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  #11  
Old 12-01-2007, 06:46 PM
daveT daveT is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point.

I wonder if her "friend" is some dude?
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  #12  
Old 12-01-2007, 06:57 PM
J.A.K. J.A.K. is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

I'm lost. Is this just a friend you are upset with for not keeping in touch more? Or something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?
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  #13  
Old 12-01-2007, 07:00 PM
tarheeljks tarheeljks is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

[ QUOTE ]
Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point.

I wonder if her "friend" is some dude?

[/ QUOTE ]

i think being gentle is a good idea. i think the email is fine overall but that you get too defensive at the end.

[ QUOTE ]
. . . And yes, I am starting to feel that way as well.

This has all been on my mind for the past week. If you don't e-mail me back, I will take that as a cut line. I won't say that I don't care, but I have let closer people go.

[/ QUOTE ]

granted idk how long you've been trying to maintain contact w/little effort on her part. saying something like, but the signals here are very mixed.
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  #14  
Old 12-01-2007, 07:01 PM
Kimbell175113 Kimbell175113 is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

[ QUOTE ]
I'm lost. Is this just a friend you are upset with for not keeping in touch more? Or something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I want to help, but I don't really get what you're going for or what is happening. Cliff Notes of your relationship to this individual?
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  #15  
Old 12-01-2007, 07:44 PM
daveT daveT is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

Okay. I met this girl like four years ago. We have only had e-mail contact except for one face-to-face meeting since she is from a different country.

Now, she lives in America. It was weird because with going to jail, and other goings-on (I busted about three times), this year probably had more drama in it than it should have. So, to her, I may seem a little "down," which isn't too far off, really.

While on the phone, all she ever does is ask "how are you, how are you, how are you...." I admit that I don't really remember her personality, but this is not a person that I normally would want to talk to. I attempt to keep things low content and fun. I don't like to lay my problems on people, but if they keep asking how things are, they will get an honest answer.

She seems evasive on the phone, in e-mail land, and this bothers the living [censored] out of me. I am glad to hear that things are happening for her, but it takes a crow-bar to get any information out of her. For example, she is/was working on an independent film, and it took the second phone conversation, and me suggesting that she works on a film before she told me about it.

So, there is a change, and a drifting away, I think, but I am not sure.

I have called four times in the past three months. The last time I called her, I told her I only had 20 minutes on this phone card (I don't have a cell-phone plan right now), and that was all I could talk. Her answer: "That's not a bad thing." That gave me pause. I asked what that was supposed to mean, and she says she hates talking on the phone.

I sent her an e-mail, asking how was her Thanksgiving. No response.

So, I call today, and I not too pleased to call, really, but I keep things light. When she answers, she says "Oh, Dave," as if I just told her that her grandma died. I ask her what's up with that attitude, and she says she is sick. I offer to let her go to rest up, and she insists that we keep on talking. So, it is all good, right, then ten minutes into the conversation (one sided again), and she tells me she has to go because a friend is visiting.

Other Cliffs Notes:

1- She wants to live in Los Angeles, and I am the only person she knows out here. 1+1=2

2- She is probably like me, with a short [censored] limit. I am wondering if I have somehow slighted her?

3- It's been two years since we talked. I have a feeling she wants to talk about "something" but I can't put my finger on it.

4- She's a girl, and this would be standard: "something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?" (sorry, Katy)

5- She says she will talk to me again soon. I doubt this is the form, or the response she was thinking of.
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  #16  
Old 12-01-2007, 08:47 PM
Dominic Dominic is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, The Lounge, I am smiling because you guys are going to make me feel better. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Entitled: [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

To (some chick, okay?)

I know that you are sick, and maybe I am over-reacting, and yes, I admit that I can be a bit dramatic at times.

It feels like every time that I call you, you are performing a daunting chore. I always hear you laugh, but it is almost like you can't stand to say hi and you can't wait to get off of the phone. Do you realize how it feel so hear "Oh (damn), what's up, Dave?" I know that we have been e-mailing for four years or however long, but the people that we were when we talked all night on the patio are not the people we are now.

Today, talking to you was even weirder, like yeah, it is okay to talk, but don't hang up although you are sick, but then a friend is coming over. I am also disturbed that I don't get any response to my last e-mail. And lets be honest, this whole year, we have probably only sent each other five e-mails total.

