Dating/relationship general advice thread - volume 2

[JanelleBB7]

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Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

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No offense to the ladies, but I'm strongly considering looking for a chick who doesn't speak english on the other side of the world (this doesn't mean she's stupid, but her intelligence will be hard to discern beyond the speed with which she picks up english). I think a loving relationship could develop and might even be more sustainable in this kind of situation, but I'd welcome other thoughts.

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lol - Sounds like you want a relationship where you can pretend everything is good. If you could understand what she is saying you think you might not like what you hear.

[Henry17]

The power imbalance would prevent any kind of meaningful relationship from developing in that situation. Someone who can't speak the local language is 100% dependent.

[CrayZee]

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for me personally, i'd rather have the girl be smarter than me than the other way around.

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Too bad girls naturally look for guys smarter than they are. I'd rather have it the other way around as well.

[JaBlue]

my situation:

Had girlfriend for 11 months. Amazing at the start, lots of fun. Last two months filled with petty arguments and some deep-seeded communication issues, mostly stemming from girlfriend's selfishness. Finally broke it off three weeks ago, told her I couldn't be friends with her or talk to her.

Go on weekend camping trip with a guy friend and a girlfriend of the ex's. Asked nicely specifically by the ex to not get with her friend. Hook up with the friend who would be a nice friend/fuckbuddy but not interested in a relationship.

The ex pops by today with the intention to give me a letter she wrote, but doesn't have it. Then asks me to let her take me out to dinner for my birthday, says that she's sorry for the way things ended, how she handled things, etc. and that she now realizes that I'm more important to her than she thought I was.

I'm pretty much over the whole situation, feeling like I put in way more than she did towards the end and being turned off to being so committed for a while in general. Pretty sure I don't want a relationship, but then again things were amazing when they were good.

Does it ever work out when I let her take me to dinner? Is it worth it? Keep in mind I cut off communication for the sole purpose of clearing my head.

If I do get involved again, how [censored] will it be to tell her I got with (but did not have sex with yet) her friend? I feel like it'll be on my mind but I'll feel like I can't say it.

Anyway, I'm thinking I'll just say no and truly cut off communication forever, but wanted to hear if anyone had a good experience with a salvaged relationship. It is also an option to start dating the ex again but not get too serious but I doubt this could work because of our history together; I wouldn't want her to date other people and vice versa. But I don't want to be in a relationship, or so I think.

Just confused about this whole mess and can't clearly answer the question of whether or not I should give it a chance. I feel like there is not much harm in being taken out to dinner but that may just be the top of a slippery slope.

[Lethe]

JaBlue: IMO you shouldn't take your ex up on her offer unless it is specifically because you want to sex her and nothing more.

If you do decide to get back together with her, just know that at first things may be absolutely fantastic but you can pretty much bet with 100% certainty that things will eventually go back to the way they were when you originally broke up. There are lots of girls out there - why not take some time to enjoy living the single life instead?

[ikestoys]

I've been dating the same girl since my junior year of high school. We started out like a lot of people did back then, we were together to [censored] like rabbits. As we got older, our relationship grew to the point where we loved each other and began forming a real relationship. We've gone to different colleges for the last 3.5 years (Princeton and UMich) and we're planning on living with each other after we graduate. She is going to do grad school and I'm going to play poker (which she is cool with) and volunteer/do research for a year , then I'm going to decide if I really want to go to med school like I had originally planned.

I love her more than anything, and I honestly feel like she's my best friend. We're going on a trip to Maui over Christmas (ty poker) and I'm thinking about asking her to marry me by a waterfall in Hana. The only reason why I'm hesitant to ask is our age. None of my friends really can talk about what I should think about or expect and my parents had nothing to say but that expected it and supported it when I told them I was thinking about proposing. Basically I'm asking if I'm crazy to do this, and what some of the older guys think about a young engagement/marriage.

[pokulator]

If you love her more than anything, have similar thoughts about the future, and the sex is good, it doesn't sound very crazy to me.

DISCLAIMER: 30/Male never been married

[Mr. Philosophy]

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I've been dating the same girl since my junior year of high school. We started out like a lot of people did back then, we were together to [censored] like rabbits. As we got older, our relationship grew to the point where we loved each other and began forming a real relationship. We've gone to different colleges for the last 3.5 years (Princeton and UMich) and we're planning on living with each other after we graduate. She is going to do grad school and I'm going to play poker (which she is cool with) and volunteer/do research for a year , then I'm going to decide if I really want to go to med school like I had originally planned.

I love her more than anything, and I honestly feel like she's my best friend. We're going on a trip to Maui over Christmas (ty poker) and I'm thinking about asking her to marry me by a waterfall in Hana. The only reason why I'm hesitant to ask is our age. None of my friends really can talk about what I should think about or expect and my parents had nothing to say but that expected it and supported it when I told them I was thinking about proposing. Basically I'm asking if I'm crazy to do this, and what some of the older guys think about a young engagement/marriage.

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I say hold off until you decide if you want to go to med school or not. Med school causes an insane strain on relationships so I think it would be best to see how your relationship will unfold if you are in school. If things are still going well while in school then I say propose.

[Henry17]

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JaBlue: IMO you shouldn't take your ex up on her offer unless it is specifically because you want to sex her and nothing more.

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Even then I say no.

1) Unfair to Ex who will miss read dinner + sex as more than it is.

2) Sex - dealing with the drama that will come from #1 not worth it. Easier to just have sex with someone else where there will be no drama

Also does the Ex know about hooking with the friend yet?

[kipin]

I've been on a couple dates with a chick who I get along with fairly well, but I don't see any kind of long term relationship developing from it. She isn't in school, and isn't exactly at the same place I am. We aren't "official" or exclusive.

I've made out with this chick, but I have a feeling I won't be getting much more from her unless I commit to some sort of relationship.

This past weekend, I f'd a 23 year old mom, which was fun, and I'd like to continue doing so (outlook: promising!), but I don't want to start a relationship with her for obvious reasons. Not to mention she is in some sort of weird long distance relationship that I can't exactly figure out. (Her facebook status is listed as in a relationship, and her looking for category is: random play).

Anyone have any suggestions about what I should do from here?

If it matters to any of you, milfy is hotter than the chick I've been on a few dates with.