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#1
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] So her grandfather died after alot of hospitalizations, and she definatley saw it coming and so did her family but she isn't taking it well. I have to drive awhile and meet her family, which i've never done, and I really don't want to go. We aren't very serious. Is it -ev to just say "I don't want to go." and be honest? I don't think lying is a good line... and I wouldn't expect her to attend a wake for my family and I doubt I would even invite her unless she knew the family member. need help =-0 [/ QUOTE ] If you don't want to break up, go. If you do, then be honest, then break up with her in a couple of weeks. [/ QUOTE ] Why would I break up with her, because her grandfather died? That makes no sense. If she can understand my hesitation then there is no problem between us. |
#2
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
Well, as you said, you two aren't too serious. If you wanted to help move along the relationship, this would be a great opportunity to. If you don't want to, then skipping out would be a great move. There's not that much to it, and that's why everyone thinks you're ready to bolt on this girl.
If you want to talk to her about why you have some apprehension about going, feel free to. It could help bring you two together. But don't do it with the idea that there's no chance you're going. Go in with an open mind and the awareness that she's going thru a lot more than some possible social awkwardness and you'll be okay. Probably. Or she'll think you're a totally selfish prick. It's hard for me to say, as I don't know how she feels about you. She obviously has some feelings for you, or she wouldn't want you there with her, as her emotional support. |
#3
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
OP,
I think it's extremely petty that you are even thinking about not going. I understand that you don't know these people, but your being asked by someone to come help them cope with a tough situation. Part of being a good friend/human being is helping others through times like this. Someday, you will likely have the same type of thing happen to you. I've been to numerous funerals for friends/fraternity brothers of mine where I didn't know anyone involved. In each case, I knew they were having a hard time, and wanted to be a good friend. It was slightly uncomfortable for about 2 seconds until I realized we were all adults and not 10 year old girls and everything went just fine. In fact, this type of thing really helps you grow up and be a better friend/person in the future. I know a lot of people have thrown out the whole "If you don't care about her..break up with her.." line, and you've shrugged it off. But clearly you don't even consider this girl to be a friend of yours if you don't want to do this for her. There is no rule that you must be madly in love, or soulmates, or best friends in order to ask someone to come help them cope with a difficult time in their life. IMO, deep down you should kind of want to do this for someone, and if you don't...it's kind of sad. |
#4
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
Also,
The idea of rolling the dice with her understanding your hesitation is selfish as hell. She's torn up over the loss of a relative, and your trying to come up with a relevant excuse not to go. Either do it, or don't. Don't piss her off, then show up, and have it mean absolutely nothing. |
#5
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
[ QUOTE ]
OP, I think it's extremely petty that you are even thinking about not going. I understand that you don't know these people, but your being asked by someone to come help them cope with a tough situation. Part of being a good friend/human being is helping others through times like this. Someday, you will likely have the same type of thing happen to you. I've been to numerous funerals for friends/fraternity brothers of mine where I didn't know anyone involved. In each case, I knew they were having a hard time, and wanted to be a good friend. It was slightly uncomfortable for about 2 seconds until I realized we were all adults and not 10 year old girls and everything went just fine. In fact, this type of thing really helps you grow up and be a better friend/person in the future. I know a lot of people have thrown out the whole "If you don't care about her..break up with her.." line, and you've shrugged it off. But clearly you don't even consider this girl to be a friend of yours if you don't want to do this for her. There is no rule that you must be madly in love, or soulmates, or best friends in order to ask someone to come help them cope with a difficult time in their life. IMO, deep down you should kind of want to do this for someone, and if you don't...it's kind of sad. [/ QUOTE ] QFT. Imagine how bad the OP is going to feel if they end up hitched and her family remembers how cool/awesome the grandfather was and all he'll remember is being a pussy and wussing out. It's a wake for crissake. |
#6
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] OP, I think it's extremely petty that you are even thinking about not going. I understand that you don't know these people, but your being asked by someone to come help them cope with a tough situation. Part of being a good friend/human being is helping others through times like this. Someday, you will likely have the same type of thing happen to you. I've been to numerous funerals for friends/fraternity brothers of mine where I didn't know anyone involved. In each case, I knew they were having a hard time, and wanted to be a good friend. It was slightly uncomfortable for about 2 seconds until I realized we were all adults and not 10 year old girls and everything went just fine. In fact, this type of thing really helps you grow up and be a better friend/person in the future. I know a lot of people have thrown out the whole "If you don't care about her..break up with her.." line, and you've shrugged it off. But clearly you don't even consider this girl to be a friend of yours if you don't want to do this for her. There is no rule that you must be madly in love, or soulmates, or best friends in order to ask someone to come help them cope with a difficult time in their life. IMO, deep down you should kind of want to do this for someone, and if you don't...it's kind of sad. [/ QUOTE ] QFT. Imagine how bad the OP is going to feel if they end up hitched and her family remembers how cool/awesome the grandfather was and all he'll remember is being a pussy and wussing out. It's a wake for crissake. [/ QUOTE ] well I think this is like the only post that makes sense here too bad I didn't read this yesterday thanks |
#7
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
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well I think this is like the only post that makes sense here [/ QUOTE ] Somehow, I'm still amazing by people who start a thread to try and justify their questionable ethical position on something, and then ignore or otherwise discredit the response they get from the majority of the forum calling them an [censored]. |
#8
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
YOU GO GIRL!!!
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#9
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line? *DELETED*
Post deleted by IggyWH
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#10
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Re: GF invites me to wake, whats my line?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] So her grandfather died after alot of hospitalizations, and she definatley saw it coming and so did her family but she isn't taking it well. I have to drive awhile and meet her family, which i've never done, and I really don't want to go. We aren't very serious. Is it -ev to just say "I don't want to go." and be honest? I don't think lying is a good line... and I wouldn't expect her to attend a wake for my family and I doubt I would even invite her unless she knew the family member. need help =-0 [/ QUOTE ] If you don't want to break up, go. If you do, then be honest, then break up with her in a couple of weeks. [/ QUOTE ] Why would I break up with her, because her grandfather died? That makes no sense. If she can understand my hesitation then there is no problem between us. [/ QUOTE ] If she can understand your hesitation about providing the most important thing that she needs in a relationship? Yep, good luck with that. |
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