|
|
#1
02-26-2007, 01:07 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Beat: I don\'t think I can show my face in my local bar for a while
The thought that woke me from my slumber yesterday morning was, "Where am I?" I shot up from the couch I had been sleeping on and realized I was in my friend's basement. It was a little after 11, and it was time for me to go home. So I called my friend, I figured he was sleeping in his room.
"Hey man, can you take me to my car?" "Your car is outside." "What? You let me drive here?" "We all drove, it was like a drunken train." If this had been the only stupid thing I had done Saturday night I might be able to salvage a little bit of my own dignity, but this is only the tip of the iceberg my friends. Let me preface my belligerent behavior with what got me there. My local bar had bottles of Bud and Bud Light all Saturday long for only 95 cents. This was way too good of an offer for me to pass up, so I took full advantage of it. I met two of my friends up there at about 2 p.m. and drank 2 beers and a Jaeger bomb before I headed off to work. I already had a substantial head change, and knew that if I quit drinking the headache that would follow would limit my productivity greatly. So I did the only thing I could: I kept drinking (I am a bartender). Over the course of my shift I put down a frozen margarita, 2 beers, 2 vodka tonics, and 2 red bull and vodkas. I then drove straight to back to the bar, where I managed to consume 2 Jaeger bombs, a flaming Dr. Pepper, one or two lemon drops, some peppermint tasting shot, and beers the whole way through for 95 cents. I am not sure if the flaming Dr. Pepper counts though, because right after I took it, I casually stood up and walked to the bathroom (had to play it cool for the ladies). Once out of their sight, I began a mad dash for the toilet. Some drunken prick was just ahead of me. The toilet and the urinal were both full, and my mouth was doing that salivating thing it does when vomiting is inevitable. I hunch over the sink, where I repeatedly spit and tell that [censored] to hurry up before I puke in the sink. The dude from the urinal finishes first, and I contemplate yakking there. I stumble towards the urinal and he sees my plan of action, and says "No don't do that man, hold on he's almost done, you can make it." That man must've had a bladder the size of a [censored] basketball, but he finally finished and let met puke up my flaming Dr. Pepper. I went back to the table to try to fit more alcohol into my stomach and make even more of an ass of myself. One of my friends had been smooth enough to get a couple of ladies from his work to come up there with us. There was his project, a cute little blonde with an annoying voice and even more annoying personality. Then there was her girlfriend. I wish I had a better idea of what she looked like, but I remember thinking, "Meh, good enough." One of my friends says she wasn't as fat as I think, but who knows. Regardless, I pounce and begin smoking cigarettes outside with her. I have absolutely no clue what we talked about, but I remember my friend kept on showing up. I don't think he was [censored]-blocking, he probably just wanted to smoke too. But my friend could take over a conversation quickly, and I couldn't have that. So on our next cigarette break I grabbed her and told her we were going to my car this time. She obliged and we went to smoke. I do remember the conversation from there, as the girl has excellent taste in hip-hop. I hardly ever meet dudes that like the same music I do, and this was a girl. I thought I was falling in love, and tried to stick my tongue down her throat. "Whoa, Whoa. I just met you, I don't get down like that." "I think I love you." We exchange numbers and go back inside, where things start to get really fuzzy. I remember hitting on the waitress, and she told us she had a boyfriend. "What's that got to do with me Dee?" She just laughed, but who knows what was really going on in her head. When I paid her later I wrote " I am cooler than your boyfriend" really big on a 20 spot. I think the ladies left at this point, I sure [censored] hope so. I have no recollection of the next chain of events whatsoever. This is what I have been told though. As the bar was trying to kick us out I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to scrape any more resin out of the potato (beat) that I'd been smoking out of. I figured I could score at Austin's. "WHO'S GOT THE WEED!? I KNOW YOU'VE GOT THE WEED DEE!" She's on the other side of the floor with her jaw on the ground. The manager walks closer to us and is mugging us. "DO YOU HAVE THE WEED MAN?" "No, you're not going to be able to find that here." My friends decide that it's time to get me out of there, so we begin making our way towards the door. I guess I became enamored with one of the fake trees by the front door, and was standing in front of it picking leaves off of it. The manager comes back over to me and asks me what I am doing. "It's okay man, I'm doing an experiment." I guess my then pulled me away, but I got to another fake tree and did the same thing. The guys then got me out the door, where I headed to my car. I told them that I would drive us home, but we had to smoke first. I was trying to light some resin with my friend's lighter, and got pretty pissed off that there was nothing to smoke. So I took the potato, got out of my car, and heaved it across Austin's parking lot. Unfortunately for my friend, his lighter was still in my hand too. "Did you just throw my lighter?" "Was it blue? Sorry." My friends both followed me separately back to one of their houses. We went to his garage to drink another beer, but I guess I just leaned up against the truck with my eyes closed and a full beer next to me. I then went inside, puked, and passed out. The crazy thing about all of this is I had no idea I was this drunk. My hangover was minimal, but I was seriously blacked out. This has never happened to me before. I've been reminded of things that I did drunk and recalled them, but a couple of these incidents from Saturday night I have no recollection of. I am pretty embarrassed, and don't want to show my face in my local bar for a while. I am still going to call that girl today though, I just hope she's a 5 or better. Wish me luck. CLIFF NOTES Brag: Had an excellent time from what I remember Beat: Made a complete ass out of myself at my local bar and don't have the balls to show back up there for a while. Variance: Got a phone number, possible vag in my future. 
|
|
#4
02-26-2007, 01:21 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Beat: I don\'t think I can show my face in my local bar for a whil
you think that constitutes making a complete ass out of yourself? feel free to try and step up to the big leagues anytime son...
|
|
#7
02-26-2007, 01:27 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Beat: I don\'t think I can show my face in my local bar for a whil
[ QUOTE ]
whats tl;dr mean? Also this is nothing, i was expecting a much better story than i got drunk, threw up, and tried to mack on this girl. [/ QUOTE ] as above this story sucks.
|
|
#8
02-26-2007, 01:27 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Beat: I don\'t think I can show my face in my local bar for a whil
You've got to understand this is my bar, everyone knows me, but not very well. I guess everyone was thanking my friend for yanking me out of there, and I will now be known as "that guy". Not cool buddy.
|
|
#10
02-26-2007, 01:34 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Beat: I don\'t think I can show my face in my local bar for a whil
[ QUOTE ]
You've got to understand this is my bar, everyone knows me, but not very well. I guess everyone was thanking my friend for yanking me out of there, and I will now be known as "that guy". Not cool buddy. [/ QUOTE ] If this is your bar and everybody knows you, they'll forgive you getting drunk and being an [censored] once. That what happens at bars.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
