would be able to out do him after this. Pretty soon though, that turned into pure drunken excitement about the crash it was gonna cause if we could get it to the edge. I gave him a hand and between us we drunkenly dragged it over to edge. With one final monumental effort we pushed the sleeper over the edge, leaving both of us on our knees, out of breath and staring down into the darkness.

It was then I became aware of the rope tied to the sleeper, that was now taut between us and being pulled rapidly into the quarry. I remember looking back just soon enough to see the poor goat that had been tied to it flying overhead and away into the darkness below.

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www.snopes.com

gg

[goofyballer]

This thread is amazing. I hope the updates never stop.

[daca]

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Sometimes I wonder why they call them 'scholarships'

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Back in high school there was a guy who was an
incredible basketball player. He had an offer and was
going to be on scholarship at Georgia Tech, assuming
he graduated and had the required classes and stuff.
He was poor and very stupid. His grades were
always awful and he always did just enough to pass the
necessary classes to advance.

Anyway, my dad owned a
small deli that I would run by myself after school
from around 4-7 since all I did was make
salads/sandwiches/etc and do cash register. It was a
very chill place. So one day, I'm working and the restaurant was empty.
Then a guy with a black sweatsuit, pantyhose, and
skimask runs in, takes out a gun and says "clean out
the cash register, [insert my name]." Well I
immediately recognized it as mr. basketball from
school by his size and voice and decided to just play
along and not get shot and pretend to not know who he
was. I put all the bills (about $160 worth) into a
large salad bowl and handed it to him. He then SHOT
ONE OF OUR REFRIGERATORS ON ACCIDENT on his way out,
which ended up costing us much more than his pathetic
robbery.

Well the police were really never able to do anything
about it. This was around May of mine and his senior
year. Anyway, a couple weeks later before exams, I
made a plan to [censored] up his algebra final. I was the
teacher's assistant for 7th period algebra1. Mr
basketball had this class 1st period. Since I was the
assistant, the teacher and I had talked about most of
his students, including how mr. basketball needed this
class as his 3rd math credit to graduate and needed at
least a 65 on his final. so on the last day of exams,
the regular teacher was absent that day and the
librarian was subbing, which basically gave me free
reign. I was to get all the exams taken the last few
days and put them in a folder in the regular teacher's
mailbox in the main office.

Anyway, I fished out mr. basketball's test and screwed
up most of his answers (it was multiple choice, so
very easy) and returned it to the folder of completed
tests.

Long story short, he ended up getting like a 35 and
failing that semester. there were no math summer
school classes and mr. basketball had to stay in high
school another year, taking the minimum of 4 classes.
He lost his scholarship agreement with Georgia Tech
and ended up going to a junior college and dropping
out after getting injured. It's been 6 years since
that and he's still living with his grandmother and
now works at Hardee's (fast food place.) I hope he
gets held up at the drive-thru. He never had any clue
that I [censored] up his test or that I knew he had me at
gunpoint.

Cliff Notes: An extremely talented dumb ass basketball
player with a promising scholarship at Georgia Tech
held up my dad's store at gunpoint while I was
working, so I changed a lot of answers on his algrebra
final and made him fail this extremely important
test/class and lose his scholarship. as a result, he
continued to fail at life afterwards and is now ~24
and lives with his grandmother and is very poor and
works at Hardees.

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This sounds like a KKF story. Very good thread btw.

[HeroInBlack]

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Be safe and beware of stinky pussy and fat whores.



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This is the icing. Nice job, anonymous.

[cardsharkk04]

I dumped my 6th grade girlfriend when she got the chicken pox

[EddieRooo]

This thread is brilliant.
Nice one adanthar

[gumpzilla]

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I dumped my 6th grade girlfriend when she got the chicken pox

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Kudos. You were way ahead of the curve on picking up vital herpes avoidance skills.

[adanthar]

Short, but to the point

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I am 20 and I have never kissed a girl,smoked or drank alcohol/coffee.

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