BBV Anonymous Confessions

[sefaje]

rofl. most of the "i cheated on my g/f once" ones are really repetitive and the over-the-top "i am responsible for 1-3 people's deaths" usually aren't as fun to read as the really strange ones.

thread saved by someone beating an immobile old man on the head with a newspaper. roflllll

[sefaje]

[ QUOTE ]

Wait, what? He was supposed to trick the prostitute into trying to rob him and then "take it from there?" So the mentality is "Don't cheat on your SO, but if you do, make sure you rape the [censored] out of that whore?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes.

[Tyler Durden]

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
And now, back to the more usual 'Poker players interact with women' pattern

[ QUOTE ]
Went to Vegas on business, so no wife. Up $700 or so
at 1-2 the first night downing drinks the whole while.
About 4am I lose all my winnings in 5 stupid hands
and leave with what I came with. I am so hammered I
can't walk straight. I am bummed about not booking a
win so I cruise around the casino until I spot some
working girls. Pick one out and take her to my room,
we agree on a price and settle up, and the fun begins.
Once she gets her clothes off, much to my surprise,
she is smoking hot. Body is a 10. I get an awesome
hummer then stick it in and she moves so good.
Incredible sex. After, she asks if she can take a
shower. Sure thing, and drunk and happy I doze off.
The next morning I find out that after I fell asleep
she found my poker roll and made off with it. Fun
times, but not worth a grand. Not to mention having
to eat DelTaco the rest of the trip, and can't play
poker during a week in Vegas. Suxxors.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I might be a sick bastard b/c the second thing (first was don't cheat on your SO) I thought was that you should have stayed awake till you heard her get out of the shower, then you should have pretended to fall asleep and keep yourself between your roll (on a nightstand or something) and the door. Then when you saw her take your cash, jump out of nowhere and intercept her before she got to the door and you take it from there.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, what? He was supposed to trick the prostitute into trying to rob him and then "take it from there?" So the mentality is "Don't cheat on your SO, but if you do, make sure you rape the [censored] out of that whore?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say anything about raping her, your crazy imagination came up w/ that. I was talking about beating her to a bloody pulp and leaving her out in the hallway w/ the dinner dishes from room service.

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Wait, what? He was supposed to trick the prostitute into trying to rob him and then "take it from there?" So the mentality is "Don't cheat on your SO, but if you do, make sure you rape the [censored] out of that whore?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say anything about raping her, your crazy imagination came up w/ that. I was talking about beating her to a bloody pulp and leaving her out in the hallway w/ the dinner dishes from room service.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, we're cool then.

[adanthar]

Oh come on, this has to be anonymous?

[ QUOTE ]
I was a Junior in hs and had been dating a girl for 4 months. At this time she was supposedly a devoted Christian. No sexaments. Summer comes around and she decides to visit her grandparents in Canada for three weeks. After the second day back she breaks down and tells me she had sex with a guy. WTF. Oh noes. She lost her virginity to someone else and I'm her bf!
At this point I realize I have to get her back. Haha. I'll tell my friends and ask what their ideas are.
Friend: Wait. Did she ever end up giving it up to you?
Me: Um....
Friend: Wait she didnt even lose her viginity to you!
Me: Uhh...
Friend: Bwahahahaha.
Me: Oh God. Please kill me.
K thx.

[/ QUOTE ]

I see why this guy wants to be anonymous, though

[ QUOTE ]
I have a [censored] load,some or maybe even all of them suck ass, but oh well. You can choose to post
whichever ones, if any at all.

Lets see, where to start...

When I was a kid I used to sneak into my brothers room when he was at work and watch his pornos on
VHS and bang out some knuckle children on his bed.
I would make sure to memorize to a tee where the vid started and when I was done with my session I
would rewind back to the original spot.

I use to also sneak into his room, steal his weed and replace it with oregano, numerous times a
week. One time he bought a large quantity and it was like mother [censored] christmas! I even stole
some and would sell it to my friends.


Back around '96,'97 I had friend who I hung out with who had a pretty hot girlfriend, but for some
reason he loved banging fat chicks. We would go out to clubs and he would just hit on fat whores.
Now mind you I've been known to go harpooning once or a dozen times myself, but if I had a gf as
hot as his was,I wouldn't even think about any other skanks. Anyways he finds this one corpulent
cow that he wants to hook up with at the club. He gets her number and what not and asks me if I
want to go with him cuz she has a roommate (who by the way is an obese butterball as well). Both
those chicks are pigs, both literally and sexually. So we go there on a friday night, they had just
got back from the bar and were trashed. So we walk in and see the one porker my friend is going
to hook up with but the other one that i'm supposed to hook with is no where to be seen. So her fat
friend is sitting there giggling like the chunky little troll she is, when we hear a noise coming
from th
e bedroom. I'm like "wtf". She goes into the room and I here laughing and whispering and 10
minutes later I see some drunk ass dude stumbling out of the bedroom with the missing roommate
behind, pushing him along and trying to kick him out as if it wasn't planned for him to be there [censored]
her fat, greasy ass. So this [censored] beached Orca whale is now thinking i'm going to [censored] her
after she's [censored] some dude in the bedroom as I walk in their house! LMFAO! So she plants her
gigantic frame on the couch and basically falls asleep while my friend is getting a hand job by jabba
the [censored] on the other couch next to me. Thankfully they went to the bedroom to finish, while miss
piggy lie snoring on the couch and me watching late night infomercials.


