An interesting thing I did for discussion. Was I right or wrong?

[Max Raker]

Why are your parents having a christening and did you have one?

I think this is right on the borderline. I mean if somebody gave you a Christmas gift and you refused it i would say you were being a huge nit.

I would do it because baptisms are so cool.

[Alex-db]

Perhaps you could accept in principle to your mother, begin the ceremony in front of the congration and substitute the prepared text for a Dawkins essay...

[MaxWeiss]

Long as you made it clear to her that you would take responsibility for him, which was very likely her main concern, you did nothing wrong in not proclaiming it in a way that you didn't agree with. Whatever.

[thirstyforwater]

[ QUOTE ]

My mother wanted to feel secure that after her passing I would step up to the plate and take care of my bro. This is something I would do anyway, and I believe she knew that, but she wanted extra assurance.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you want to discuss with your mother the possibility of becoming a co-guardian when your brother reaches 18.

My girlfriend was in a similar situation. She has a mentally disabled sister and she became a co-guardian for her sister. Her situation is a bit different because her sister is over 18 years old.

[hitch1978]

[ QUOTE ]
Why are your parents having a christening and did you have one?

I think this is right on the borderline. I mean if somebody gave you a Christmas gift and you refused it i would say you were being a huge nit.

I would do it because baptisms are so cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that ~95% of the people I grew up with (School friends) that were from non-religious families were Christened. I would guess that number has dropped to ~90% now, it's just what people do/did. The Christmas analogy is a pretty good one actually.

I will not be getting my children Christened, but I know many other athiest friends that have/will. I don't really get it. My sister is an athiest and recently got married, the whole ceremony was religious, people just seem to accept it. It was very important to me that my own wedding ceremony was not religious, and I did not hold it in a church.

So I hope that kind of explains why my parents were having a Christening. Or more why they were not, not having a Christening.

Yes I was Christened.

[hitch1978]

[ QUOTE ]
Your family's obligation not to force psychotic tales of flying dead people onto you is greater than your obligation to appease those beliefs.

So you're fine, in my opinion. You can still fulfill a godfather role without participating in a bathing ritual.

[/ QUOTE ]

My family never forced anything on me. Least of all religious beliefs. My school was different, there was no choice of primary school in my area, we sung hymns 3 times a week, my mother went to the same school. She was certainly not a Christian though. People just seemed to accept religious ceremony's for certain things (as I have just stated above) without either feeling the need to be a member of said religion, or feeling intruded upon by it.

[hitch1978]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

My mother wanted to feel secure that after her passing I would step up to the plate and take care of my bro. This is something I would do anyway, and I believe she knew that, but she wanted extra assurance.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you want to discuss with your mother the possibility of becoming a co-guardian when your brother reaches 18.

My girlfriend was in a similar situation. She has a mentally disabled sister and she became a co-guardian for her sister. Her situation is a bit different because her sister is over 18 years old.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thankyou for this. I'll definately be giving this some thought.

[hitch1978]

[ QUOTE ]
Couldn't you just be a "godfather" without all the religious stuff?

[/ QUOTE ]

The whole ceremony is basically the new godparents swearing to help the parents raise the child in the ways of the bible. I don't know how unerversal it is, but it was a Church of England ceremony (I think) and the 'godfather' means exactly that, according to the words used in the ceremony.

The ceremony, of course, had completely different connotations for both my mother, and (I would guess) ~90% of people that have them. It is more like the fluffy meaning - welcome into this childs life in a slightly enhanced/recomfirmed role.

[hitch1978]

[ QUOTE ]
I think it depends entirely on how much it upset your mother. It seems to me that the only harm you did was contained in that - leaving her feelings out of it, I think it was right to decline the invitation but offer the support and reassurance of looking after your brother if the need arose. If your mum was able to accept that eventually, then there was no long term harm plus you havent had to lie.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have since made a point of stating to my mother that when I see my future, it is one where I am planning contingencies for my brother living with me, maybe in an annex of the house I hope one day to build. And that I am planning financially for a future in which he becomes one of my dependants, so I think I reconciled that ok.

[tame_deuces]

I really don't think either action is wrong.