scared of being nice to kids -

[Lanzalot]

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I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

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Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

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No, not understandable. Innappropriate to the level of threat posed and reflective of a mindset that sees all men as predators until proven otherwise. That isn't the kind of country we're supposed to live in.


Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

[DonkBluffer]

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I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

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Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

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This COMPLETELY blows my mind. I have never heard of anything similar here in The Netherlands. Sounds very paranoid and irrational.

I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

[Sooga]

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I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

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Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

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This COMPLETELY blows my mind. I have never heard of anything similar here in The Netherlands. Sounds very paranoid and irrational.

I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

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Yea I've always wondered why if there is any nudity in a film it's automatically rated R (at least), but there are loads of PG-13 movies that show bodies being gunned down like it's running out of style. I think it's an American thing because AFAIK it's the opposite in most other countries.

[prohornblower]

There is a lot of validity to the OP. Hell, I feel somewhat weird hugging my nephew and niece in front of other people. From what you hear, there are so many "pedophile uncles" out there, that I can't help but think "Don't look like weird uncle...Don't look like weird uncle..." the whole time I'm playing with my nephew.

For a 28 year old I'm pretty athletic still so him and I will begin to wrestle around a lot, which probably doesn't help! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Often times he'll lead me up to his room and we'll pillowfight while he stands on his bed or whatever and again, a weird feeling ensues, but as long as he's laughing and having a good time, I'm not going to care what my sister-in-law or whoever may or may not be worrying about.

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

i agree with people saying that parents are way to paranoid about this stuff. that said, i cant really see myself letting my kids spend time around adult males without my supervision.

[rocketlaunch]

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i agree with people saying that parents are way to paranoid about this stuff. that said, i cant really see myself letting my kids spend time around adult males without my supervision.

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That pretty much sums up the attitudes a lot of people have.

I have an experience that I think pretty well illustrates the difference between how men and women are viewed in regards to children.

While in college I had a girlfriend who loved working with kids (in fact she's now director of a preschool). She wanted to do some volunteer work with a big brothers/big sisters program, and somehow convinced me to come do it, too.

She had her interview one day. She told me about it afterward--she came in and was taken to an office with a big open window to the outside where she and the program director (also a woman) basically had light chit-chat for like 20 mins then spent 5 mins going over the technicalities of the program. It was basically assumed from the getgo that she was hired.

The next day was my interview. They knew that my gf was vouching for me but regardless I was led into a small backroom with a one-way mirror along one wall and I was grilled for over an hour. No idle chit-chat, these were all pointed questions, where half the time it seemed the answer didn't matter so much as my general reaction to the question. I felt under a microscope.

I was eventually taken on as a volunteer, but when my gf and I shared stories afterwards she was amazed at the stark contrast in experiences. Me, not so much.

[Kimbell175113]

Wow, the concepts in this thread are foreign to me. I mean, I get the idea, but the degree seems way overdone.

I guess I'm still a kid myself, and I've always had younger siblings around, just seemed normal to do things with them; then again, I understand the attitude of the two posts above this one. I just wish it didn't have to be that way.

[rocketlaunch]

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I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

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The US has a strong religious background (specifically, Christian) and one of the basic tenants of Christianity seems to that one's body is evil, as is sex. This systematic suppression of people's sexuality of course came from pre-contraception times when people were also largely uneducated and so that was the method of social control available to the powers that be.

The present fear of the human body is a remnant of that. It is archaic and probably more destructive to people's sexual development than 24-hour open-access porn channels, but if you so much as make a peep about this fear of course you get shouted down as some sort of pervert and have to contend with the "won't somebody think of the children??!?!" crowd.

People like nothing more than to maintain whatever status quo they're accustomed to, after all.

[rocketlaunch]

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Sounds very paranoid and irrational.


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Pretty much sums up the general US attitude towards anything.

[Howard Treesong]

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I was walking my dog the other day and two neighborhood kids, about 6 years old and playing in their yard, come running up wanting to meet and pet the dog. I kneel down and talk to them, letting them play with him, asking them their names, etc...

And suddenly a blood curdling SCREAM goes up from the house and the kids' mother comes running out, terror on her face. She grabs the kids and runs back in before I can even say "hi."

Granted, I was wearing these:


but come on!

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What gives? Those are normal in my neck of the woods.