BBV Anonymous Confessions

[nichtsnutz]

[ QUOTE ]
Afraid of getting aids by putting it in her pink(...) I put it in her stink.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Afraid of cutting myself by using a knife to cut the tomatoes, I shot myself in the head."

[adanthar]

You know how I know this one's real? It didn't involve a poker player

[ QUOTE ]
This happened to a friend of mine, but it's a hilarious story that seems in the right mood, and since the whole thing is an anonymous exercise, who cares?

So J is in high school, where he is currently dating K, and has been for a couple of months. He's out on a date with her, having an early dinner, enjoying himself, and then is driving her back to her house. When he arrives back at her house, her mother is waiting for them and looks unhappy. Apparently, earlier in the day somebody had called to tell K that she had seen J having sex with another girl, S, at a party the previous night. Since K was out on the date, her little sister took the message. J sees the message when he gets to the house to drop his date off, because her mom is standing at the door holding a paper plate that says, written in sharpie, "K - J [censored] S last night." This is the entire message.

J is completely taken aback by this; of course he didn't do it. So, he says to pacify mom and date, "Okay, I'll tell you what. I have her number on my cell phone. I'll call her right now, and talk to her, and we'll straighten this all out." So, he calls up S, and his side of the conversation proceeds as follows: "Hey, S, how's it going? . . . Yes, it WAS some party last night. Actually, that's what I wanted to call you about. Apparently somebody told K that I had sex with you last night, and I thought you could tell them that we didn't . . . oh . . . wait, really? . . . man, I don't remember that at all. Um, okay, thanks." He then hangs up, stands around for a second or two, and then says "Well, I guess I'll be on my way." and just turns around and leaves.

[/ QUOTE ]

[delaware99]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I hope this one's fake, tbqh

[ QUOTE ]
Back in the final years of high school, I had been dating this one girl for over 2 years (and still am). One day, I was extremely horny and wanted to get it on. Girlfriend says she is on her period. I ask her to give me head. She refuses. I ask her what the hell she is good for and leave. I felt bad, but I was really really horny. Being very lazy, I decide NOT to masturbate, instead finding the sluttiest and dirtiest girl of the school. Afraid of getting aids by putting it in her pink, and herpes from head, I put it in her stink.

I come back to my place half an hour later and find girlfriend still there crying. She says she's sorry, still crying, and pulls down my pants and starts to give me head. I say nothing, even though I had yet to wash my penis. She is still my girlfriend, we don't have the refusal problem anymore, but I've been hesitant to kiss her from that day on.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Clearly fake.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ewwwwwwww.........fake or not.........Ewwwwwww

[/ QUOTE ]


got to love A to M.

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm an average nobody... get to live the rest of my life like a schnook

[ QUOTE ]
(MODs please disregard)
I was a huge druggie in HS. I started dealing to support my habbit. Mostly weed and coke, nothing big. My connect introduced me to X and it was crazy from there. It was 2000 and that [censored] hit hard. I was buying MASSIVE amounts for 12$ a pill and selling them for 35$.I was making a lot of money. My main dealer would eat 8 at a time while having ROLL PARTIES and I would take full advantage by stealing QP's of weed, a bunch of pills, 8balls of coke. He wouldnt even notice.

Anyways about this time I got a good Acid connect. I would get Vials of acid for 150 with about 500 hits in it. (im just estimating.) I would sell hits for 5$ Two things happened.

This hot chick I liked but only thought of me as a friend wanted to candyflip. She had done E but never acid. She gave me 5 dollars and being"Funny" and a dick" I unleashed a stream of probably 10 hits on her tounge.Thinking haha mean 1st trip. Anyways apparently about 6 hours later (Ilearned this from a friend) she went to a house she thought was her's.(it wasnt) She found keys on the counter and got in a low speed chase and killed herself in an accident that actually wasnt her fault.

I found out about this and really didnt care. I felt like I should but didnt. My main weed connect came by the next day. We did buisness then decided 2 trip. We both took like 3 hits, We went to a mall where a Hecht's was doing its grand opening. We walked in and there was a wall of towels, all different colors,like 30 feet high. We sat on a bench for like 45 minutes frying are ass off just laughing at everyone.

Anyways we leave. He's driving a balla ass acura with navigation(this was when Navi was unheard of). I go home. This other chick pages me. I tell her Im 2 [censored] up 2 chill. She comes to my house anyways. Im kinda pissed but she buys an 8ball and a 1/4. Cool.

Chick gets found OD'd the next day. No way I was soley responsible cause I have watched her do way more than a gram by herself,and im sure she didnt do it all.

About 2 months later my main connect (trippin at the mall) was found shot outside of his condo.I lived in a VERY nice part of town where things like this dont happen. I decided to move, and went and stayed with my parents. I really miss my hometown. However Im pretty sure I will get killed (For various reasons not disclosed i this post) if I do move back. I dont feel bad at all about people I have hurt because the same could of happened to me. But I used to make a lot more money. Im now breakeven at poker. Im thinking of going back and slingin cane. Anyways BBV really helps my boredom levels.

Also now I have a really good job. I make 1800 a week doing nothing.I used to make more in a day but now i have nothing 2 worry about going 2 jail.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
people who purposely make people's trips miserable deserve a special place in hell

people who ruin other people's lives and have no remorse or compassion for them deserve an even specialer place

[Dry Riser]

[ QUOTE ]
You know how I know this one's real? It didn't involve a poker player

[ QUOTE ]
This happened to a friend of mine, but it's a hilarious story that seems in the right mood, and since the whole thing is an anonymous exercise, who cares?

