Toss Goes to Vegas YET AGAIN!!!

[ThaHero]

I swear Toss if you are going there with nits again I'm not gonna read!

O.K. I will still.

Fastest time for me to Vegas from L.A.- 3 hours 15 minutes WEEEEEE

I'm surprised I didn't get pulled over or die though.

[toss]

Ahhh the IP Pokerroom how I hate you so. Your game selection is laughable, your $1 Jackpot drop/hand is insulting, but you are next to a bar. I don't feel like walking or taking a cab so I have to play here tonight. Besides, I'd like to make my $1000+ back. (Yeah right) I buy-in into one of the 1/2NL games running and play solid. I'm card dead again and fold orbit after orbit hoping that one of the donkeys won't notice I'm running at 5/0/0. The table is great, but I only get dealt rags. While I'm playing, one of the craps table erupts in a cacophony of drunken celebration. It's always funny to see very different people who don't know each other throw out high-fives and hugs. It takes all my will power not to migrate my chips over to the craps table. The game breaks down to 4 handed and I ask for a rake-break; $2 drop with $1 to the jackpot. Horrible. Why stay in this game? I have position on a huge donkey who can barely stack his chips or hold his drink straight. He's making ridiculous bluffs left and right (showing them of course) making the other two people at the table furious. I can't get a hand at all and I'm not about to float Mr.Unbluffable with 85o; afterall, I'm sober at this point. We do everything we can to keep the table running, but Megar-Fish eventually quits (he's dealing at the WSOP) and I make a beeline for the hotel room. I end the session up a massive $5 and go to sleep at 8:00 in the morning.

Sixty minutes of fragmented tortured sleep with only a thin blanket and no pillow. I love you Imperial Palace. I feel slightly awful from last night's bender so I take a shower and head downstairs for some regenerative gambling. The strip barely has any people about due to the time of day (9:30AM) and the unbearable heat (115 degrees so far). I wander aimlessly until I spot a craps table at O'sheas occupied by some oldtimers. I bet the passline and take full odds on a degen shooter (always bet the degen shooter) and he hits his point like 4 times in a row. Before I know it I'm $150 betting $5 on the passline; suddenly I'm feeling a lot better. There's something about throwing craps with the marble Roman statues radiantly lit by the hot July sun acting as your backdrop.

I wander back out and into the Flamingo; surely they'll have a 1/2NL game running. They do, but the waiting list is too long. Guess I'll walk to Caesar's Palace. This place is huge and they don't have the game I want running. Time to go to TI (formerly known as Treasure Island) and gee is the walk longer than it looks. Sun is getting intensely hot too. Crap, they don't have the game I want too. Let's try the Wynn. Spectacular casino as always. Not a place I'd like to gamble , but I love walking around absorbing the luxurious atmosphere like some kind of degen parasite. The clientèle they attract are so reserved; they don't look too fun to gamble with. For example: "Hello, my name is Scott and I'll be taking your money today." "Shutup and deal the cards." A dramatization, but you get the picture.

Naturally, I find myself inside the poker room and buy into their 1/3NL game for $200. I shortbuy because my bankroll is also short. Most of the table has $300+ and the normal preflop raise seems to be 6-7BB lol. Only one way to play with my stack: tight tight tight. I get seated quick and efficiently; moments later the chiprunner brings my chips and pulls the rack from the chips like a magician pulling the tablecloth from a table set with dishes and glassware. I love this place. I order a amazingly refreshing Arnold Palmer and sit back and play the waiting game. The lights are dim, it's cool but not too cool, everyone seems to shower, and the dealers are very professional. Damn the softplaying/slight collusion, I love this place. I fold for an hour until I pick AJo in late. I raise and check/fold a connected flop 6-way. One of the many hot Wynn waitress walks seductively into the room and takes orders. I don't feel like a drink, but she's so hot I order something anyway just so I can tip her. Whoever designed the waitress outfit is a freakin' genius. Everytime she walks by, the whole table leans over in hopes of catching a glimpse of sweet ass. Here's a picture because my words are simply inadequate to describe the hotness.



