Vegas trip report-Part one, long

[wildpike]

Ok, here it goes. I have viewed many trip reports and have decided to post my own. I will post the first few days and if there is interest, the rest will follow.

Background: I make it out to Vegas about once a year and the last 3 (including this one) I have taken my drunken ass degenerate low level gambler friend with me we will call Bill-because that is his name. We are both old by 2+2 standards, an archaic 33 years and married (to women, not each other). There will be no stories of blow and naked women but much poker, drinking and witness to strange happenings. I am here pretty much to win at poker and pay off my trip with winnings as well as drink. Bill is here to drink and drink and drink, try to win at poker and drink.

Sunday
We are staying at the Flamingo for 5 nights and leaving St. Louis at 8am. Bill's wife works for the airline and gets him free flights but only if he flies standby. There are very few seats left and if he does not get on, most likely flying to Dallas and waiting for the next 5 overbooked flights to leave and will get in that night at 10pm. He scores the last seat on the plane and is seated across the aisle from me in exit aisle. Lucky already and we haven't even left. Is this an omen?

We are in a cab instantly and are driven by a very strange looking creature--aren't they all? Before I know it, we're on the west side highway going to the Flamingo on the east side of the strip. WTF lizard looking guy? Our cab ride is $21+ tip, of which he did not get a good one. I tell Bill to pay this unusual looking d-head since I am going to try the $20 trick at the counter.

$20 trick works well and we are given a suite. Score #2. Lucky again, I will win millions on this trip undoubtedly. A quick lunch at the IP Burger Palace and it's off to poker at the Flamingo since we can't check in yet.

I sit at 1-2NL while Bill is playing his usual 2-4 limit game. The plan is to win small NL games during the day and build up enough winnings to play 2-5 and 5-10 NL with other people's money. Im a total tight ass with my roll but not a nit at the table. My roll is at 36K, I bring 5500 with me but Im still a bitch and cant force myself to play 5-10. Someone please harrass me until you see playing at least 2-4 on PS.

Im up quick to about 245 when this hand comes up. A few callers and I make it $10 with A-9clubs on the button. Tight old nit calls in sb along with MP player. Flop is KcJc9s and nit leads for 15. MP calls, I raise to 45, nit calls and MP folds. Turn in 2h and check check. River is 10s. Nit checks and I think there's no way he's checking a Queen here and can't call big bet. I bet $100, he tanks and says I have to call. KK for flopped top set. NH-well played sir. The table looks at me like I have 2 heads-how could I make such a play? I lose a few more and down to like 40 bucks. Tight old nit leaves a few minutes later expectedly and is replaced by someone the whole room recognizes and sits on my left. A young guy from LA sits on my immediate right and through conversation I find out he just busted out of WSOP main event (its the 15th of July) in like 220th place for 45+K. Great 1-2 table selection I have made. I cap off to 200 and make around 50 in uneventful hands. A loud obnoxious drunk from NJ sits 2 seats to my right and sprays his words with spittle all over anyone within 3 seats of him. Beat. Time for my first beer. I try a new Chill since Ive never had one and its just ok. Sam Adams next. Its a draft which is fine except for spitter man and I can guess just see spit bubbles forming in the top of my pint. This will be my first beer ever that I order and dont finish in Vegas. I decide this is my last lap as Im now distracted by spit, want to see my suite and Im in the middle of a semi-pro sandwich. UTG last hand. Dealt QQ and pop to 10. MP caller and WSOP money winner call. Flop is J-6-4. WSOP bets 15, I raise to 50, MP folds, WSOP calls. Turn in 8-rainbow. I bet 75, WSOP shows AK and folds. I show him QQ since Im leaving and down $103(2 3/4 hours) after this hand. Stupid KK.

Bill is hammered already as I approach his table to see how he's doing. 7 of them have been talked into Jaeger bombs and a young girl begs me to drink hers for her. Its 1 pm. How can I say no? I tell Bill Im checking in and the whole table wants me to come back and drink with them. Ok, I can make 100 at a table full of drunks playing 2-4 limit. Back soon.