The first time I had sex was a nightmare. I was 18, she was a 27 year old dead head hippie chick
who lived above my friend. Not the the hottest chick but she had big old titties and I was eager
to get laid. So we get all drunk one night and end up playing strip dice (we didn't have cards) So
eventually I end up in her room we are messing around and I really don't know how to proceed so I
think to myself "well in the pornos the guy always eats the chicks puss out before they bang so I
should do that"

Bad idea.

I start to go down south and near her hatchet wound when i see a giant afro and worse yet, this
stench starts to hit me. I mean it smells like the old 59 cent soft tacos from Taco Bell.
Basically it reeks of hot garbage. I'm like, "well i gotta do what i gotta do I guess" when she stops me
(thankfully) from chowing down on her gash. She flat out tells me, "You can't, I haven't showered
yet today". Okay so now i'm really freaked out,all i wanna do is end my virginity and blow my
load.

I try my best to ignore what just happened but I can't even cum i'm so freaked and grossed out.
Basically i don't end up blowing my load, and just like a mutual aggreement that we end for the
night. She's like, "oh i came what a beautiful thing" Those were her exact words but I think she was
full of [censored] cuz i was really grossed out by the whole sewer snatch thing. Anyways I wake up the
next morning and start walking home, I don't even notice anything till i get out side and see
blood on my fingers. I'm like "wtf how did I cut my self" It's all over my hands and they smell awful.
Then i look down and notice blood on my t-shirt, I'm like "god damn i must of really been drunk i
didn't even feel myself get cut last night"
I get home and start to clean my self up and change when I look down and see it- blood,
everywhere, all over my [censored] and balls, everywhere. I'm really bugging out thinking I cut my dick somehow
but then i realize that this dirty whore had her period all over me while i was [censored] and that's
why she didn't let me eat her [censored]. I swear my finger stunk like period scum for a week. I dont'
know why but i gotta a bunch of nasty pussy eating stories, another time I ate out some spanish
stripper whore (who was also a prostiute) while getting a lapdance at a strip joint.

Anyways, maybe these sucks balls but i'm bored today. I know of more [censored] but this is getting
entirely too long.

Be safe and beware of stinky pussy and fat whores.

[/ QUOTE ]

[StarkNaked]

I just threw up in my mouth and swallowed it.

[Brad1970]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh come on, this has to be anonymous?

[ QUOTE ]
I was a Junior in hs and had been dating a girl for 4 months. At this time she was supposedly a devoted Christian. No sexaments. Summer comes around and she decides to visit her grandparents in Canada for three weeks. After the second day back she breaks down and tells me she had sex with a guy. WTF. Oh noes. She lost her virginity to someone else and I'm her bf!
At this point I realize I have to get her back. Haha. I'll tell my friends and ask what their ideas are.
Friend: Wait. Did she ever end up giving it up to you?
Me: Um....
Friend: Wait she didnt even lose her viginity to you!
Me: Uhh...
Friend: Bwahahahaha.
Me: Oh God. Please kill me.
K thx.

[/ QUOTE ]

I see why this guy wants to be anonymous, though

[ QUOTE ]
I have a [censored] load,some or maybe even all of them suck ass, but oh well. You can choose to post
whichever ones, if any at all.

Lets see, where to start...

When I was a kid I used to sneak into my brothers room when he was at work and watch his pornos on
VHS and bang out some knuckle children on his bed.
I would make sure to memorize to a tee where the vid started and when I was done with my session I
would rewind back to the original spot.

I use to also sneak into his room, steal his weed and replace it with oregano, numerous times a
week. One time he bought a large quantity and it was like mother [censored] christmas! I even stole
some and would sell it to my friends.


