B, B, or V: My brother, now an aspiring author, was on crack

[shortline99]

You may remember this thread in which brother attempts to write the next great American novel. At this time, he is 13 and going strong on that project.

What follows is a project, recently discovered, that he wrote when he was 11 years old. I can't understand a word of it, apart from some strangely poignant lines, so I just reprint it in its entirety here. It is a short screenplay for An American Tale 5. Yes, it may be worth the FULL READ.

Have fun.






<u>The Night Monster Returns</u>

Plot: When Fievel Mousekewitz’s sister Tanya discovers a fallen boy named James, she has no idea what he does. But then, when Cat R. Waul sends the Night Monster back. Tanya finds out that James is a true friend. He and his team work as a team. The Night Monster challenges James, Fievel, Patrick and Tracy to a game of Shadow Outcast. James has to win, and then Tanya finds his greatest treasure that made him a true friend.



James: Cool pictures.
Joel: Yeah!
Abby: Gookalaukus.
Mom: Go to bed Abby and Joel. James! Go now!
James: I want to find a true friend who is mom’s antonym (Climbs out window and runs away).


James: This is James Fields of the San Diegan Air Force flying to 32, Hester Street in New York City.
General: OK
James: Iraquis at 3:00
Tracy: Us 2 are tryin’ to dodge em`.
James: I’m goin` down!
Patrick: No!
James: I got shot toward a huge crowd admiring some singer.
Patrick: Kurt is gonna hate you, so will Travis.
Reporter: Tanya looks at a plane that an Iraqi soldier shot.
Tony: A ten year old boy is in the center of his wreckage.
Tracy,Patrick: James, James, are you all right?
James: Where am I?
Patrick: At where you were going.
Tracy: It’s dark and there’s this monster grabbing these mice and putting them in a basket.
James: The singer’s going with it.
Tracy: Should we fight?
Patrick: According to my calculations, the singer has a beautiful voice and has a pretty style.
James: Let’s go.
Tracy: Travis has our weapons and is here so me, Patrick and Travis will fight on ground and you take your plane. We repaired it and reloaded torpedoes that can’t run out.
James: I’ll fire upon, while we each free the mice, which the singer is a mouseling and so are the rest.
Travis: Are you positive or negative?
James: Positive.
All: 2-4-6-8- BREAK!


Night Monster: Is this the Fields boy who noticed Tanya?
James: What are you talking about?
Travis: I have Sally Anne loaded. Don’t move or she’ll blow ya in bits.
Night Monster: Your stupid gun can’t kill me.
James: Fire one!
Tony: Hit.
Travis: Mississippi River!
Tony: Sally Anne hit.
Tracy: Let er` rip Pollyanna.
Tony: Pollyanna hit.
Travis: Enough hit stuff or it’s Mississippi River.
Tony: You win.
Patrick: Ohio River!
Tony: Close to his weak spot.
James: Hit in the weak spot.
Travis: That torpedoed knocked him dead.
Reporter: The boy recovered and finished the Night Monster off with help from Travis Coynama and Sally Anne, Patrick Fitzgerald and Mary Anne and Tracy Banks and Pollyanna. The boy piloted an F-15.
Fievel: He got a bomber. Oh my god!
Tracy: Let’s send Night Monster back to it’s home.
Travis: Did we free everyone?
Tony: Let’s see.
Tiger: The Night Monster’s runnin` away with somethin`.
James: Who.
Tiger: I see ballroom dress.
James: Does that give us a clue?
Travis: I don’ t know.
Tony: Niether do I, but someone else that’s not James, Travis, Patrick, Tracy or Tiger knows.
Fievel: Me!
Tony: Right. You.
Fievel: My sister Tanya!


