country bumpkins vs. city slickers

[mmbt0ne]

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Finally, I like how I don't have to deal with Jesus-freaks, racism/antisemitism, crooked cops , and slack-jawed yockles.

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Guessing you haven't dealt with too many NYPD officers.

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You're absolutely right. I haven't dealt with NYPD cops, because I'm white. Not that NY is racist or anything

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[Alobar]

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i was born and raised in a <3,000 person town in northwestern wisconsin. spent my college years (16-20) in a 100,000 person town, and now live in vegas at 21, so i feel pretty qualified to comment on this.

small town pros:

1. you know everyone.

if you're moving to a different part of town, 25+ people (probably from your church) will be at your door whenever you need to them to be to help you.

if your car breaks down at 2:40 a.m. you can get a ride from the first person that passes you by w/o having to worry about getting a tire iron to the face.

when you forget your wallet when you go up to get gas at the holiday station, you can just pay the next time, or drive home to get you wallet and come back to pay.

2. the police

you get pulled over, it's likely to be someone you know. or someone you dad knows, or your uncle went to school with. if you're not doing anything truly stupid, the conversation will likely end with, just slow down, and i'll see you at Joe's for the football game this sunday.

3. the shopping/restaurants

if you want a good piece of pie with a cup of coffee, it's going to be $2 at the Backdoor Cafe. if you want a homemade sandwich with all the fixins done just the way your ma' did it along with a coke, it's going to be $3. but you can still go up to the McDonald's for a cheeseburger after work, or Subway for a meatball sub after the football game on Friday night.
if you want a pair of pants, it'll probably be levi's from Pamida, and they're going to last you for two years. probably more if you want to take them up to Amy's Tailoring to have a patch put on the hole in the knee.
if you really want to go to a mall to get a hollister surfing shirt, the mall is only an hour and a half away. the drive isn't bad because you get to hang out with your parents, or your friends parents during that time and not feel dorky because there's really no one else you can go with, so you learn to like it. also, once you're 16, you have something else to look forward to on the weekend.
also, if you crave something at 3:00 a.m. you're just going to have to wait.

4. entertainment

a night at the theater means catching a movie that actually came out 9 months ago. but hey, you've never seen it, so that's awesome, because it's new to everyone else in town too. friday nights are spent at the football game in the fall, the basketball game in the winter, and golfing with your friends/family in the spring time. summer last forever, and most school kids are going to be floating down a river somewhere, probably drinking beer, or playing baseball at the elementary school. adults are probably at a bbq with their kids talking about when they were floating down rivers drinking beer and playing baseball.
parties are in fields. or in the gravel pit. that's how it's been for years. and no, it's not a secret place that the cops won't know about because that's where they partied when they were sitting in the same high school desks listening to the same teachers you have. they just leave you alone because they were left alone.

5. environment

it's clean. you can walk anywhere without a surgical mask. you can get into the woods in a matter of minutes, and hunt and fish everyday if you want. there's no smog, there's hardly any pollution. and there is PLENTY of untouched oxygen. you can see the stars, and climb the trees.

6. employment

your dad probably went to high school with the guy that owns the video store, when you go in for you "interview" ask him about the 1978 state championship game. you'll get the job.
an economics degree won't get you as much respect as the fact that you mowed Mr. Thompson's lawn from age 12- the present. and you want to be a salesman and sell something to a farmer, be prepared to get your bruno's full of crap helping get the cows rounded up.
but once you do get a job putting windows together at the factory, you'll have job security for the rest of your life, and you'll be making the same amount of money at 70% of the rest of the town so you won't have an inferiority complex when you 1996 ford truck passes Bob's 1996 chevy truck on the way to the bar after work.

7. girls

put out. and put out good. they don't know any better. and yes, you'll probably end of sleeping w/ at least half of the 30 girls in your graduating class. probably more if you're on a sports team.



cons:

1. you know everyone

if you smoked a cigarette in your buddy's car on the way home from school. your parents will know before dinner is on the table. and if you smashed Old Lady Smith's mailbox, your dad will pick you up from the cop shop and walk you straight to her house to apologize, then she'll offer you cookies.
if someone cheats on their spouse with an "outsider," they will have a hard time buying groceries/ getting gas/ going to the football game without getting a hundred dirty looks.

2. the police.

if they didn't like you or your parents when you were in school together, you will be getting a ticket for going 28 in that 25. and if you look at them funny when they're chewing you out for underage drinking, you'll probably get 3 other tickets also.