Back around '96,'97 I had friend who I hung out with who had a pretty hot girlfriend, but for some
reason he loved banging fat chicks. We would go out to clubs and he would just hit on fat whores.
Now mind you I've been known to go harpooning once or a dozen times myself, but if I had a gf as
hot as his was,I wouldn't even think about any other skanks. Anyways he finds this one corpulent
cow that he wants to hook up with at the club. He gets her number and what not and asks me if I
want to go with him cuz she has a roommate (who by the way is an obese butterball as well). Both
those chicks are pigs, both literally and sexually. So we go there on a friday night, they had just
got back from the bar and were trashed. So we walk in and see the one porker my friend is going
to hook up with but the other one that i'm supposed to hook with is no where to be seen. So her fat
friend is sitting there giggling like the chunky little troll she is, when we hear a noise coming
from th
e bedroom. I'm like "wtf". She goes into the room and I here laughing and whispering and 10
minutes later I see some drunk ass dude stumbling out of the bedroom with the missing roommate
behind, pushing him along and trying to kick him out as if it wasn't planned for him to be there [censored]
her fat, greasy ass. So this [censored] beached Orca whale is now thinking i'm going to [censored] her
after she's [censored] some dude in the bedroom as I walk in their house! LMFAO! So she plants her
gigantic frame on the couch and basically falls asleep while my friend is getting a hand job by jabba
the [censored] on the other couch next to me. Thankfully they went to the bedroom to finish, while miss
piggy lie snoring on the couch and me watching late night infomercials.


The first time I had sex was a nightmare. I was 18, she was a 27 year old dead head hippie chick
who lived above my friend. Not the the hottest chick but she had big old titties and I was eager
to get laid. So we get all drunk one night and end up playing strip dice (we didn't have cards) So
eventually I end up in her room we are messing around and I really don't know how to proceed so I
think to myself "well in the pornos the guy always eats the chicks puss out before they bang so I
should do that"

Bad idea.

I start to go down south and near her hatchet wound when i see a giant afro and worse yet, this
stench starts to hit me. I mean it smells like the old 59 cent soft tacos from Taco Bell.
Basically it reeks of hot garbage. I'm like, "well i gotta do what i gotta do I guess" when she stops me
(thankfully) from chowing down on her gash. She flat out tells me, "You can't, I haven't showered
yet today". Okay so now i'm really freaked out,all i wanna do is end my virginity and blow my
load.

I try my best to ignore what just happened but I can't even cum i'm so freaked and grossed out.
Basically i don't end up blowing my load, and just like a mutual aggreement that we end for the
night. She's like, "oh i came what a beautiful thing" Those were her exact words but I think she was
full of [censored] cuz i was really grossed out by the whole sewer snatch thing. Anyways I wake up the
next morning and start walking home, I don't even notice anything till i get out side and see
blood on my fingers. I'm like "wtf how did I cut my self" It's all over my hands and they smell awful.
Then i look down and notice blood on my t-shirt, I'm like "god damn i must of really been drunk i
didn't even feel myself get cut last night"
I get home and start to clean my self up and change when I look down and see it- blood,
everywhere, all over my [censored] and balls, everywhere. I'm really bugging out thinking I cut my dick somehow
but then i realize that this dirty whore had her period all over me while i was [censored] and that's
why she didn't let me eat her [censored]. I swear my finger stunk like period scum for a week. I dont'
know why but i gotta a bunch of nasty pussy eating stories, another time I ate out some spanish
stripper whore (who was also a prostiute) while getting a lapdance at a strip joint.

Anyways, maybe these sucks balls but i'm bored today. I know of more [censored] but this is getting
entirely too long.

Be safe and beware of stinky pussy and fat whores.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[timw07]

I see why this guy wants to be anonymous, though

[ QUOTE ]
I have a [censored] load,some or maybe even all of them suck ass, but oh well. You can choose to post
whichever ones, if any at all.

Lets see, where to start...

When I was a kid I used to sneak into my brothers room when he was at work and watch his pornos on
VHS and bang out some knuckle children on his bed.
I would make sure to memorize to a tee where the vid started and when I was done with my session I
would rewind back to the original spot.

I use to also sneak into his room, steal his weed and replace it with oregano, numerous times a
week. One time he bought a large quantity and it was like mother [censored] christmas! I even stole
some and would sell it to my friends.