James: Fievel, I got the plane. I say we free her by blastin’ a crater through Night Monster.
Fievel: You can’t.
Travis: He can.
Fievel: No he can’t because he is a red cat that shoots red hot flames. He really exists. Our newspaper, The Hester Globe says he has given nightmares to the whole street. Even me!
James: He can’t beat the San Diegan Air Force. We have over 2,000 aircraft he can’t even beat one.
Fievel: Really, he can.
Mama: Everything that Fievel said is true, also the fact that Tanya has not been seen for 2 days.
Travis: You’re right, except that our aircraft can be transparent.
Fievel: I know you will lose.
Morgan: James, I have a gift from the emperor of Egypt.
James: What is it?
Morgan: I can’t tell you. Now close your eyes and put your hands together.
James: What’s this?
Morgan: The Seneri Puzzle. The eye with the lightning bolt in the center is your guide.


James: Stop right there Night Monster!
Night Monster: What the.. ..THE EYE OF SENERI!
James: You are too stupid to do anything.
Travis: Yeah. You are!
Night Monster: Really.
James: You must play a game with me.
Night Monster: What game?
James: The rules are simple. I have two gerbils. They have an egg taped to their backs. They slide on this ice rink, and the one that gets to the other side with the egg still there wins.
Night Monster: Cunning.
James: Your gerbil is Beef. My gerbil is Brady.
Travis: GAME START!
Brady and Beef: Whee!
Beef: UH-OH NONNYO!
Brady: YAY!
James: I win.
Night Monster: What happens then?
James: Fievel says you have to put down something out of the four things.
Fievel: You have a credit card, tuna, a singer and a can of dog food.
Night Monster: I don’t know what to put down.
James: Hangman reveals I, G, S, N and E. One letter is missing. If you get it right you get it. If not we reveal the answer and it comes back.
Night Monster: Another S.
James: An R.
Fievel: You must put down the singer.
James: Penalty game! The Illusion of Avgarvice!
Night Monster: Money Money! I won’t let anyone have it.
Fievel: (whispering to James) It’s really green slugs with money signs on them.
James: Good. You can free her now.
Fievel: How did you do that?
James: Can’t tell.
Tanya: Thanks Fievel.
Fievel: Not me. My new friend James.
Night Monster: James, I wish your SENERI EYE HAS A VIRUS!!!!
James: Just see you don’t forget the fake money.
Night Monster: James, you’re an IDIOT!
James: You are the real idiot.
Travis: We win. You lose.
Tanya: So you’re the one who got one of my CD’s in your engine.
James: Night Monster ain’t comin` back.
Mama: Why?
James: The Seneri Puzzle scanned him and blew a virus through it. Cat R. Waul can’t break it.


Fievel: When we went to Green River, I think I saw this cat.
James: Where is Green River?
Travis: California.
James: We flew in from there didn’t we?
Patrick: Yeah!
Fievel: You’re dead, James.
Mama: Fievel, don’t say sweares.
Fievel: I mean it. Over there.
James: Give Mom the ol` Piledriver.
Mom: We are takin` you back James.
Tanya: Shut up you big fat liar.
Joel: Who’s a liar?
Abby: Bakawaka.
Travis: Tanya means you Mrs. Fields.
James: You must play a game, if you got any guts.
Abby: Gifahifa.
James: The game is…GERBIL EGG RACE!
Brady and Beef: Yahoo!
Beef: UH-OH NONNYO’S.
Brady: Again YAY!
James: Penalty Game! The Illusion of Avgarvice!
Mom: Gold Gold! I won’t let Joel or Abby have it.
James: It’s really bees, wasps, yellow jackets and hornets.
Mom: I’m going home.
Fake gold: BZZZZZZZZZZZZ STING!
Mom: OW!
Tanya: Like James said, don’t forget the fake gold.
Mom: Poop.


