Cultivating obsession or drive

[gumpzilla]

I'm really too lazy - under specific deadline pressures I can do pretty well, but left to my own devices I'm not so hot, as a rule. I think a decent chunk of it is the same story as a lot of other people here. High school was trivially easy, and didn't really necessitate the development of a work ethic. (Things like athletics that I was not terribly good at didn't help much either, because I was on a cross country team where coming up with innovative ways to skimp on practice was something of an art form.) College didn't, either. A couple years ago, I was back there for a reunion. A physics major I met told me that I was mentioned by name, four years after I'd graduated to people who would have no reason to know me, with regards to an incident of doing essentially half the semester's work the night before the end of the semester, a tale of heroic slackery. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

My roommate and I are similar in a lot of regards. We're both pretty lazy, when you get down to it. The chief difference between us - and why I think he's more likely to be conventionally successful as a scientist - is that he has a capacity to get really, really obsessed with what he's doing. He'll ignore a lot of [censored] that needs to get done, but devote huge amounts of time and energy to some aspect of what he's doing that has his interest at the moment. Over the years, this has resulted in him getting pretty good at his [censored]. It's definitely lent some credence to the old adage about the people who are the best at things are those who love it.

I don't really have that drive with any consistency, and I think it's one of the main things that holds me back. At this point, I think it's pretty realistic to assume I'm not going to find some career option that I'm going to fall crazily in love with and turn on the 70 hours a week switch. And I suspect a lot of people end up in the same kind of boat. So, I'm curious if anybody here has suggestions on cultivating a better work ethic, or this sense of obsession, in an effort to perform their best. Any former slackers out there with success stories of how they overcame their laziness?

[tdarko]

gumpzilla,

In the Cardo thread it was mentioned (maybe correctly) that he was lazy because of fear, Limon started this idea and El D rammed it home I believe. A few years back I used to be this way. I, like much of the people on this website it seems did well on aptitude tests and I am also athletic. Instead of using my abilities for good, I used them as a crutch and coasted through all phases of school. I never studied in HS but who needs to, it's a joke. In college I slacked off and got by and when I was questioned why I didn't do better b/c surely my ability was better than average I would always pawn it off on effort...this was so easy. With athletics I was naturally better than everyone in HS and in HS I lived in an area that had a ton of talent around me. I went to college for sports, not academics. I worked hard but I can honestly say that I didn't completely devote myself.

Then one day I realized that as the talent (in sports or business whatever the task is) increases, the difference between the competition gets smaller and smaller. Meaning that you have to start working for what you want to abtain b/c the difference a lot of the time comes down to effort and time invested, not talent b/c the talent difference can be so small. When I realized this in sports I dedicated myself. I went from pretty good to successful. Then it clicked, this is how everything should be done, not just what you enjoy because anyone can bust their ass at what they are passionate about but sometimes you have to bust your ass when you don't necessarily want to.

Some of my proudest achievements were the toughest to get to and were achieved from sacrificing the most.

[gumpzilla]

I've had the realization you speak of. The key thing is how to follow through on it. I've made some resolutions to start improving - among other things, posting less on here - but the real bitch about being lazy is getting over the hump to make the changes. With external pressure, I'm pretty sure I'm capable of such things. But for self motivation, I haven't found the thing to make it stick, yet.

[tdarko]

gump,

Initially I had a fear of failure and then when I realized that I would fail if I didn't do something about my effort, it was again fear that I would fail. Only this time I realized that failing with blame and excuses are for weak and pathetic people and failing with dignity and no regret are for strong people with character. Understanding this was motivation enough.

[kidcolin]

tdarko,

I'm in a similar boat, and I'm sure many on 2p2 are or have been. There's something I'd like to add in addition to this statement of yours:
"Then one day I realized that as the talent (in sports or business whatever the task is) increases, the difference between the competition gets smaller and smaller"

Similarly, as you use your talent/intelligence to advance in life, the talent/intelligence of those around you increases. I, like you, coasted through high school, and was still near the top of the class. In college, I was smarter than a good amount of the students, but there were some really bright kids, too. Still, while I did work harder, I only occasionally had to get nuts with work and still graduated with honors.

Now I work for a large, successful company.. and it took a while, but it finally dawned on me. I'm not nearly as smart as most of these guys. I might be funnier and have some more common sense, but when it comes down to the engineering, I can't coast anymore. I'm going to have to work hard to reach these guy's level. It was humbling.

gump,

Maybe this is outside of the scope of what you're going for, but I'm a big believer in "necessity breeds invention".