Flamingo suite is funny. Its bigger with a couch but all still one room. Oh well, 20 bucks isnt much, the extra space is ok. I would still try it again though and think youre crazy not to in Vegas. I get the bags delivered, take a quick shower to wash NJ spit off my right arm and back to poker.

I sit at 2-4 game and everyone is plastered. This should be easy. I bet Detroit guy on who comes closer to Adam Wainwrights E.R.A. and win $10. So Im at table like 4 1/2 mins and they decide to switch to 2-4 omaha hi/lo. Give me a break. I switch games to come play sub-value meal limits and you change the game. I win a few pots off idiots including Bill that cant read their hands after 3 minutes of study and call anyway with counterfeited hands and this hand comes up. I have Q-J-10-9 double suited clubs and diamonds. Flop is Q-10 clubs and 6 of diamonds. I bet and get called in like 14 spots. Turn is 2 of purple hand grenades. Dumb Betty in EP bets into me? I call. River is a blank for my draws and I call the bet. She turns over 2-2-9-10 rainbow. WTF!!!! Im not an Omaha player and I know its a drawing game but this is terrible beat, correct? Pot was close to $100 in 2-4.

Off to the Sahara 7pm donkament. Down 23 in 2 hrs. How can I not beat this game? I convince Bill to get up which after 15 mins of telling everyone his drunken life story which the other mindless fools are interested in I get him to leave.

Bill now thinks its funny to dance the whole way to the monorail through the Flamingo. Bill is whiter than chalk and wears 2 shirts all the time because you can get a sunburn through one (not kidding, thats his motto) and dances as such. Picture a drunk chimpanzee with glasses, no coordination and a very large nose (nickname is Gonzo) dancing through the Flamingo. This is Bill. It is mildly amusing however and I decide to walk behind him to watch expressions of everyone else. EVERYONE is looking at him in amazement at the stupidity that is Bill. I then realize we are walking the wrong way so I do what any good friend would do and stop my travels with Bill without saying a word. Bill dances the next 100 yards away solo and gets at least 300 glares before realizing Im not with him. The combination of shock and the little kid lost in the mall look are priceless even from 100 yards away. I have to call him to guide him back on the straight line he just walked back to me.

Bill decides he wants to mess with the sober guy (me),knowing I can kick the crap out of him anytime I want to. Imagine for the next few hours someone is putting his finger near your eye, nose or ear and chatting incessantly saying he's crazy. Every 15 mins or so, same drunk decides to put the bottom of his nasty shoe near or on you. I repeatedly tell Bill to stop or he will be struck. It doesn't come on Sunday but it will.

Sahara tourney is going ok. After the add-ons and rebuys are done I have about 5k. Nice feature is free sandwiches for players at 8pm. Been about 9hrs since burger palace. Final hand for me: Im in BB with 6600. Blinds are 400-800. UTG mini raises and gets 2 callers. I look down at QJ and think about pushing and picking up 4800 from raiser/limpers possibly but the UTG mini raise scares me. I call and flop is QQ-10. Check since I know all my money is going in pot anyway. Turn is 4 and I bet 3 of my last 5k. Everyone folds to super-donk in LP that joined the table like 20 mins ago. He tanks, looks at my chips and goes all in for my last 2K. He shows KK and I have my trip Queens. River is obviously King and mustachioed tool box exclaims 'Boom"! Well played sir. You definitely want to slowplay those kings and not pick up the 4400 in chips that are sitting there in a fast paced tourney. NH. I would have been in pretty good position with this pot but instead am hugging the rail. I run AWFUL in tourneys and this is the norm. Do very well in cash, take the winnings and lose to 2 outers in tourneys. This is where I live. I have told myself I will play more tourneys in Vegas this trip as I didnt play any in 2006 trip and only WSOP main event in 2005 from a PS sat. I realize this is just one hand but this just sucks for me but is truly how I run in donkaments.

