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  #1  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:26 PM
J.A.Sucker J.A.Sucker is offline
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Default Random Starbucks rant

I'm not sure why this pissed me off so much this morning, but I went to the Starbucks near my work. I usually don't go to Starbucks, instead opting for the local places, but that's not the point of this rant.

So anyway, the sun is shining again so I wanted an iced coffee. Black. Medium. So I ordered a "medium iced coffee, black." This is going hog-wild for me, since I usually just get coffee, black.

I immediately get concerned when I'm the only one NOT ordering some 1200 calorie Big Mac in a cup with extra cream and movie popcorn simulated butter topping, but I'm a gambler, right? My simple request spawns a two-minute interrogation into my coffee habits from the barista (is a male barista called a baristo or a barist or just a loser)?

B: Medium, we don't have that. Do you mean Grande, sir?

Me: OK. Whatever. This size (point to medium cup).

B: Well, that's a grande.

Me: Fine.

B: Would you like room for cream?

Me: No.

B: Sweetened?

Me: (Puzzled) Huh?

B: Sweetened, with syrups, we have vanilla, raspberry...

Me: No. Just black.

B: What's your name so we can keep track of your order?

Me: The Sucker.

B: Thank you Mr Sucker.

He furiously starts writing down stuff in Sharpie all over the side of my cup. I don't know what it means, but obviously the other baristo guy making the caffeinated concoctions understands the ancient code of Starbucks hieroglyphics, because he reads out my coffee order in this 25 second stream of words: grande... iced... house blend... no room... no sweet... to go... Sucker... some other stuff that I cannot even begin to grasp.

I walked out of the Starbucks in a daze and tasted my drink, fully expecting a disaster. Black iced coffee, medium sized. Perfect. Maybe they should get the baristo guy on the Dead Sea Scrolls.
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  #2  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:35 PM
yasher yasher is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

Sucker,

Totally standard. Barista has to ask those questions, cuz corporate says so.

Memorize: Grande Iced Coffee, unsweetened, no room.

Quite simple, really.

edit: Barista is a douche for not accepting "medium" as a size. I slap my baristas when they do that. However, "regular" is not a size.

yasher
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  #3  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:35 PM
El Diablo El Diablo is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

Sucker,

Seems to me like you ordered a coffee, they asked you how you wanted it through simple, straightforward questions, and then they made it. Not sure what the rant is about.

He did try to upsell you w/ the sweetened, but whatever, if you're going to be annoyed by that, do what I do and don't go to Starbucks. That's just part of the deal there, you know that. And, are you really admitting that you were puzzled by the question "Sweetened?" ? I suggest you try to somehow backpedal away from that one.

It did start out w/ a pet peeve of mine, the whole "Grande/Venti/whatever" thing, but it didn't seem like that caused any real problem here.

As for getting the order right, I don't see why you would expect Starbucks to screw up a simple iced coffee. While they suck and I hate them on general principle, they are quite proficient at making all manner of coffee drinks.
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Old 05-01-2006, 02:38 PM
moleman668 moleman668 is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

"B: Medium, we don't have that. Do you mean Grande, sir?"

That is quite idiotic.
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  #5  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:38 PM
yasher yasher is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

El D,

The "sweetened?" isn't even an upsell. Classic syrup (sugar-flavored syrup) is a free option on iced coffees and iced teas. At my store, we apply some logic to this, and we allow customers to put any syrup they want into iced coffees and iced teas, free of charge.

yasher
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  #6  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:40 PM
moleman668 moleman668 is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

Yasher,

my local starbucks charges for any syrup other than plain sugar. is this standard?

moleman
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  #7  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:40 PM
Sponger. Sponger. is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

[ QUOTE ]
"B: Medium, we don't have that. Do you mean Grande, sir?"

That is quite idiotic.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, where I used to work they only had "medium" (12oz) and "large" (20oz) and so everyone is ordering small drinks you just give them the medium without taking the time to explain to them why your owner named the drinks that way.
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  #8  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:44 PM
El Diablo El Diablo is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

yash,

Thanks for the clarification.

See, I'm all for ranting against Starbucks. I pretty much think they suck and are evil.

However, in Sucker's story, it seems like they are being considerate, asking questions to help him out, and then making the coffee exactly as requested. Seems like it should be "Random Starbucks excellent service" instead of "Random Starbucks rant."

As I mentioned previously, the Grande/Venti thing is indeed idiotic, but Sucker has been to Starbucks (and many other establishments with similarly stupid food/drink size naming conventions) before and knows about that nonsense.
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  #9  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:45 PM
Jeffage Jeffage is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

Yea, that guy needs a grande kick to the balls.

Jeff
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  #10  
Old 05-01-2006, 02:45 PM
yasher yasher is offline
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Default Re: Random Starbucks rant

mole,

Iced coffee and iced tea come with the option for complimentary sweetening. Classic syrup is used to sweeten said beverages. As such, you shouldn't be charged for them in any iced coffee or iced tea.

In other beverages, you should be charged for syrups.

yasher
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