Asked Girl out- Rate my play - Page 3

chopstick · #21 07-07-2006, 12:52 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Me: I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee with me sometime
Girl: (Looking genuinly sad) I have a boyfriend....
Me: Not suprised. (with a smile) You have a good day
Girl: You too, come back if you need to buy flowers for anyone in the next couple weeks (she says, while kind of shrugging)

I nod, confused, and walk off. I had meant to give the rose I had just bought to her regardless if she said yes or no, but I was kinda embarrassed after the conversation and just walked off.

Also, I don't really know what her last comment meant, but if I do need flowers for any reason soon, I think i'll go back. My thoughts were maybe her and her BF are on shakey ground, as she did seem genuinly disapointed to say no, but that could be positive thinking.

How'd I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

Initial approach was excellent, although you might want to pick a specific day and time with that line, and cut the passive "I was wondering.." part.

Something more along the lines of:
Me: Would you like to get coffee after your shift?

Direct, assertive, intentions clear. Not overly aggressive. Lets her know you are interested and confident about it.

The planned endgame of giving her the flower was not a good plan for multiple reasons:

- she is a florist, she doesn't want a flower.
- it's past cute, heading towards "a little too stalkery"
- awkwardness potential if shot down, as occurred.

No need to be embarassed, how were you to know she had a boyfriend? You didn't do anything wrong, and she probably felt quite flattered.

I think you did well. I'd not worry any more about her. If you really want to test the waters again, next time you go on a date, get the chick flowers. Pick up the flowers from that store. Be honest if she asks who they are for. She'll probably be even more friendly because you obviously aren't still after her. Maybe you'll get to know her. Maybe things will go bad on your date and you'll have a funny story to tell her next time for the next date you pick up flowers for. Maybe you'll become friends and she'll set you up with one of her hot friends. Who knows what will happen. Just don't go in expecting anything. Oh, and don't set up dates just for the purpose of this.

Overall, well played.

_TKO_ · #22 07-07-2006, 01:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Something more along the lines of:
Me: *open your mouth but pause slightly before speaking* Would you like to join me for a coffee after your shift? *charming smile*

[/ QUOTE ]

AEKDBet · #23 07-07-2006, 01:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Not giving it another shot would be stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is false. The "no downsides" rule only goes so far.

The odds of randomly bumping into that girl at a bar 1 year from now and hitting it off exceed the odds of going back there in 1 week and looking despirate and getting anything.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe the way you play the game. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Seriously tho Crimson, he brings up a good point.
You're not going there to "gee whiz can I ask you out", rather give her another chance to enjoy your company over a cup of coffee.
If still no, then you couldn't care less. Her loss.

siccjay · #24 07-07-2006, 01:44 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Me: I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee with me sometime
Girl: (Looking genuinly sad) I have a boyfriend....
Me: Not suprised. (with a smile) You have a good day
Girl: You too, come back if you need to buy flowers for anyone in the next couple weeks (she says, while kind of shrugging)

I nod, confused, and walk off. I had meant to give the rose I had just bought to her regardless if she said yes or no, but I was kinda embarrassed after the conversation and just walked off.

Also, I don't really know what her last comment meant, but if I do need flowers for any reason soon, I think i'll go back. My thoughts were maybe her and her BF are on shakey ground, as she did seem genuinly disapointed to say no, but that could be positive thinking.

How'd I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

Initial approach was excellent, although you might want to pick a specific day and time with that line, and cut the passive "I was wondering.." part.

Something more along the lines of:
Me: Would you like to get coffee after your shift?

Direct, assertive, intentions clear. Not overly aggressive. Lets her know you are interested and confident about it.

The planned endgame of giving her the flower was not a good plan for multiple reasons:

- she is a florist, she doesn't want a flower.
- it's past cute, heading towards "a little too stalkery"
- awkwardness potential if shot down, as occurred.

No need to be embarassed, how were you to know she had a boyfriend? You didn't do anything wrong, and she probably felt quite flattered.

I think you did well. I'd not worry any more about her. If you really want to test the waters again, next time you go on a date, get the chick flowers. Pick up the flowers from that store. Be honest if she asks who they are for. She'll probably be even more friendly because you obviously aren't still after her. Maybe you'll get to know her. Maybe things will go bad on your date and you'll have a funny story to tell her next time for the next date you pick up flowers for. Maybe you'll become friends and she'll set you up with one of her hot friends. Who knows what will happen. Just don't go in expecting anything. Oh, and don't set up dates just for the purpose of this.

Overall, well played.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is perfect advice. Definitely no need to be embarrassed, you probably made her day.

shemp · #25 07-07-2006, 02:09 AM

Hero: Wanna get coffee sometime?
Cutie: I've got a boyfriend...
Hero: Scotch?

or

Hero: But can he do this? (then lick your eyebrows)

But seriously folks. You did it just right, and these guys telling you to persist are dopes. It makes so much sense to speak up and ask someone out if you think you have some chemistry rather than plot and moon. For one thing, the answer isn't as important.

ChipWrecked · #26 07-07-2006, 02:14 AM

What IggyWH said, also, remember that whether they say yes or no, they are glad you asked.

d10 · #27 07-07-2006, 02:30 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Also, I don't really know what her last comment meant, but if I do need flowers for any reason soon, I think i'll go back. My thoughts were maybe her and her BF are on shakey ground, as she did seem genuinly disapointed to say no, but that could be positive thinking.

[/ QUOTE ]

It sounds very likely that her last comment was just a standard closer she gives to all her customers out of habit. These guys telling you to try again are wrong. If you felt that you might have a chance, the time to push has already passed. At this point, even if you did have a chance, asking again looks so desperate it will immediately turn her off and kill whatever chances you did have. I agree with the other poster that said your chances are better of randomly meeting up with her sometime down the road, but more importantly if you get stuck spending any more time thinking about this girl you're going to miss other opportunities with other equally hot girls. Good job having the balls to ask her out, but this one's finished.

TIEdup14 · #28 07-07-2006, 04:00 AM

I admire your effort!

90% of guys would have just walked away, wondering "what if"

RunDownHouse · #29 07-07-2006, 04:04 AM

I can't believe The Game is the greatest driving influence for an entire generation of dudes.

TIEdup14 · #30 07-07-2006, 04:47 AM

I am in 100% agreement with you RunDown

"The Game" is an internet dork's bible [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

I think I really just dont like the idea of treating the courting process like a game of counter-strike, for example

It can be fun and quirky (like the myspace inside thing, nutso) and trust me, I definitely think that guys working together, bouncing ideas off of each other as to what's the best thing to say in a given situation is a great idea

But there's just something about the whole "Fast Seduction" community that leaves an acrid taste in my mouth