I think that you are giving me a hint, but maybe I am too stupid to see it. I don't know. The reality is that we don't even know each other anymore, and I feel like you think it is too much work to bother. And yes, I am starting to feel that way as well.

This has all been on my mind for the past week. If you don't e-mail me back, I will take that as a cut line. I won't say that I don't care, but I have let closer people go.

Best Wishes.
Dave.

[/ QUOTE ]

got that out of your system? Great.

Don't send crap like this. It never works. Simply let her know you're interested in moving the relationship forward. And then don't keep calling her and emailing. Write or call once every two weeks or a month to keep in touch, but it really sounds like things are over between you two and you need to move on. If she's still interested she will let you know.

Trust me, letters like this never do anyone any good. I've sent my share. Plus, it sounds as if you're pouting. And that ain't hot.
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  #17  
Old 12-01-2007, 08:48 PM
Dominic Dominic is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

[ QUOTE ]
Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point.

I wonder if her "friend" is some dude?

[/ QUOTE ]

The friend is always some other dude.
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  #18  
Old 12-01-2007, 08:51 PM
Dominic Dominic is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Posts: 12,772
Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

[ QUOTE ]
Okay. I met this girl like four years ago. We have only had e-mail contact except for one face-to-face meeting since she is from a different country.

Now, she lives in America. It was weird because with going to jail, and other goings-on (I busted about three times), this year probably had more drama in it than it should have. So, to her, I may seem a little "down," which isn't too far off, really.

While on the phone, all she ever does is ask "how are you, how are you, how are you...." I admit that I don't really remember her personality, but this is not a person that I normally would want to talk to. I attempt to keep things low content and fun. I don't like to lay my problems on people, but if they keep asking how things are, they will get an honest answer.

She seems evasive on the phone, in e-mail land, and this bothers the living [censored] out of me. I am glad to hear that things are happening for her, but it takes a crow-bar to get any information out of her. For example, she is/was working on an independent film, and it took the second phone conversation, and me suggesting that she works on a film before she told me about it.

So, there is a change, and a drifting away, I think, but I am not sure.

I have called four times in the past three months. The last time I called her, I told her I only had 20 minutes on this phone card (I don't have a cell-phone plan right now), and that was all I could talk. Her answer: "That's not a bad thing." That gave me pause. I asked what that was supposed to mean, and she says she hates talking on the phone.

I sent her an e-mail, asking how was her Thanksgiving. No response.

So, I call today, and I not too pleased to call, really, but I keep things light. When she answers, she says "Oh, Dave," as if I just told her that her grandma died. I ask her what's up with that attitude, and she says she is sick. I offer to let her go to rest up, and she insists that we keep on talking. So, it is all good, right, then ten minutes into the conversation (one sided again), and she tells me she has to go because a friend is visiting.

Other Cliffs Notes:

1- She wants to live in Los Angeles, and I am the only person she knows out here. 1+1=2

2- She is probably like me, with a short [censored] limit. I am wondering if I have somehow slighted her?

3- It's been two years since we talked. I have a feeling she wants to talk about "something" but I can't put my finger on it.

4- She's a girl, and this would be standard: "something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?" (sorry, Katy)

5- She says she will talk to me again soon. I doubt this is the form, or the response she was thinking of.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, now I get it.

Dave, there is no relationship here. At all. Simply let her know that if and when she moves to L.A. you'd love to show her around. Then stop calling her. The ball's in her court.
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  #19  
Old 12-01-2007, 08:52 PM
daveT daveT is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

True that Dom, you just said the reality. It is all over. Wow.

Meh, I don't think that there was ever anything sexual going on there, but if I was wrong, so be it.
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  #20  
Old 12-01-2007, 08:54 PM
Runkmud Runkmud is offline
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Default Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread

To be frank, it sounds like she's trying to end the relationship. A better question is, why are you trying to continue it? It doesn't sound like you're much interested in her either.

Sometimes it's just best to let things go thier way. Who knows, in a few months she might call you with an attitude change. As it stands, I would just stop calling her.

Best of luck either way, but it certainly seems you could invest your time in better friends.
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