Couples with differing views on religion

ardubz · #1 10-25-2007, 08:18 PM

My girlfriend and I disagree on pretty much everything religion-related, and we're also both very stubborn. This obviously wouldn't be a big deal if it were just a casual dating thing, but we've been together for a few years and there's talk of making the ultimate sacrifice. FWIW, I'm in the "religion is retarded" camp (agnostic/atheist), and she's Greek Orthodox. While she doesn't practice, she still believes in God and wants her children to be churchgoers. This seems like it could be trouble down the road.

Blind faith makes absolutely zero sense to me. It's not a matter of "not being open" (as has been suggested), it's just not how I'm wired. I need to see things for myself.

I'm sure this is a fairly common situation, but I'd still like to hear any insight anyone has.

Case Closed · #2 10-25-2007, 08:26 PM

I have only been through this in a couple of long term relationships and it was not much of a problem. The occasional asking me to go to church with her was kinda awkward...but it was not that big of a deal. I can't imagine getting married to someone who insists on taking the kids to church every week. I assume it would put a big strain on the marriage if the kids ask me why I don't go to church with them and they find out that mommy basically thinks daddy is going to hell.

Ugh, that would suck.

kkcountry · #3 10-25-2007, 09:00 PM

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I have only been through this in a couple of long term relationships and it was not much of a problem. The occasional asking me to go to church with her was kinda awkward...but it was not that big of a deal. I can't imagine getting married to someone who insists on taking the kids to church every week. I assume it would put a big strain on the marriage if the kids ask me why I don't go to church with them and they find out that mommy basically thinks daddy is going to hell.

Ugh, that would suck.

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we i was younger, my dad didn't go to church with my mom, my brothers and myself, and it was never a big deal.

Jay Riall · #4 10-25-2007, 09:15 PM

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[ QUOTE ]
I have only been through this in a couple of long term relationships and it was not much of a problem. The occasional asking me to go to church with her was kinda awkward...but it was not that big of a deal. I can't imagine getting married to someone who insists on taking the kids to church every week. I assume it would put a big strain on the marriage if the kids ask me why I don't go to church with them and they find out that mommy basically thinks daddy is going to hell.

Ugh, that would suck.

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we i was younger, my dad didn't go to church with my mom, my brothers and myself, and it was never a big deal.

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I think too many aethiest parents in these relationships have this irrational (for the most part) fear that their kids are going to be brainwashed or something.

CalledDownLight · #5 10-25-2007, 09:25 PM

I don't know what kind of church your wife goes to if they are preaching that you're going to hell for not going. FWIW, thats not standard in Christianity at all (in my experience). I really can't see how having kids go to church with her would be detrimental to them or your relationship with your wife or kids. Seems like you're a little ignorant tbh.

Jeff W · #6 10-26-2007, 06:23 PM

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I think too many aethiest parents in these relationships have this rational (for the most part) fear that their kids are going to be brainwashed or something.

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ncboiler · #7 10-25-2007, 08:26 PM

Ya. You all need to get married. Should work out well.

DonkeyKongSr · #8 10-25-2007, 08:26 PM

This is exactly why I broke up with my longest term girlfriend to date and now only exclusively date non-religious girls.

The LT GF was very Christian, even being a youth counselor at her church. I'm agnostic. Eventually we realized that no matter how well we got along, religion would screw us over. Either she'd have all this religious stuff to do that I was no part of or we'd disagree a ton on raising our kids.

My current GF has been with me about 3 months. I love how we get along really well AND we don't have any issues related to regilion. It's a total nonfactor in both our lives.

PRE · #9 10-25-2007, 08:27 PM

Why would you care if your future wife wants your children to go to church? Religious beliefs aside, how could having your children be church-goers for the early part of their lives and then allowing them to make a choice when they're capable of doing so have any detrimental effects on them? Maybe this is me projecting my experiences on the general population, but I do not know of one person raised in a strong family who was told to go to church growing up ended up being a bad person because of it.

DonkeyKongSr · #10 10-25-2007, 08:29 PM

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Why would you care if your future wife wants your children to go to church? Religious beliefs aside, how could having your children be church-goers for the early part of their lives and then allowing them to make a choice when they're capable of doing so have any detrimental effects on them? Maybe this is me projecting my experiences on the general population, but I do not know of one person raised in a strong family who was told to go to church growing up ended up being a bad person because of it.

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This issue is essentially this: "Mommy goes to church with us, why doesn't daddy?"