What will make you happy?

[smurfitup]

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If I end up working a job like investment banking, lawyering, or going into any of the fields I see my friends going into, I think that no matter how good my family life is I'll always feel a bit empty on the inside.

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QFT

[smurfitup]

Given that it's my birthday (22 yo), I'm in a particularly reflective mood. But the question of what makes me happy and makes humans happy in general is something I consider a lot (probably too much). I haven't considered myself happy in a long time, and this is partly attributable to poker and partly to my general disposition. I was diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder last winter (I'm originally from LA, but I went to college in New Haven, CT), but I was strongly resistant to the idea of taking any form of medication or light-therapy to cure the disorder. I just felt that there was a genuineness to my experience that I didn't want to forego in the name of momentary happiness or contentment or whatever else. Since then, what I've realized is that the times in my life that I have been the happiest are when the issue of happiness hasn't been of concern to me. Western society has exalted the pursuit of material goods to such an extent that we sometimes fail to realize that who we are when we achieve these things really won't differ that dramatically from who we are at all points in our lives. There is a term used by positive psychologists (happiness psychologists, basically) called the psychological immune system, which refers to the brain's tendency to normalize good and bad experiences so that, after a certain time, the effects of an experience on our emotional well-being aren't nearly as dramatic as we anticipated. Getting that new car, getting into the good college, getting the girl, etc. I guess, as humans, it's inevitable that we make predictions about the future and invest our time and energy into achieving these things, but I really believe that the existential idea that hope doesn't exist might be instructive. Living life with knowledge of one's mortality and the inherent unknowability of the future can really be quite liberating, though undestandably difficult to accept.

[jmill2511]

Well there's one thing that makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else can, and without her in my life I would feel pretty empty, so love is the only thing I really need to be happy. Monetary possesions don't have much value to me.

Just depends on what you value really.

[Custer]

I've seen many parts of the world. The happiest people, by far, are in Thailand. This is because 90% of them are Buddhists, I think. Buddhism teaches that wanting things, desires, and having dreams is bad and makes us unhappy. The path to happiness is not though the pleasures of the world, but from within ourselves.

Maybe someday I'll believe the Buddha. For now I like my things, desires, and dreams.

But some of you who are truly unhappy might want to go to Thailand and check it out.

[hobbes9324]

I'm one of the other 5% - 51, happy and successful. I think.
ER MD, chief of group, make somewhere north of 300k a year, married for 22 years.

Anyway, a few thoughts. The amount of $$ you'll need to keep you happy varies tremendously - you're the only person who knows what your zone will be - and that zone will likely change as you get older. A couple of weeks ago, a poster talked about wanting to be VERY rich, and got some heat for it. I wouldn't want to be poor, but I'm not conviced I'd want the baggage that comes with an eight figure income. (Like to try though) Anyway, you'll figure this out for yourself, and if you're reasonably bright, find a way to get there - making money isn't much of a skill, to be honest.

Probably the most important thing you can do is choose your partner well. I have 44 docs in my group. Probably 30 of them have been divorced, mostly with kids. They're uniformly unhappy, ranging up to miserable. A bad marriage hits your wallet, your psyche, and your future. BE CAREFUL.
And the old line about looking at the mother of your prospecive has a LOT of validity. The guy who wants to marry the "perfect" girl is a horses ass - none of them are perfect. Neither am I, or you, or he.

And if you're lucky enough to find a great partner, treat her (or him) like gold. Don't cheat on them - it isn't worth it in the long or short run. If nothing else, when they find out (and they will), you're going to spend 10000x the amount of time spent cheating trying to repair your relationship.

Treat other people well, even if they don't deserve it - good things do come back around. If you're in a position of authority, treat the people "under" you at least as well as your peers. You'll be happier for doing it, I promise.

Or you could just go with the old standby "do unto others...." - life flows pretty smoothly when you do.

Anyway.....good luck.....

MM MD

[ImsaKidd]

Excellent post Hobbes.

I'm really glad this thread was bumped.

[MikalSjekson]

To answer the question stated in the thread title;
An 6+/10 in my Financial Accounting exam tomorrow.
IF NOT endlife.txt

[FastPlaySlow]

Cars and girls make me happy. Therefore a super car and super gal would make me happy.

In some ways, they are the same.

[chicheebee]

someone mentioned gilbert's book on happiness. i havn't read it, but there's an interesting talk by him on the subject here http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/97

[amplify]

I have chased women, booze, drugs, and money. Everything but fame. None of it has any lasting meaning. None of it can make me happy. I have decided that Buddha was correct, that the only way to eradicate the endless suffering is to leave the cycle of craving, aversion and ignorance. To stop chasing. To stop hating. To understand the nature of reality and live in the ever-present moment. This is not an easy thing to do to say the least, but I don't see any other way out for me.