Someone please help me

[Ryan Beal]

I've read this thread a couple times now, and I'm not sure if I should add anything to [censored]'s ban. Do you guys think that was enough for him to get the message?

What's your opinion now katy? If you'd rather discuss this by PM, please feel free to respond that way.

[James.]

this guy posts in small stakes LHE. he's never come across as a nutjob, but he has made some goofy/worthless posts.

it's sort of wierd, i actually just responded to a PM from him(i'm pretty sure it's the first time he's PM'ed me) before i came to this forum. he asked if my avatar was a picture of me and if i had a yellow naped amazon(i guess that's the bird on the dork's shoulder in the picture). he also said he had one and he loved it like a "child". take from that what you want. think i should be concerned? [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

as far as how you should react; well, you're probably the best judge of that. based on what i know of him i would just lay it out straight. tell him his PM's creeped you out and to stop. i noticed you said you put him on "ignore". that should work as well. if you let him know how you felt i'm sure he would back off, anyway.

hope the other nut jobs on the site leave you alone.

James

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
I've read this thread a couple times now, and I'm not sure if I should add anything to [censored]'s ban. Do you guys think that was enough for him to get the message?



[/ QUOTE ]

Ryan, I see that JJN is now unbanned. Shouldn't there be some type of brief note placed in his already large note section documenting this brouhaha?

[Ryan Beal]

Yeah, there should be. I'll take care of it.

[VoraciousReader]

[ QUOTE ]
katy,

"I don't want to be the one who bans him because you guys don't know how paranoid I am of the internet. I'm afraid he will track me down and murder me."

This and other comments you made in the thread make it seem like you are genuininely disturbed by this stuff.

However, I just went to take a look at some of JJN's posts and saw this thread by you: "Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions" with the following joke in the OP: "(unless of course it's about 3-somes and then we would be glad to answer ok I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

Of course it is your right to post whatever you want and people shouldn't send you inappropriate stuff. However, given the effect that had on you, I think it's a big mistake of you to make threads like that drawing attention to yourself and making jokes like that. I also frankly think it's probably a mistake for you to be a mod and such an active participant in the Lounge and 2+2.

[/ QUOTE ]

This post makes me very very angry.

Edit: To elaborate, unless this was a joke, which is entirely possible, you are essentially telling someone that because she has been harassed by an unbalanced poster, she should never post anything remotely sexual, be a mod, or be an active poster.

It is not a fun thing to be a woman on the internet sometimes. You learn that at any time, someone who has up to that point seemed like a perfectly well-balanced and nice person, someone you have had friendly and positive thoughts toward, could turn hostile and nasty, for no other reason than that you are a woman.

It's upsetting and a bit scary, especially when someone reads threads in OOT where posters use the tiniest scrap of information to go trainwreck some innocent third party.

If you are implying that katyseagull drew unwelcome attention to her with that joke, here's some news: women don't have to try to attract attention on the internet...welcome or otherwise. Katy could post nothing but recipes and someone like JJNJustin who is already a little off is still perfectly capable of sending her harassing pms.

[diebitter]

Katy's participation in the lounge is an asset and shouldn't be respresented as a cherry-picked single sentence that was a joke in a very popular and helpful thread.

JJN's crude PMs after she rejected his advances were way over the line, and I do hope she's learnt how to handle these in future.

I find the insinuation she brought this on herself, and that she best disengaging from active participating on these forums remarkably unhelpful and, well, ludicrous.

[Mat Sklansky]

i won't really have computer access until monday night. it looks like people have things under control here.

[El Diablo]

VR,

"you are essentially telling someone that because she has been harassed by an unbalanced poster, she should never post anything remotely sexual, be a mod, or be an active poster."

No. I am telling someone that if they are going to be emotionally impacted by actions like that to the degree that she has explained in this thread, then imo it's not worth participating in the forum in the active manner that she does, because that kind of response is to be expected in this environment.

I say the same thing to people who get super frustrated and emotionally wrecked when they get unlucky at poker. I just tell them it's not worth it and they should find another hobby.

"I tend to be paranoid about the internet."

"I'm not liking it too much."

"I'm creeped out and wish I had never decided to mess around on the internet."

"how paranoid I am of the internet. I'm afraid he will track me down and murder me."

"I'm disappointed with myself."

Those are emotions that katy felt that came across as very sincere to me in her posts. If that's the kind of reaction someone gets from what is unfortunately behavior that comes with the territory of being a prominent, active member on a forum like this, then I don't think it's worth participating to the degree that she does. That's all.

This has nothing to do with katy being female. I've told numerous male posters who get all worked up on 2+2 that the best thing for them imo is to not participate actively on the forums.

[El Diablo]

db,

"I find the insinuation she brought this on herself"

Of course she brought this on herself. She brought it on herself as soon as she became an active member in an anonymous message forum of the nature of 2+2. If anyone thinks that this sort of thing is not to be expected by someone like katy, especially if she's making jokes like the one I posted, they have little clue about the nature of these forums. Of course it's not right. But it's also not right when people wish a horrific death on me. If those posts/PMs bothered me, though, I wouldn't participate here, that's all.

"and that she best disengaging from active participating on these forums remarkably unhelpful and, well, ludicrous."

Ludicrous and unhelpful? What? I think it's ludicrous to participate in something where it should be expected that you'll encounter behavior that will have a very negative emotional impact on you. Emotional well-being is in my book about 9 billion times more important than random "online friends."

[Evan]

I agree with everything diablo said. When Katy said she didn't want to take any action because she was afraid this guy would find her and murder her how could you not think it might be best for her not to post on an internet forum, let alone be a mod? Maybe she was exaggerating and I misunderstood it, but to me it sounded like she was legitimately scared of personal harm. That is unhealthy imo.