This Fish Swims Up Your Pee Pee

[GrandmaStabone]

"This Fish Swims Up Your Pee Pee" or.... "Never Pee in the Amazon River!"

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The candirú or canero (Vandellia cirrhosa) or toothpick fish is a freshwater fish in the group commonly called the catfish. It is found in the Amazon River and has a reputation among the natives as the most feared fish in its waters, even over the piranha. The species has been known to grow to a size of 6 inches in length and is eel shaped and translucent, making it almost impossible to see in the water.


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(Wikipedia)

Essentially it shadows a larger fish and can sense when it exhales. When it does the Candiru instantly darts into the open gill and attaches itself by a series of reverse barbs, making it virtually impossible to pull out.. Once firmly held it latches into an artery and has blood pumped into it.

The thing is, when people urinate in the river, the fish can 'smell' the urea and ammonium in the urine, which attracts it. It then darts up your urethra (deeeep) and sets it's reverse barbs.[/i] (Dry-heaving yet?) Many people without access to medical care have had to be castrated to remove it.


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It is feared by the natives because it is attracted to urine or blood, and if the bather is nude it will swim into an orifice (the anus or vagina, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra). It then erects its spine and begins to feed on the blood and body tissue just as it would from the gills of a fish. The candirú is then almost impossible to remove except through surgery. As the fish locates its host by following the water flow from the gills to its source, urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candiru homing in on a human urethra.


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A Trip Report:
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Silvio Barbossa was one such soul. He was swimming in the Amazon River when he went head to head with the tiny parasite:
"I felt like urinating. I stood up, and it was then it attacked me. The candirú attacked me. […] When I saw it, I was terrified. I grabbed it quickly so it couldn't go deeper inside. I could only see the end of its tail flapping. I tried to grab it, but it slipped away from me and went in. […] I was very afraid, because the candirú bites."

When the candirú successfully invades a human, it proceeds exactly as it would with a fish host. After entering the misidentified orifice, it quickly wriggles its way in as far as possible, often accompanied by the victim's frantic attempts to grip the slippery, mucus-coated tail. In the unlikely event that the panicked victim manages to grasp the fish, its backwards-pointing barbs would cause excruciating pain at each pull, and bring a quick end to the dramatic tug-of-war. Once inside, the parasite inches its way up the urethra to the nearest blood-gorged membrane, extends its spines into the surrounding tissue, and starts feasting.

For the candirú, this misguided journey is a one-way trip; its bloody banquet leaves it too swollen to escape.


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A traditional cure involves the use of two plants, the Xagua plant (Genipa americana) and the Buitach apple which are inserted (or their extract in the case of tight spaces) into the affected area. These two plants together will kill and then dissolve the fish. More often, infection causes shock and death in the victim before the candirú can be removed.


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Have a nice day.

[TiK]

That was just mean.

[RaMz123]

Why would you do that? Seriously Im going to have nightmares

[punkass]

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That was just mean.

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[ballahollaSHIPIT]

my pen0r just ran away.

[mbillie1]

I'm never leaving my apartment again.

[slickpoppa]

I'm wearing a condom while swimming from now on

[gisb0rne]

From the Wikipedia article: "All stories about this fish entering human bodies by any route whatsoever are anecdotal. There has never been a first-hand report of medical intervention in such a case published in any reputable, peer-reviewed, medical journal."

However: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010907.html

[mbillie1]

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From the Wikipedia article: "All stories about this fish entering human bodies by any route whatsoever are anecdotal. There has never been a first-hand report of medical intervention in such a case published in any reputable, peer-reviewed, medical journal."

However: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010907.html

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You have no idea how much better I feel now lol

[mmbt0ne]

Please. Everyone already knew about this after watching The Rundown.