gossip: the way to a woman's heart?

[gumpzilla]

Recently I've been going to these happy hours on Tuesday nights with a few people. Most of them have been people I've known for a while, but there are a few females who have been coming that I don't know. One of them is pretty cute, in the naughty librarian sort of way; in a weird coincidence, she went to elementary school with my roommate's girlfriend. I was conversing the other night at dinner with my roommate and his GF on this subject. Here's a rough transcript of the conversation, with names initialed to protect the slandered:

Me: "Hey, that girl A. is pretty cute."
Roommate: "Yeah, but she's got butt problems."
Me: "What?"
Roommate: "Butt problems, dude."
Me: "What does that mean, exactly?"
Roommate: "Apparently her large intestine is too short and doesn't absorb enough of the water, so it's diarrhea time all the time."
Me: "What the hell? How the [censored] did you find this out?"
Roommate: "Oh, that girl R. that was trying to hook up with J. told her."

A couple weeks before, we'd watched as girl R. struggled heroically to land girl J. - we briefly considered giving up on catching the train home in order to watch what appeared to be an imminent makeout session on the couch at the bar. Apparently during this quest for the prize, she felt compelled to share the alimentary woes of our drinking mate. I remain befuddled as to what precisely this was supposed to accomplish. I welcome all thoughts on the matter.

Bonus question: are the aforementioned butt problems a dealbreaker? (This is purely an abstract question; I remain happily befriended, thank you.)

[snagglepuss]

call me shallow, but i dont think i could date a girl who had permanent diarrhea.

[Dids]

There's some joke in the "shallow/river of [censored]" vein that's called for her, but I can't get it right.

And yeah, that's a deal breaker.

I'm confused as to what relationship the title of this thread has to the lesbian makeout scat story.

[gumpzilla]

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I'm confused as to what relationship the title of this thread has to the lesbian makeout scat story.

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We decided that in a last-ditch effort to get in the pants, she was spending whatever capital of secret juicy (pun intended) information she could find. EDIT: Apparently in the belief that gossip is in fact the way to a woman's heart.

[Alobar]

Girls are catty bitches. Half the [censored] they talk about each other is made up anyway. Who knows what it was supposed to accomplish, we are attempting to apply logic to a species devoid of logic.

I dont think I could date a girl that had permanent mud butt, but thats cuz I live in a fantasy land where girls dont crap (unless its on a piece of glass Im holding over my chest).

[gumpzilla]

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I dont think I could date a girl that had permanent mud butt, but thats cuz I live in a fantasy land where girls dont crap

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This girl doesn't crap, she EXPLODES!

[hamsamich]

I don't think I could enter a relationship knowing that butt secks was a medical impossibility. I mean, your chances of getting that are so slim to begin with, why volunteer yourself to compete with that?
OK...all kidding aside, I would have to believe that even 'regular' bedroom activites are somehow complicated by this condition. I'd have to say, unless she's a total hose monster I keep away.

Imagine EVERY date where you are sitting alone in the restaurant while she........

[Alobar]

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I dont think I could date a girl that had permanent mud butt, but thats cuz I live in a fantasy land where girls dont crap

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This girl doesn't crap, she EXPLODES!

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was she by any chance in DC lastnight?

[gumpzilla]

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I dont think I could date a girl that had permanent mud butt, but thats cuz I live in a fantasy land where girls dont crap

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This girl doesn't crap, she EXPLODES!

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was she by any chance in DC lastnight?

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To up the ante: most likely, yes.