Travis: Well well if someone else wants her… CHARLOTTE!
James: Play a game Charlotte, or are you too afraid?
Charlotte: Where’s this kid named Alex?
James: I know this trick. And I am not falling for it. For it is her you want.
Charlotte: Anyway gotcha! James is a loser!
James: Come back with her!
Inspector Toby: GRRRRRRR!
Charlotte: A TOBY, I HATE TOBYS!!!!
James: Give her back or else, I barbecue your head.
Charlotte: Do you know why I did this?
Travis: No.
Charlotte: For the voice!
James: You must play a game first.
Tracy: A duel.
Charlotte: Shadow Outcast is my game.
James: I accept your challenge.
Charlotte: If I win, she’s mine. If you win, she’s your’s and I’ll restore your grandfather.
James: Deal.
Charlotte: I play Night Monster in Spell Mode!
James: I play Sackic the Magic Dragon in Spell Mode as well.
Tracy: Sackic wins.
James: Abilterate her Night Monster!
Charlotte: NO! MY ULTIMATE KILLER!!!!!!
James: 6,000 life points of your 10,000 were destroyed.
Charlotte: GRR!
James: 10,000 to 4,000 Charlotte. I always knew you were called plain Charlotte and bonny Charlotte and always Charlotte the curst.
Charlotte: I play Seneyaki the Night Dragon in Spell Mode.
James: Mage Top! Abliterate her Dragon!
Charlotte: EEK! I pooped in my undies.
James: Now you are at 1 Life Point.
Charlotte: I play Marshwal the Sea Serpant in Spell Mode.
James: Sackic, get that idiotic thingy.
Charlotte: NO I LOST!!
Tracy: Ok Charlotte, who put James’ home in Russia on fire?
Charlotte: The Night Monster.
James: You stink.
Tanya: James, you won!!
James: I knew there was a screwball in that deck.
Tanya: You are a true friend.
James: The stupidest people posses the stupidest powers.
Fievel: We immigrated from Russia.
James: Charlotte, restore my grandfather.
Charlotte: He is back to normal.


Grandfather: James, my grandson, I have not seen you after I died in the fire. That’s my boy. What were you doing saving this lovely maiden?
James: I show you this.
Grandfather: Who gave that to you?
James: My spirit, Morgan.
Grandfather: She gives you lots of helpful items.
Tanya: Not only does my family call me a maiden, but I sing too. I now have a career.
Grandfather: Where’s Hillary?
James: Mom, shot by the F.B.I.



<u>Conclusion:</u> Tanya has become friends with James. Other three return to California. Gradfather moves to Ireland. James lives with Tanya since Abby got sent to Juvenile Hall. And Joel got sent to a monkey house. Dad got shot by his boss, Miekel Walsh. James holds up the American flag in front of everyone. Tanya hugs James. She is now a true friend that replaced Californian death.

This is a story that mice tell amongst each other. They tell of the great day that James left home to discover Tanya, a maiden, singer and true friend. What lies beneath James is Tanya’s heart passed to everyone. He is a boy. The god of Egypt.








If you enjoy these stories, please support my brother by donating to Children, Inc. which supports children. My brother is also a child. Or, send transfers to my stars account, and I guarantee your money will never not be held unaccountable.

[ImsaKidd]

First in what promises to be a monster. Comments after read.

EDIT: EEK! I pooped in my undies.

[Overfloater]

too long, probably doesnt contain nudity, not worth it

[shortline99]

[ QUOTE ]
too long, probably doesnt contain nudity, not worth it

[/ QUOTE ]
the first one did

[ImsaKidd]

[ QUOTE ]
too long, probably doesnt contain nudity, not worth it

[/ QUOTE ]

You can imagine women pooping themselves.

[Overfloater]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
too long, probably doesnt contain nudity, not worth it

[/ QUOTE ]

You can imagine women pooping themselves.

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any good scat links?

[jds1201]

this development has exciting implications

[traz]

[ QUOTE ]
too long, probably doesnt contain nudity, not worth it

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ppl like you don't deserve to live. This boy is amazing and needs his own talkshow

cheers

[Georgia Avenue]

Bragbragbrag

[isapistola]

too long, didnt read.

definitely a beat though.