So J is in high school, where he is currently dating K, and has been for a couple of months. He's out on a date with her, having an early dinner, enjoying himself, and then is driving her back to her house. When he arrives back at her house, her mother is waiting for them and looks unhappy. Apparently, earlier in the day somebody had called to tell K that she had seen J having sex with another girl, S, at a party the previous night. Since K was out on the date, her little sister took the message. J sees the message when he gets to the house to drop his date off, because her mom is standing at the door holding a paper plate that says, written in sharpie, "K - J [censored] S last night." This is the entire message.

J is completely taken aback by this; of course he didn't do it. So, he says to pacify mom and date, "Okay, I'll tell you what. I have her number on my cell phone. I'll call her right now, and talk to her, and we'll straighten this all out." So, he calls up S, and his side of the conversation proceeds as follows: "Hey, S, how's it going? . . . Yes, it WAS some party last night. Actually, that's what I wanted to call you about. Apparently somebody told K that I had sex with you last night, and I thought you could tell them that we didn't . . . oh . . . wait, really? . . . man, I don't remember that at all. Um, okay, thanks." He then hangs up, stands around for a second or two, and then says "Well, I guess I'll be on my way." and just turns around and leaves.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

[Tyler Durden]

[ QUOTE ]
And now, back to the more usual 'Poker players interact with women' pattern

[ QUOTE ]
Went to Vegas on business, so no wife. Up $700 or so
at 1-2 the first night downing drinks the whole while.
About 4am I lose all my winnings in 5 stupid hands
and leave with what I came with. I am so hammered I
can't walk straight. I am bummed about not booking a
win so I cruise around the casino until I spot some
working girls. Pick one out and take her to my room,
we agree on a price and settle up, and the fun begins.
Once she gets her clothes off, much to my surprise,
she is smoking hot. Body is a 10. I get an awesome
hummer then stick it in and she moves so good.
Incredible sex. After, she asks if she can take a
shower. Sure thing, and drunk and happy I doze off.
The next morning I find out that after I fell asleep
she found my poker roll and made off with it. Fun
times, but not worth a grand. Not to mention having
to eat DelTaco the rest of the trip, and can't play
poker during a week in Vegas. Suxxors.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I might be a sick bastard b/c the second thing (first was don't cheat on your SO) I thought was that you should have stayed awake till you heard her get out of the shower, then you should have pretended to fall asleep and keep yourself between your roll (on a nightstand or something) and the door. Then when you saw her take your cash, jump out of nowhere and intercept her before she got to the door and you take it from there.

[furyshade]

this legitimiately should be stickied and continuously updated, i havent been disappointed yet when i open this thread

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And now, back to the more usual 'Poker players interact with women' pattern

[ QUOTE ]
Went to Vegas on business, so no wife. Up $700 or so
at 1-2 the first night downing drinks the whole while.
About 4am I lose all my winnings in 5 stupid hands
and leave with what I came with. I am so hammered I
can't walk straight. I am bummed about not booking a
win so I cruise around the casino until I spot some
working girls. Pick one out and take her to my room,
we agree on a price and settle up, and the fun begins.
Once she gets her clothes off, much to my surprise,
she is smoking hot. Body is a 10. I get an awesome
hummer then stick it in and she moves so good.
Incredible sex. After, she asks if she can take a
shower. Sure thing, and drunk and happy I doze off.
The next morning I find out that after I fell asleep
she found my poker roll and made off with it. Fun
times, but not worth a grand. Not to mention having
to eat DelTaco the rest of the trip, and can't play
poker during a week in Vegas. Suxxors.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I might be a sick bastard b/c the second thing (first was don't cheat on your SO) I thought was that you should have stayed awake till you heard her get out of the shower, then you should have pretended to fall asleep and keep yourself between your roll (on a nightstand or something) and the door. Then when you saw her take your cash, jump out of nowhere and intercept her before she got to the door and you take it from there.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, what? He was supposed to trick the prostitute into trying to rob him and then "take it from there?" So the mentality is "Don't cheat on your SO, but if you do, make sure you rape the [censored] out of that whore?"

[J_T_P]

this thread is awesome, keep the confessions coming

[Big Poppa Smurf]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And now, back to the more usual 'Poker players interact with women' pattern

[ QUOTE ]
Went to Vegas on business, so no wife. Up $700 or so
at 1-2 the first night downing drinks the whole while.
About 4am I lose all my winnings in 5 stupid hands
and leave with what I came with. I am so hammered I
can't walk straight. I am bummed about not booking a
win so I cruise around the casino until I spot some
working girls. Pick one out and take her to my room,
we agree on a price and settle up, and the fun begins.
Once she gets her clothes off, much to my surprise,
she is smoking hot. Body is a 10. I get an awesome
hummer then stick it in and she moves so good.
Incredible sex. After, she asks if she can take a
shower. Sure thing, and drunk and happy I doze off.
The next morning I find out that after I fell asleep
she found my poker roll and made off with it. Fun
times, but not worth a grand. Not to mention having
to eat DelTaco the rest of the trip, and can't play
poker during a week in Vegas. Suxxors.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I might be a sick bastard b/c the second thing (first was don't cheat on your SO) I thought was that you should have stayed awake till you heard her get out of the shower, then you should have pretended to fall asleep and keep yourself between your roll (on a nightstand or something) and the door. Then when you saw her take your cash, jump out of nowhere and intercept her before she got to the door and you take it from there.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, what? He was supposed to trick the prostitute into trying to rob him and then "take it from there?" So the mentality is "Don't cheat on your SO, but if you do, make sure you rape the [censored] out of that whore?"

[/ QUOTE ]

i guess you've never played gta