Geebus, even the picture isn't enough to capture the hotness. Just go look for yourselves if you already haven't. Oh right, I'm at the poker table. Uhh I limp with J[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]9[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] versus a bunch of limpers and the flop is 3[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]4[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]6[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. Some guy bets close to pot (means a hand like A6 or maybe 55 or 77) and I just opt to call. HU to the turn which is a Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. The guy checks to me and I do my "I'm strong buy I'm trying to look weak" act. I bet 3/4 pot and he calls after 6-7 seconds of deliberation. River comes Q[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] and the guy looks visibly upset, doesn't look like an act either. I make an overly obvious fake sigh and go AI. The looks at me and mucks nodding his head ever so slightly. One last hand of interest. Game is getting tight. Pretty aggro guy limps and I raise him with KJo, he calls. HU to the flop which is T95 rainbow. Aggro guy fires $66 into a $26 pot. I really think he has something like an OESD or a weaker pair so I decide to call. Turn is an 8, aggro guy leads out for close to pot. What the hell is he betting with here? If he 67 or QJ, he made his straight. He's not folding T9 or 98 here and he looks crazy enough to call me with 87. He's getting good odds if I push so I fold. He showed QJs for the nut straight.

I quit down $11, gg Wynn waitress, and meet up with my bro, Tommy, and Linda. We walk around doing touristy stuff and express our surprise at the constant cleaning going on. I've never seen a trashcan get such vigorous polishing. I hate to go, but doing anything more at the Wynn would be expensive. For some reason we go to Paris to shoot craps. Man, this place isn't as great as it seemed to be when I was younger. The sky painted ceiling looks simply tacky and I hate how the base of the Eiffel tower comes through to the casino floor. Also, I lose $150 in craps in less than 2 minutes. Cold shooters here, not enough degen dice rollers. My bro goes to play poker and I sit down with Tommy to play blackjack.

"What's your target profit?", I ask Tommy. "Four drinks." Very good answer. My chips yoyo back and forth between me and the dealer and Tommy. Ever feel weird when you lose a hand and your friend wins a hand and the dealer just pushes your bet over to your friend's bet? It almost feels like your friend owes you some chips. I manage to get Linda to play (just to change the luck) and toss her some redbirds to bet with. We make a large comeback from a few reds to several greens and manage to bypass our 4 drink target profit. I also get one step closer to transforming Linda into a degenerate gamblor. I leave Paris up $100, 3 long islands, an Adios, and a beer. Time to eat.

Next Part: Mainstreet, Aloha, Blackjack.

[toss]

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Some British guy at the other end of the craps table takes a quick look at me and bets on the Don't Come.

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I know its completely irrational, but this would tilt me so hard.

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Yes! Someone understands me!

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I swear Toss if you are going there with nits again I'm not gonna read!


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No worries, these guys are playing more than me.

[mrjetguy]

I am always impressed with your ability to recall details from when you were in a drunken state. I need lessons.

[WayAbvPar]

More Wynn waitresses please. I need to decide which one I will stalk when I stay there in September =P

[crackhead]

[ QUOTE ]
More Wynn waitresses please. I need to decide which one I will stalk when I stay there in September =P

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Pretty much ALL of them are prime stalking targets!!

Toss, please hurry with part 3. Gotta hear your report from Main Street Station - gambling it up with us degen asian/hawaiian brethren!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[KurtSF]

Top notch, as always. Please to be posting more.

[magicratx]

these TR never fail to entertain, i feel as though i should be paying to read them

[Yo Adrians!]

A picture of Wynn cocktail waitress = nicehandsir!

[pig4bill]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
More Wynn waitresses please. I need to decide which one I will stalk when I stay there in September =P

[/ QUOTE ]

Pretty much ALL of them are prime stalking targets!!


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No lie. No slam intended on that chick in the pic, she's cute, but among the Wynnbabes, she's only average. ESPECIALLY if you are a fan of the mammaries.