An interesting story from the gym yesterday

[Jihad]

This is a fairly embarassing story, but funny enough that I've so far been willing to share it with whoever is around. Figured you guys would get a kick out of it.

I was a little dehydrated and my stomach was a bit tumultuous yesterday when I arrived at the gym. I lifted for an hour, and decided that I was in decent enough condition to go for a half hour treadmill. The gym was full and I got one of the very few remaining treadmills. About 5 minutes in I started cramping, so I took a quick break to stretch. Got back on, 2 minutes later, repeat problem, same fix. 2 minutes later, cramps again, getting better but now my stomach starts talking to me. 2 small farts escape my delicate grasp and quickly make their way to my nose, where I define them as average in both smell and strength, so not that bad.

I jump back on the treadmill and feel wonderful. I slowly feel a sort of 'presence' in the room, and out of my periphery pick up that the 50 year old man beside me is glancing at me. After 1-0 seconds of that, he full on steps off of his treadmill and starts staring at me. I try to avoid his gaze, but eventually just look over at him to realize that he really is looking straight at me with a look of utter disgust. I stop running and take off my headphones:

"Can I help you, Sir?"
-"Did you just fart?"
"Yeah, actually, sure did."
-"That's revolting. Are you an animal? Why wouldn't you go to the restroom?"
"Well it wasn't planned, and the restrooms are downstairs."
-"Do you really think that's appropriate?"
"Not particularly, but I don't really think its a big deal"
-"Well it is a big deal. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"OK well I'm really not."

And then I just put my headphones back on and started running again, intentionally not responding to snippy comments or obvious stares. 5 minutes later I get a manager-type in front of my treadmill. I'm immediately thinking 'you really can't be serious, this HAS to be about something else.' He's not looking very friendly. So I stop slow the machine to a brisk walk and say hello.

"Can I help you?"
-"We've had a complaint that you are farting while on the treadmill."
"Well it was just once, and yes. I didn't really plan on it, but there was no helping it."
-"OK, I'm going to treat this as a warning, and if any more complaints get filed, or if any of the staff notice it again, we're going to ask you to leave for the day."

I've had a lot of problems with the staff and the gym in general, and I'm almost fed up, so I decide I want to go with this:

"I'm going to put my headphones back on and run. If you're not gone in 15 seconds, and if any of your staff ever approaches me about this issue again, I'm going to revoke my membership that same hour."

He left immediately, and I didn't hear anything for the rest of the day. Going back today, interesting to see if I'll have to revoke my membership or not, I have no problem either way. The only thing I regret is that I didn't have enough in me to fart on the manager. I really, really thought that would be funny, and certainly would have done it if possible.

-Jihad

[mmctrab]

Gyms in general keep getting worse and worse but that's just friggin' ridiculous.

[Rootabager]

that's the dumbest story I have ever heard.

you were way way way to nice to the guy calling you an animal.

I cant tell how I would have reacted, getting super pissed and yelling or laughing so hard I couldnt breath.


You could also use the argumet... He who smelt it, dealt it.

[J.Brown]

so ridonkulous!

the fart smell is never the worst smell in the gym anyway, save the honor for the no showering cat pee smelling dudes who sweat on everything.

anyway, where do you live and is this a gym chain or privately owned place? wow. uh, thanks, uh hmmm for sharing i guess, lol. J.

[Jeff_B]

you know kicking some dudes ass is a pretty solid cardio workout imo

[suzzer99]

Letting loose a 45 second colon buster is one thing. But two small farts, and not repeating is pretty ridiculous for someone to get bent out of shape about. It's a gym, people exert themselves.

Does anyone else have a problem with old dudes in general at the gym? They're always grumpy. They often monopolize stuff and won't let people work in. Then they wander around the locker room naked for an hour.

[That Foreign Guy]

Hooray for my gym. The owner was showing me around before I joined and went "this is the free weights area where the grunting and sweating and farting happens". My face lit up.

/brag

What would be funny is if when you go back you threaten to sue the guy for calling you an animal (especially if either of you are not white) and the gym for creating a hostile atmosphere.

I would quit that place even if it meant lifting buckets of rocks in the park. [censored] them.

[Jihad]

Dude I hate Old Guys so [censored] much. I have so many sick and annoying stories about Old Guys. I once walked into a gym while visiting Canada and was greeted by a fat grey hair, waving to me through his legs, welcoming me to the locker room while blow drying his balls bent over as far as he could.

[Packard]

True about old guys in the gym (sure there are rare exceptions.)

Old guys train with very low energy or intensity and they think they know a lot about training cause they started doing 3 sets of 10 of the same exercises from 2 years ago when they started lifting. Then old guys complain about tiny gym issues

[Uston]

Am I the only one that thought OP unknowingly [censored] his pants?