Baldness

[FeliciaLee]

Thank you!

Jeez, I have posted more in the past two days than I have in the past year, it seems like!

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My family (mostly women) are extremely judgemental about hair. If you've got b00bs, you have to have long, flowing, blonde hair. I finally found a good stylist though, and experiment far more with my hair now than I used to. Hair is still serious business to my family, though! Today, I have 'boy' hair in the back and I know that later, when I see my mother, she will probably make some comment about it. She'll tell my aunts, cousins and grandmother about it, and there will be no appreciation that it looks better on me as a 5 foot tall petite girl than face covering, shapeless hair.


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This kind of family peer pressure really bothers me. My family tried to force me into that lifestyle, and I balked. I left the town and the state. I absolutely refuse to engage when they attempt that BS and state that they will be without my presence if they don't let me live my own life, and be who I want to be. It has sort of made me somewhat of a black sheep, but I am also very respected and my family does not cross inappropriate lines anymore with me.

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Thank you for posting this. For what it's worth, I loved the Susan Powter blonde spike look you had going for a bit there. It's beautiful and looks very empowering and therefore sexy.


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You're welcome, and I hope you got something out of it.

As far as the Susan Powter look, people seemed to love that on me. Go figure. I just bleached it white to hide the gray, lol. But that look has passed. I have some kind of spot on my lung (not cancer) which makes it impossible to bleach my hair anymore (can't breathe!!!). Maybe I will get better, but I don't want the spot to turn to cancer just for vanities sake, yanno!

I have some temporary color, but it won't go white, that is for sure.

Felicia [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Ray Zee]

i think you look the same as with more hair. just less hair. very pretty.

but we all have to remember that what our skin delivers to us is what we have to live with and so who cares. its never looks, its really the person inside. i say to hell with anyone that judges anything by looks.

[samjjones]

I'm definitely in the minority, but I really dig short hair on women.

[Arnfinn Madsen]

I think that if you in any way look different from the ideal/norm, if you carry it with pride you can actually gain some charisma from this. There is nobody that isn't charmed by the old proud smiling farm woman with wrinkles, missing teeth and a bad leg. It is very relieving and satisfying for everybody to meet and talk with people who do not pretend that they are perfect. I have been in many tough discussions and negotiations both privately and professionally and one thing is definately certain, if you appear perfect you get nowhere. It is your "defects" that give you character, and the more you have the less threatened people around you feel by you, and thus more ready to interact with you in an open, meaningful way. So in human interaction the positives from your baldness probably outweigh the negatives, so your life quality may very well improve.

[punkass]

Felicia,

I repeat the sentiments in this thread. You are a truly beautiful person in and out. Your strength is an inspiration, your kindness is soothing, your beauty is obvious, and your poker playing skills are to be admired.

I still remember years ago when we'd kill the $20 sngs. That was fun.

I hope you are enjoying your time in the dry west coast.

[FeliciaLee]

Aw, you guys are so sweet. I really have no problem whatsoever with my own head (at least it's not bumpy, lol). I was writing more to try to help others who have problems with balding and self-confidence.

But I really appreciate all of the sentiment.

Yes, I remember when Dave, Jason, you and I would sit in empty rooms and chat, the play those SNG's. I remember you were the first one to attempt the $50, and we were all in awe, lol [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Those were great times.

Felicia [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[somapopper]

Great post. I'm 25 and as a balding young man just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.

I started balding around 18. I started balding on top rather than having a receeding hairline. I alternate between being jealous of receeding hairline folks (doesn't it always look better when it's not happening to you?) and thinking that's silly.

Anyway, I didn't really care at 18 much. One notable exception was when I saw a girl that I had had feelings for and she said "wow you're really losing your hair," or something to that effect. But for the most part I was OK with it until about the senior year of college, when the bald spot had become quite large and my hair started thinning in the front as well.

At this point it seemed noticable to me. Most of the time I didn't care, but if I was feeling especially blue or sorry for myself there was that needling voice of insecurity that would shout at me "and you're bald!" I started wearing ballcaps a lot.

Unfortunately that's more or less where I'm at now, mostly minus the ballcap. About 80% of the time I can say that it's just a natural aspect of my life and if a girl finds me otherwise attractive, if having a little less hair is a deal-breaker she's not somebody I want to be involved with anyway.

The other 20% though, that's when I think it's all so terribly unfair to go bald so young (I'm sure this feeling is much worse for women) and that no one can truly be attracted to me. It's utter nonsense of course. I know that it's utter nonsense. But I suppose an idea that we know to be untrue can have a powerful hold on us if it's an idea capable of exploiting our worst feelings about ourselves.

I've considered drugs. Surgery is definately too much for me, financially, physically and emotionally. I don't like that the drugs are a lifelong commitment and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to not "be balding/ bald" in other peoples eyes, even with best case scenario results.

I'm also somewhat wary (and weary) of the self-improvment culture that we live in. Being presentable is one thing, but I'm simply not devilishly handsome and I think that's more a matter of genetics than anything else.

Some amount of concern about our appearance is probably a good thing, but as you're transitioning into the realm of things that can't be changed through a healthy lifestyle, I'm pretty sure that the reason we have these insecurities is because somewhere, down the line, it sells widgets. To the extent that I'm in any way capable of not being part of that, I don't want to be part of that.

[Scotch78]

Somapopper,

Bic it.

Scott

[somapopper]

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Somapopper,

Bic it.

Scott

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Scotch, I've thought about it. Got a haircut today and got the usual which is about an inch on top, quarter inch on the sides.

I sort of squinted at myself while I was getting the cut and tried to imagine what I'd look like with a bald head. I don't think it'd look very flattering. My main problem is that I have a naturally very light complexion (with black hair) and I don't tan easily. I feel that the darker you are, the better the bald look is for you. Agree, disagree?

Part of the argument that people offer for just shaving is that its an acceptance of the hair loss. I'm all for that, but it's not like I'm really hiding anything with my current hair cut.

[dogsballs]

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I sort of squinted at myself while I was getting the cut and tried to imagine what I'd look like with a bald head. I don't think it'd look very flattering. My main problem is that I have a naturally very light complexion (with black hair) and I don't tan easily. I feel that the darker you are, the better the bald look is for you. Agree, disagree?

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nah. I'm a pasty white scot living among young tanned surfer dudes & I look way better buzzed (not better than the surfers [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] ... just better than me w longer hair) . I gotta big head too.

I'm now 41 and been slowly receding since about 20. It would concern me, but then I buzzed it several yrs ago and never thought about it since.

If in doubt, buzz it!! Like others have said - you won't go back.