A "do I owe my friend this money" thread, slightly atypical

[DrewDevil]

I don't think you should be perturbed about the Bellagio and should pay.

I would be VERY irritated about the Capital Grille thing, but I think you have to speak up when the bill comes, not later. "Uhhhh.... sorry guys, this is a little embarrassing, but I really can't afford to split the bill equally. I'm afraid I can only afford to pay for what I ordered." Any decent people would trip over themselves to take care of the bill properly then.

[tuq]

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with that dinner situation.. if that must be done, i would mention it beforehand.

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While this is the best solution, I think it was still salvageable all the way up to when the check came. I don't think any of those professionals would have begrudged him for having to kick in an extra $10-20/each and cutting him out of the pool were he to bring it up. That said, real ballas play credit card roulette in this spot.

As for the room that's a tough one but again that you probably didn't even see coming. I think the moral of the story is, don't do Vegas for a bachelor party unless you're prepared to spend about 50% more than you planned. I recently begged out of a BP there and was unsurprised to hear about how everyone went over budget, largely in part to one guy spending money on behalf of everyone else on strippers and bottle service, and then coming to them to collect. Ugh.

[jba]

sorry but dinner is on you for not dealing with it. i know it's uncomfortable but just say "hey guys I'm broke I'll get the server to put mine on a different check". pretty standard actually.

if I understand the room thing you never slept there? when you dropped off the bag, did you say something like "hey can I leave my bag here" or did you just walk in like it was home? kind of important.

more than anything else sounds like you have a problem communicating. realize that you're probably the only one who had these types of problems on this trip, part because you're broke which isn't your fault but mostly because you're not communicating. that's on you, pay up.

[Hey_Porter]

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sorry but dinner is on you for not dealing with it. i know it's uncomfortable but just say "hey guys I'm broke I'll get the server to put mine on a different check". pretty standard actually.

if I understand the room thing you never slept there? when you dropped off the bag, did you say something like "hey can I leave my bag here" or did you just walk in like it was home? kind of important.

more than anything else sounds like you have a problem communicating. realize that you're probably the only one who had these types of problems on this trip, part because you're broke which isn't your fault but mostly because you're not communicating. that's on you, pay up.

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I've already admitted that I will be paying up, for many of the reasons you mentioned. The question isn't that, it's whether these situations are valid/fair on their face.

But, to clarify, it was a "hey, do you mind if I leave my bag here" situation. Dropped it off, left; we're talking less than 20 seconds. Morning, I changed there, and left. Five minutes, max.

[tuq]

Hey Porter,

Life lesson learned and you'll be prepared for the next bachelor party - people tend to be non-nittish on those things and pool all costs, no matter how extravagant.

[Runkmud]

The casino situation sucks, if that $85 is your split for one night in the room than unfortunately you've got to eat it.

The dinner situation you shouldn't have to suffer through. Realistically though, you should have seen this coming. While the server is taking your order just whisper to her that you're paying with a credit card or something and that you'll need a seperate check, easily done.

[Hey_Porter]

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The dinner situation you shouldn't have to suffer through. Realistically though, you should have seen this coming. While the server is taking your order just whisper to her that you're paying with a credit card or something and that you'll need a seperate check, easily done.

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While this is my usual MO, I'm not sure if a place like Capital Grille is fond of separate checks.

[slickpoppa]

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Dinners with a lot of people are always problematic. If you split the bill, then the cheapos go wild and free ride on everyone else, but if you don't split the bill, there are always some people who will try to short their share. I just assume that if I go to dinner in a large group I'm gonna end up paying more than I should somehow.

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This only happens when you eat out with jerkoffs. In college, people were always shorting the bill in these situations but when I got cooler friends later in life (not necessarily richer compared to the restaurant prices either) I found the opposite effect. Everybody would overpay so much we'd be leaving like an 80% tip and you'd have to force people to take money back.

Lately, I've hung out with a completely different set of people that have a better way of doing things. If we go out to eat or for drinks or whatever, somebody will just pay the whole bill, then somebody else will pick it up the next time. It's never discussed or made an issue of; people just have the consideration to volunteer to pick it up in such a way that it all evens out in the end. Obviously, this is exploitable but if anybody in the group was that petty, they probably wouldn't last long.


To the OP, the dinner thing sucks but the room thing seems fairly reasonable. In both instances, if paying was going to be an issue, you should've brought it up in advance.

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You don't always have control over who you go to dinner with, especially when you have people from different social groups coming together like at a bachelor party or birthday. None of my good friends are douchebags, but it's impossible not to be associated with douchebags by 1 or 2 degrees of separation.

[Homer]

Definitely pay for the hotel room.

As for the dinner, give whoever is collecting the cash the amount you owe for your meal. If someone says something, say you ordered less because you are short on cash. I get so sick of people who want to split a bill down the middle after I've ordered a grilled cheese and they've ordered a fillet mignon. With a good friend who isn't cheap it's different, since it balances out over time, but in a situation like you presented, no way I put in more than my fair share.

[tuq]

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The dinner situation you shouldn't have to suffer through. Realistically though, you should have seen this coming. While the server is taking your order just whisper to her that you're paying with a credit card or something and that you'll need a seperate check, easily done.

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While this is my usual MO, I'm not sure if a place like Capital Grille is fond of separate checks.

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They are there to serve you, not the other way around.