Back around '96,'97 I had friend who I hung out with who had a pretty hot girlfriend, but for some
reason he loved banging fat chicks. We would go out to clubs and he would just hit on fat whores.
Now mind you I've been known to go harpooning once or a dozen times myself, but if I had a gf as
hot as his was,I wouldn't even think about any other skanks. Anyways he finds this one corpulent
cow that he wants to hook up with at the club. He gets her number and what not and asks me if I
want to go with him cuz she has a roommate (who by the way is an obese butterball as well). Both
those chicks are pigs, both literally and sexually. So we go there on a friday night, they had just
got back from the bar and were trashed. So we walk in and see the one porker my friend is going
to hook up with but the other one that i'm supposed to hook with is no where to be seen. So her fat
friend is sitting there giggling like the chunky little troll she is, when we hear a noise coming
from th
e bedroom. I'm like "wtf". She goes into the room and I here laughing and whispering and 10
minutes later I see some drunk ass dude stumbling out of the bedroom with the missing roommate
behind, pushing him along and trying to kick him out as if it wasn't planned for him to be there [censored]
her fat, greasy ass. So this [censored] beached Orca whale is now thinking i'm going to [censored] her
after she's [censored] some dude in the bedroom as I walk in their house! LMFAO! So she plants her
gigantic frame on the couch and basically falls asleep while my friend is getting a hand job by jabba
the [censored] on the other couch next to me. Thankfully they went to the bedroom to finish, while miss
piggy lie snoring on the couch and me watching late night infomercials.


The first time I had sex was a nightmare. I was 18, she was a 27 year old dead head hippie chick
who lived above my friend. Not the the hottest chick but she had big old titties and I was eager
to get laid. So we get all drunk one night and end up playing strip dice (we didn't have cards) So
eventually I end up in her room we are messing around and I really don't know how to proceed so I
think to myself "well in the pornos the guy always eats the chicks puss out before they bang so I
should do that"

Bad idea.

I start to go down south and near her hatchet wound when i see a giant afro and worse yet, this
stench starts to hit me. I mean it smells like the old 59 cent soft tacos from Taco Bell.
Basically it reeks of hot garbage. I'm like, "well i gotta do what i gotta do I guess" when she stops me
(thankfully) from chowing down on her gash. She flat out tells me, "You can't, I haven't showered
yet today". Okay so now i'm really freaked out,all i wanna do is end my virginity and blow my
load.

I try my best to ignore what just happened but I can't even cum i'm so freaked and grossed out.
Basically i don't end up blowing my load, and just like a mutual aggreement that we end for the
night. She's like, "oh i came what a beautiful thing" Those were her exact words but I think she was
full of [censored] cuz i was really grossed out by the whole sewer snatch thing. Anyways I wake up the
next morning and start walking home, I don't even notice anything till i get out side and see
blood on my fingers. I'm like "wtf how did I cut my self" It's all over my hands and they smell awful.
Then i look down and notice blood on my t-shirt, I'm like "god damn i must of really been drunk i
didn't even feel myself get cut last night"
I get home and start to clean my self up and change when I look down and see it- blood,
everywhere, all over my [censored] and balls, everywhere. I'm really bugging out thinking I cut my dick somehow
but then i realize that this dirty whore had her period all over me while i was [censored] and that's
why she didn't let me eat her [censored]. I swear my finger stunk like period scum for a week. I dont'
know why but i gotta a bunch of nasty pussy eating stories, another time I ate out some spanish
stripper whore (who was also a prostiute) while getting a lapdance at a strip joint.

Anyways, maybe these sucks balls but i'm bored today. I know of more [censored] but this is getting
entirely too long.

Be safe and beware of stinky pussy and fat whores.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

best one yet???

[AbreuTime]

[ QUOTE ]
I just threw up in my mouth and swallowed it.

[/ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a better experience than the guy above you had.

[adanthar]

Isn't 8 year olds playing with 8 year olds fairly standard?

[ QUOTE ]

Not that great but it's the only story I've never told any of my friends. Basically whenever the question of when did you lose your virginity is brought up in conversation I lie, I say whatever I feel is appropriate but in actuallity I was 8, yeah that's right.
It was with a family friend, the kind who's parents you call aunt and uncle but aren't actually related. Basically she intiated the whole thing, apparently her parents decided to have the birds and the bees talk with her at 8, ok whatever, but they gave pretty graphic detail.
She was over at a bbq one day explained how it worked and we went to it, obviously I didn't cum cause I hadn't hit puberty and it wasn't fun I don't think 8 year olds can get wet.
Eventually (about a week later) the guilt consumes me and I wake up and confess everything to my mom, she's in shock asks me to explain what sex is multiple times because she can't comprehend that her 8 year old could do this. So she tells my Dad, and the girls parents, whatever, down the road when we were 12 I was at her house one time and she changed infront of me, at this time I was a lot hornier and she said "I can tell by how your looking at me what you want to do, too bad you told on me or I would" The most bizzare part she claimed to me to have banged her 1st cousin a week before we did.
As if this wasn't enough when I was in highschool my mom got me multiple babysitting gigs through co-workers, the first time I go to babysit solely girls she has a talk with me. I'm not going to get into it, use your imagination, but it may have been the most embarrassing convo of my life. Just cause I was interested in 8 year old girls when I was 8 doesn't mean that I still was at 15

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