3. the shopping/ restaurants

no, no one knows what "gucky" is and if they have holes in their pants, it's because they've worked those holes into them. same thing with paint.
you can't get a triple half-caf soy latte w/ 3 espresso shots.
you're not going to get a Benz. ever.
5th avenue is where the old folks home is.
you won't get a good bottle of red wine with your dinner.
(but you will probably get a $1.00 pbr)

4. entertainment.

again, if a new movie comes out on April 4th. it will get here in October. the only stage shows you'll see is the high school talent show.
you're not going to go to a professional sports game. but the games you do get to go to after driving 8 hours to that big city are games that you will remember for the rest of your life.

6. environment

there aren't any awe inspiring architectural sights for hundreds of miles. the air might be cleaner, and the trees might be fun to climb, but you're not going to be able to be all touristy by seeing different sights every weekend if you want to, like you could in NYC.

6. employment

there are 12 different jobs you can get. pick one.
you're not going to make enough money at any of those jobs to buy you the biggest houses in town, unless your parents had those jobs first/ or went on fishing trips with those people.

7. girls

you're probably related.

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awesome post. I grew up in a small town so maybe thats why, heh.

[solids]

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Finally, I like how I don't have to deal with Jesus-freaks, racism/antisemitism, crooked cops , and slack-jawed yockles.

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Guessing you haven't dealt with too many NYPD officers.

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You're absolutely right. I haven't dealt with NYPD cops, because I'm white. Not that NY is racist or anything

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LOL. What a stupid argument.

[Anacardo]

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Cardo, Are you leveling?

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Um, no. Irish Pat Cleburne, Pete Longstreet, George Thomas, etc. etc. etc.

[kidcolin]

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Medium-sized city far from either coast is obv the way to go here. There are still plenty of convenience stores and restaurants and sporting events and asian massage parlors, but the cost of living isn't ridiculous and the traffic is bearable too.

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If I'm going to live in a city then I like to make it a major one. To offset all the drawbacks I need to have stuff that a big city can offer me. Lots of good nightlife, heaps of touring acts, just a really crazy dynamic place. Otherwise I'll just hang on a mountain somewhere.

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I'm with you on this. I either like big, major cities, or a small rural place. I live in an in between-y right now, and it's like the worst of both worlds. Though I think Claunchy modified what he meant. He probably means a place like Austin as opposed to Wichita.

Re: Barbers. I've had great luck in small towns. $10 bucks for a great haircut and no waiting in Bristol, RI.

I think eventually I'll live in a rural area, but maybe not given my current line of work.

[J-Mac]

+1 for slickers.

I was sitting in my apartment last night and I heard a noise outside. There was a fireworks display going up a couple hundred feet away. Couldn't figure out why there was a fireworks display on October 14th. And it was a massive fireworks display, it would dwarf the Fourth of July fireworks of any small town in America, it even gave NYC's 4th of July a run for its money. So I stood and watched this terrific mystery fireworks show from the comfort of my own apartment, and I thought to myself, how many places in the world can you see something like this from where you live?

On the flip side, when I first heard the explosions and saw the flashes in the corner of my eye, I thought for a split second that we were under attack, which I don't think I would feel if I lived somewhere more rural.

[J.A.K.]

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Finally, I like how I don't have to deal with ... racism/antisemitism

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I know what you mean. A parking attendant (African-American) at a Braves game refused to allow my cousin (Caucasian) to park because he had a rebel flag/deerhead tag on the front of his truck.

[miajag]

Basically this comes down to, "do you prefer being around ignant-ass crackas or ignant-ass negroes?"

Personally my preference is as follows:
1. Small/medium town an hour or two drive from major city(s)
2. Inside a major city
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3. Close suburb of a major city
4. Small country town in the middle of nowhere

[Ser William]

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Yeah, I meant like the Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse snow belt, I'm currently in Rochester. These pretty much fit the diluted version of a big city perfectly, a lot of the negatives and very few of the positives.

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I lived in Roch 26 years and I gotta call BS on this. Are you seriously telling me there ARE positives there?

[diddyeinstein]

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Portland, OR for the win. It doesn't offer all the perks of a "big" city, but you can live in the country (no, not the suburbs, the country) and be 25 minutes from downtown, 45 minutes in heavy traffic. 1.5mm gets you a 5000 square foot house and acreage.

I like bumpkins over "city slickers," because more often than not the slickers are posers, and the bumpkins are genuine. Gross generalization, but my sample size is enough to make me feel ok saying it.

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Good to know because Portland is looking like the next place I'm going to live.

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Just about anywhere's a step up from Shreveport.

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Shreveport is a huge step up from my hometown: Jefferson, TX.