What will make you happy?

[Yeti]

Around 95% of you reading this sentence are relatively young men. Most of you are probably pretty comfortable financially. A lot of you have travelled extensively and seen the world, sometimes purely on the back of poker. That's pretty wild - I think about it a lot. This game has been good to so many.

On the surface your lifestyle probably looks incredible and glamorous. And that's because it pretty much is. I go through ridiculous mood swings every day for reasons I haven't quite figured out yet, but no matter how much I moan, I always try to remind myself that I have a pretty damn good life.

But I am not happy.

Not how I would like to be, at least. And having spoke to some of you, it appears I am not alone. I start to wonder what it takes to be truly happy, day in, day out. Is that even possible?

Of course, a lot of what I'm talking about boils down to them. Women. I know it's cool and 'alpha' to spout lines about ignoring them and not putting them on a pedestal, and for years I believed it. (Although I probably didn't follow it.)

But the more I talk to friends the more I realise that everyone seems almost anxious about the future and the uncertainty of whether they will be happy. Someone just told me he is happy now, but wonders if he will ever be REALLY happy until he marries that perfect girl.

Is that relationship even enough though? Or do you need to have children with that person and see the smile on your son or daughter's face to experience that happiness we seem to crave?

Talk to me.

PS. Sorry about the Tommy Angelo meets Carrie Bradshaw meets bisonbison writing style. I don't know what came over me.

[Jurollo]

I think the job of online poker alone makes a lot of us unhappy. Its isolationist in its very essence and cuts us off from the outside world to an extent which contributes to these feelings likely.

[Claunchy]

I think if you are pursuing things you feel to be worthwhile, and you're at least moderately successful in those endeavors, happiness will typically follow.

Obviously having a close network of loved ones, whether it be a wife/GF or just really close friends, is important too.

[nation]

I'm happy with my career, but the only thing that will make me happy with life is raising a family with a woman I love. That's basic human nature though, I think.

-nation

[Alobar]

I think for me, the only way I'll ever find true and total happiness is to find peace with the fact that someday I will die. No matter how great my life has been up to this point there is always the fact in the back of my mind that none of it really matters cuz at some point I will cease to exist, and that unsettles me so much that I cant be truly content with anything I have or where Im at.

I know for most people the concept of happiness is tied to the ability to find someone of the opposite sex. Its not really that way for me tho. I think I could never meet my "soul mate" and still find perfect bliss. I look at relationships like just another aspect of my life, a good one will bring me joy, but I dont think its the end all be all of me, just like I dont think any other 1 thing is either. That said, ive never been married, never found the one and have no kids, so maybe my opinions will change at some point in the future

[ImprovinNewbie]

Yeti, amazing post and it came a really scary time in my life concerning women. I just had the conversation with my folks that me and me girl are going to move in together at the end of this school year. it makes me extatic, excited and scared as hell. money is obviously not enough to make most people truely happy, although, deep human to human relationships are... whether they be real friends or a wife or children. These things are individual and it sounds like you are doing some serious soul searching about it; certainly the way to find out. Good luck to us all in finding happiness and good look to you Yeti.

[nation]

"I think the job of online poker alone makes a lot of us unhappy."

This is very true. I lived by myself for a year, and it was the worst year of my life. I could see myself sinking into depression.

Now, I always try to surround myself with people. My dad kind of understands it, because he sweated me one day and made a comment the next day sort of acknowledging that it's a solitary lifestyle and having roommates or close friends with similar goals is imperative.

[MaxxDaddy]

I'm 23 and still living at home. I'm taking this year off and applying to medical school. I applied for research jobs, but got rejected at every turn. Now I'm teaching the Kaplan MCAT course part-time. Sometimes I go through mood swings where I become depressed thinking about what'll happen if I don't get into med school and regretting some of the decisions I made in college, like not doing enough research. I realize I'm quite lucky to have a girlfriend, friends, and family that will accept me for whatever I end up doing and won't judge me based on whether or not I get in. However, at this precise moment in time, getting into medical school, so I don't have to worry about it any more, will make me happy.

[4_2_it]

Good luck finding the perfect girl. I love my wife, but each of us is far from perfect.

I am happiest when I doing something that involves one of my daughters. Maybe we are watching TV or listening to music. Or I could be helping one of them with homework or watching them play sports. Even talking to my 13 year old about life is satisfying. I especially enjoy getting hugs from my youngest. I find that my kids are huge happiness generators.

I have worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get where I am. it is nice to be able to enjoy my kids.

I'm sure once they move on to college and life that my wife will once again be the main source of my happiness.

Here's some food for thought: I realize now that when I was under 25, I often confused having fun with happiness.

[Victor]

i really want my knee to stop hurting so i can run and play soccer again.

id like to find "someone" as well.