I run to the rest room to figure out what I want to do while Bill is spending his time waiting to bust from same tourney. 2 mins later I walk out and the idiot with my chips is leaving the poker room. Sigh. I dont even have to look but do anwyay and walk back to table. There in caterpillar lip's seat is some stranger and 2 seats to his right is a mountain of chips. I look at the chips, the player and he gives me a knowing nod. Off to blackjack. I win $10 playing $3 BJ but become bored quickly. Give the dealer a chip and off to rail my large nosed ugly dancing friend. He is seated with his back to the rail with a suprising 22K in chips which is in pretty good shape. A guy in early position with about 10K in chips pushes all in and Bill goes in the tank. Knowing how tight Bill is, he has 10-10 or JJ here and doesnt realize that 10K guy's range is large since blinds are like 1-2K now. I subliminally tell him to call and he does. Bill has JJ and other hand is 66. Flop is J-6-4, turn A, river a big 6. Tables ohhs and awws, 66 apologizes and my head explodes in utter disbelief. Not in such good shape anymore. Down to 9k shortly later pushes with AQ and AK calls. Enjoy the monorail gentlemen.

This would be a great time to leave and go somewhere else but Bill decides $10 single deck BJ is a good investment. What the hell. I buy in and break even after like 4 hands and quit. After this, I decide to baby sit since the 'strange rules' of single deck like flipping your cards up when doubling or placing them under the chips but not touching the chips when standing are like reading ancient Mandarin to drunken friend. He makes $100 and I convince him to leave before the degenerate takes full control of his body. On the way out, Bill offers security guards $200 to beat me up. They ask if I have 250 for them to beat up Bill and I reply that I dont need the help. This joyfully inspires Bill to continue touching me and placing dirty shoe on me the whole way to monorail and he is again warned for at least the 20th time today.

The fun of fingers and shoes continues while waiting for the monorail. When the doors open Bill is shoved into the empty car and I run to the next one. Ah, peace at last. No, there is no peace. Some fat ugly ho with equally ugly fat husband decides to chime in with acting like childen tonight? I wonder how far this fat bitch would fly if I threw her off at the next stop. My guess is not far.

I spend the next 2 hours drinking heavily and playing 1-2 NL and winning a whole 10 bucks. I don't remember any of the hands or the session but it's written down so it must be true.

Recap--Down $169 for the day. 2 Jaeger bombs, 1 shot of tequilla, 1 Chill, 3 Sam Adams, 4 Corona's and 2 Mich Ultra's. Why am I switching drinks so much? This is not me.

Feedback appreciated. If this sucks tell me, I will not waste your time or mine. I will post part 2 if wanted. Monday--Terrible cash game beats, Imperial Palce impersonators and random physical violence await--but not against Bill.

Let me know.

[BrookTrout]

You have the patience of Job - can't wait to hear about Bill & Dealertainers....

[No Fizzle]

Yeah mang, post away...

[BigBadBabar]

awesome start, keep it up

[yanxchick]

Terrible cash games beats. Can't wait. Sounds like my trip to Vegas. After getting annihilated at the table the first night, I sit down the next night where a regular says to me, "wow, I never saw anyone take beats the way you did yesterday."

I didn't feel any better afterward.

[Mama Poker]

Fun read, I really hope your patience lasted...

[WayAbvPar]

[ QUOTE ]
Knowing how tight Bill is, he has 10-10 or JJ here and doesnt realize that 10K guy's range is large since blinds are like 1-2K now. I subliminally tell him to call and he does. Bill has JJ and other hand is 66. Flop is J-6-4, turn A, river a big 6.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just hearing about this put me on tilt. So wrong.

[kmak]

next installment plz

[KurtSF]

Please post more.

Oh, and please kick Bill's ass.

[Pscam10]

Good job man... Keep it coming