[limon]

[ QUOTE ]
gumpzilla,

In the Cardo thread it was mentioned (maybe correctly) that he was lazy because of fear, Limon started this idea and El D rammed it home I believe. A few years back I used to be this way. I, like much of the people on this website it seems did well on aptitude tests and I am also athletic. Instead of using my abilities for good, I used them as a crutch and coasted through all phases of school. I never studied in HS but who needs to, it's a joke. In college I slacked off and got by and when I was questioned why I didn't do better b/c surely my ability was better than average I would always pawn it off on effort...this was so easy. With athletics I was naturally better than everyone in HS and in HS I lived in an area that had a ton of talent around me. I went to college for sports, not academics. I worked hard but I can honestly say that I didn't completely devote myself.

Then one day I realized that as the talent (in sports or business whatever the task is) increases, the difference between the competition gets smaller and smaller. Meaning that you have to start working for what you want to abtain b/c the difference a lot of the time comes down to effort and time invested, not talent b/c the talent difference can be so small. When I realized this in sports I dedicated myself. I went from pretty good to successful. Then it clicked, this is how everything should be done, not just what you enjoy because anyone can bust their ass at what they are passionate about but sometimes you have to bust your ass when you don't necessarily want to.

Some of my proudest achievements were the toughest to get to and were achieved from sacrificing the most.

[/ QUOTE ]

that dude wasnt/isnt lazy because of fear. hes just an average dude who is a coward. he actually has plenty of obsession and drive. hes obsessed with blaming his problems on external influences and driven to complete his self fulfilling prophesy. deep in his heart of hearts he thinks he will never amount to much so hes created a cocoon where he can delude himself into thinking he doesnt want to be like one of those "dumb people" who live pointless happy lives. he outed himself when discussing poker and women. when im quoted i want to be understood.

insofar as cultivating obsession or drive. you have to become a friend of failure. when i fail, which is often, it strengthens my resolve. theres alot of people who never "take shots" or sit around and agonize about "taking shots". maybe because i left home at 16 and had to eat "taking shots" just became part of my existence. if you can live on bread and water in a quad w/ your friends and fuq fat chicks the rest of life is just a freeroll. look to your left and right, if to your left is a coward and to your right a moron you know you'll never starve...take a shot.

[tdarko]

limon,

"that dude wasnt/isnt lazy because of fear. hes just an average dude who is a coward. he actually has plenty of obsession and drive. hes obsessed with blaming his problems on external influences and driven to complete his self fulfilling prophesy. deep in his heart of hearts he thinks he will never amount to much so hes created a cocoon where he can delude himself into thinking he doesnt want to be like one of those "dumb people" who live pointless happy lives. he outed himself when discussing poker and women. when im quoted i want to be understood."

Well fear breeds cowardice. I think you are arguing with me (are you arguing with me?) when actually you somewhat agree with what I say. I thing this thread should actually leave him out of this. I have talked to Cardo plenty of times about his dealings and in the end I always come to the conclusion that the only people that can help him are himself, his mom and his sister. The rest of us act like we understand him but we really don't. Sure we can gather clues here and there and make an educated guess based on what has been posted and based on what has been posted or what he say with you on AIM etc. and what you say may be right but this internet part scratches the surface into what that guy is all about.


"insofar as cultivating obsession or drive. you have to become a friend of failure. when i fail, which is often, it strengthens my resolve. theres alot of people who never "take shots" or sit around and agonize about "taking shots". maybe because i left home at 16 and had to eat "taking shots" just became part of my existence. if you can live on bread and water in a quad w/ your friends and fuq fat chicks the rest of life is just a freeroll. look to your left and right, if to your left is a coward and to your right a moron you know you'll never starve...take a shot."

Failing is the best thing that has happened to me and I fail a lot too. I believe that the more willing you are to fail the better position you put yourself in to succeed.

[Ralph Wiggum]

Lazy people are really just cowards. Basically you go around never giving your all, b/c not giving your all is your defense mechanism. It's so easy to say to you could've done better if you tried. As opposed to trying & failing, or even worse that you find you can't even put in an honest effort no matter how hard you try.

It's pretty pathetic to have a leg up on many others (IQ, money, education, etc) & use your laziness as an excuse to underachieving. Unlike family background or natural intelligence, work ethic or dedication is likely the one factor that you have the most control over, and it's where you come up the most short.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

Sounds to me like he described you best somewhere in this quote.

[chezlaw]

[ QUOTE ]
At this point, I think it's pretty realistic to assume I'm not going to find some career option that I'm going to fall crazily in love with and turn on the 70 hours a week switch. And I suspect a lot of people end up in the same kind of boat.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why on earth would you want to be like sad buggers who work 70 hours a week?

Lazyness is good as long as you enjoy life as well. Embrace creative lazyness where you use your brain to work the minimum to have the best life.

chez

[chezlaw]

[ QUOTE ]
Lazy people are really just cowards. Basically you go around never giving your all, b/c not giving your all is your defense mechanism.

[/ QUOTE ]
what balderdash

[ QUOTE ]
It's so easy to say to you could've done better if you tried.

[/ QUOTE ]
Of course its easy, we wouldn't be arsed to say it if it wasn't easy.

chez