Update on the Chimp/UFC champ fight question

[Bigdaddydvo]

In this thread David convincingly establishes that an enraged chimp is a lock in a fight vs. any UFC or MMA champ. My question is: If after once again placing these two foes into the Octagon, what is the minimum level of arming the UFC champ needs to stand a chance. Specifically, how would the UFC champ fare if he was armed with:

1) A small sledge hammer

2) Baseball Bat

3) Chain saw

4) Kitana sword

Other weapon suggestions are fine; the intent is to find one that neutralizes the chimp's awesome strength and various physical advantages and makes the fight an even money contest.