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#71
11-19-2007, 07:13 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
I'd be interested if someone could name specific benefits of having children. So far I've seen an argument about my genes but that doesn't really matter to me. [/ QUOTE ] It seems like when countries industrialize and generally become wealthy, their citizens tend to have fewer children per household. It must have something to do with wanting more time to enjoy wealth, and having some sort of entertainment other than screwing without a condom/birthcontrol. We're devolving. 
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#72
11-19-2007, 08:44 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
ok for me here's the thing:
i am going to die, and this renders my existence all but meaningless, because no matter what great things i manage to do i won't be around to experience the fruits of my labors afterwards. so one of the big reasons i want to have kids is to leave a footprint on the earth, and have some small direct influence on the future of life on this planet through bringing someone up the way i feel is right, and nurturing them so that they can take what i've learnt/earnt, and turn it into something even greater. and then hopefully pass that on to their kids also. i guess that is my response to mortality, as an atheist. it's also probably the closest thing to true love there can ever be, too.
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#73
11-19-2007, 11:14 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
I understand how it is difficult to specifically spell out the benefits of having children vs the drawbacks in a manner which truly represents the balance.
I think a better question for the skeptics to ask is "Does anyone regret having children?" The fact that everyone here is overwhelmingly glad they did indicates to me that the benefits, while abstract, are profound.
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#74
11-19-2007, 11:15 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
I understand how it is difficult to specifically spell out the benefits of having children vs the drawbacks in a manner which truly represents the balance. I think a better question for the skeptics to ask is "Does anyone regret having children?" The fact that everyone here is overwhelmingly glad they did indicates to me that the benefits, while abstract, are profound. [/ QUOTE ] You've convinced me... let's make babies
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#75
11-19-2007, 11:39 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
I think a better question for the skeptics to ask is "Does anyone regret having children?" The fact that everyone here is overwhelmingly glad they did indicates to me that the benefits, while abstract, are profound. [/ QUOTE ] This is an excellent point FFK. You just can't understand the effect that having your own kids has on your life. I was / am in the "I'd like to kick other people's kids across the room" crowd. But my kids, of course, are the greatest kids on Earth. I just sent my son off to college, and I get to see him for a couple of hours a week, at most. I miss him so much. It's impossible for someone who doesn't have children to understand. Another huge benefit of kids is it keeps my wife and my love for each other strong. We have very differing interests, and I'm not at all certain our marriage would have lasted without kids. But when you have children together with someone, at least in our case, it bonds you together like nothing else. Everything else seems trivial in comparison. It's not all fun and joy, however. My daughter is 16, beautiful, popular, and with a mind completely her own. No, it's not always fun.
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#76
11-19-2007, 12:04 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
This is an excellent point FFK. You just can't understand the effect that having your own kids has on your life. I was / am in the "I'd like to kick other people's kids across the room" crowd. But my kids, of course, are the greatest kids on Earth. [/ QUOTE ] But clearly you are aware of the fact that your kids really are not the greatest kids on Earth and that you are just being wilfully blind because of the special relationship you have with them. [ QUOTE ] I think a better question for the skeptics to ask is "Does anyone regret having children?" The fact that everyone here is overwhelmingly glad they did indicates to me that the benefits, while abstract, are profound. [/ QUOTE ] To borrow a play from the pro-children camp these parents have no idea what they missed out on so how would they have regrets? The only way to know for sure would be to get two runs at life and have children in one and be childless in the other. Even then the answer would only be correct for that specific individual. Some people are perfectly happy being at home and not really having a social life. Others would be miserable.
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#77
11-19-2007, 12:13 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
the benefits of being a parent:
if you're a bad person you get a defenseless thing to abuse if you're a good person you get to share your virtue and joy with another and they share their virtue with you.
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#78
11-19-2007, 12:23 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
But clearly you are aware of the fact that your kids really are not the greatest kids on Earth and that you are just being wilfully blind because of the special relationship you have with them. [/ QUOTE ] Duh. And if you ever have kids, you will think they are the greatest as well -- and I'll want to kick them across the room. That's the way it works. [ QUOTE ] To borrow a play from the pro-children camp these parents have no idea what they missed out on so how would they have regrets? [/ QUOTE ] While true, it's a little misleading. Now that I've had kids, I can tell you that I would never make the decision not to have them. I was married for 4 years without kids, so I have lived life both ways. If you choose never to have kids, you will not have that luxury. And it's quite possible you will have regrets, agree? Whereas I will never have them. In addition, in two years my wife and I will again be alone with no children in the house. We'll be 46, and still have 30 or so years ahead of us to do whatever we want -- no strings attached. Those 20 years of "burden" (if that's how you look at it) will be a very small price to pay, in my opinion. Your mileage may vary.
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#79
11-19-2007, 12:27 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
kids i know i want 100%
a wife, i'm not so sure. i still don't how this works as i'm not one of those guys that could settle for seeing my kids every other weekend or switching off holidays or whatever. i have been with a couple of women in the past that i knew would be fantastic mothers, but neither would go for it w/out the marriage. i have always thought that having children would be the most fulfilling part of my life, so if i don't find a woman that changes my mind about marriage in the next ten years (i'm 30) i'll most likely go the single dad route. does anyone on here have any experience with that?
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#80
11-19-2007, 12:33 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
kids i know i want 100% a wife, i'm not so sure. [/ QUOTE ] I had to laugh at this. While neither my wife nor I have ever regretted having kids, I can assure you we've both had moments of regretting we ever got married. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I think that's pretty par for the course in marriage.
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