Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[Alamo]

So this reporter interviews Stevie Wonder, and asks:

"Mister Wonder, has it never really bothered you that you have been blind all your life?"



"Meh, I´d rather be blind than black"





Tuff thing is that knowing this board is being dominated by American posters, I actually thought 15 minutes about posting this joke. That is sad really.

[luckyjimm]

An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day.

Bored in his history lesson he gets up and walks out. Walking down the corridor he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and he pulls a knife out and stabs him. He runs out of the school.

As he gets outside he thinks again "I hate school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He runs off to his inflatable home.

Two hours later his inflatable mum is knocking at his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police.

Panicking, the inflatable boy pulls out the knife and stabs himself.

Later on in the evening he wakes up in the inflatable hospital and sees the headmaster is in the inflatable bed next to him.

Shaking his deflated head more in sorrow than in anger, the headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down, you've let the school down but, worst of all, you've let yourself down"

[otnemem]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ive been trying to get a standup routine written, and I know there is a joke in this somewhere, and that is a stupid one, but I cant figure out how to make it funny.

You just need to establish the opportunity to use the bit. Try this:

"So, open-mic night, you know. Pretty crazy in here. You guys having a good time? Yeah. It's good. Last time I was up here was, uh, 1992, but I think the act is finally coming together.

Let's see. Election coming up, huh? You guys following this whole Gennifer Flowers thing? I think those petals been plucked. Arkansas is "The Natural State", but I doubt her carpets match her drapes.

No, don't get me wrong, I think Bill Clinton's got a real shot. He's looking for a slogan to punch up his campaign, something better than "that guy from Arkansas." So: "No new taxes, and no fat chicks". Hey, you too lady.

Anyhow, you know what makes me go Hmmm? In Mexico, C&C music factor is like yes and yes music factory, cause their word for yes is pretty much our third letter of the alphabet. This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf you just wrote that for this post? that was awesome.

[/ QUOTE ]
?

People would laugh at this?

[amplify]

[longhair]

what do women and KFC have in common?


once you're done with the legs and breast you've got a greasy box to put your bone in.

[SpaceAce]

A man looking to escape the troubles of modern life decides to join a monastery and live as a monk. To join the Order, the man is required to take a vow of silence. Each year, the man will be brought into the presence of the head of the Order and allowed to speak two words.

The first year goes by with the man trying to adapt to his new life. At the end of the year, the man is brought to see the leader of the Order and the man says to the leader, "Food cold."

So, another year goes by. The man learns to grow his own crops, studies the Order's religious texts and continues to try and fit in with the other Brothers. At the end of the year, when the man is allowed once again to speak to the Order's leader, he says, "Bed hard."

Yet another year goes by with the man becoming increasingly disillusioned with his new lifestyle. The food is bad, the beds are hard, and he isn't getting the great enlightenment he had hoped for. So, at the end of his third year, the man stands before the Order's leader and says, "I quit."

The leader looks down at him and says, "Well, that doesn't surprise me. You haven't stopped bitching since you got here."

SpaceAce

[mrkilla]

A Priest, A Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar, The Bartnerder Says " What is this a Joke?"

[Shilly]

What did the zero say to the eight?






Nice belt.

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
what did the Spanish guy say to his term paper as it blew out the window?

<font color="white"> where you goin', essay? </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm ashamed at how hard I laughed at this one.

[DrewDevil]

A guy calls the hospital in a panic.

"Hello hello, I need some help. My wife's gone into labor. The contractions are three minutes apart. I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down, sir, everything's going to be fine. Is this her first child?"

"No, you idiot, this is her husband!"