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#191
08-09-2007, 02:49 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
KRAMER: "Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptation, but what tempts you? You're a portly fellow aren't you? a little long in the waistband. Is it the salty snacks you crave? oh no, yours is a sweet tooth."
David Puddy: "I don't know to many monkeys that could take apart a carborator" Frank Costanza: "Your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!" 
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#192
08-09-2007, 03:02 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
MR. ROSS: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
FRANK: That's perverse!
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#194
08-09-2007, 03:30 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
Sweet fancy Moses.
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#195
08-09-2007, 03:31 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
A George divided against itself cannot stand
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#196
08-09-2007, 04:47 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
I got these quotes from www.seinfeldscripts.com so I wouldn't butcher any of these.
In the episode they're all in Hollywood: Jerry: So Kramer, what are you going to do? Kramer: Do? Do? Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done and the way I'll always do it. George: Kramer, what the hell are you talking about? (the way George says this line makes me LOL every time) Kramer: What do you want me to say? That the things haven't worked out the way that I planned? That I'm struggling, barely able to keep my head above water? That L.A. is a cold place even in the middle of the summer? That it's a lonely place even when your stuck in traffic at the Hollywood Freeway? That I'm no better than a screenwriter driving a cab, a starlet turning tricks, a producer in a house he can't afford? Is that what you want me to say? George: I'd like to hear that. Jerry: Yeah... Kramer: Well, I'm not saying that! You know, things are going pretty well for me here. I met a girl... Jerry: Kramer, she was murdered! Kramer: Yeah, well I wasn't looking for a long term relationship. I was on TV. George: As a suspect in a serial killing. Kramer: Ok, yeah, you guys got to put a negative spin on everything. --- George at Pisano's Worker : Number 49. George : You know my last name is Costanza . That's Italian . So you and I are like country men. Pisano's ! Worker : $ 6.50 your change. George : And I always take care of my Pisano's. So here is a little something. ( drop in tip and worker looks the other way , so George decides to take it out and try again only to get caught ) Worker : Hey ! You steal my money !! George : No no .. That's not what I was trying to do! Worker : I know what you try to do. Get out .. Don't ever come back ever ! --- The gang at Monk's: George : It's not working, Jerry. It's just not working. Jerry : What is it that isn't working? George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong. ( A waitress comes up to G ) Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee. George : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea. Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this. Elaine : Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you. George : So what? What am I supposed to do? Elaine : Go talk to her. George : Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don't approach strange women. Jerry : Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them. George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should. Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something! ( He goes over to the woman ) George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction. Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me. ( G takes a deep breath ) George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents. Victoria : I'm Victoria. Hi.
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#199
08-09-2007, 05:33 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
HERB: Building A. Are you for, or against, the motion to impeach?
RALPH: What does that mean? HERB: It means, if you're for the motion, you're against Morty. RALPH: So why don't you say that? HERB: Hey, I'm running the meeting. RALPH: If you think so. -------- Kramer: Did you bring the video camera? Jerry: Yeah, I put a six hour tape in. That should cover the experiment, the arrest, and most of your trial.
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#200
08-09-2007, 06:38 PM
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Re: favorite Seinfeld line
One just now. Paraphrased
JS: You know Shuman went nuts that way. GS: Benny Schuman from camp? JS: No, you idiot... GS: Idiot? Who are you Bud Abbot?
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