So my brain is(n't) weird? (names and memory)

[kipin]

This is probably a pretty common phenomenon but I am absolutely terrible with names.

If I meet someone new, I shake their hand, introduce myself, get their name, but for the life of me I can almost NEVER remember their name. Literally ten seconds after asking their name, it has completely vanished from my memory. The only time I seem to remember names are when the person's name is foreign, or I make it a point to keep asking for their name. I have found that constantly repeating their name, at all available opportunities has helped me remember some people's names.

Some tricks I have found that help me remember someones name are to associate them with someone or something else. For example, someone last weekend introduced themselves as "Banks". After hearing that I immediately associated him with the rapper Lloyd Banks and for some reason his name stuck. If your name happens to be Chris, Mike, Steve, Jason, Sarah, or Julie God help you however, as it seems your name is just too common and I won't for the life of me remember your name.

I think I am the worst at remembering names when it is a girl, with a common name, that I find attractive. For some reason, my brain just spazzes out and the whole interaction just turns into a blur. My brain literally starts scrambling the moment after she tells me her name trying to remember what she just told me.

I have found that a lot of people will remember my name when I make them feel guilty about forgetting my name. Perhaps this is the universal trick that needs to be applied. Make a big deal about how ridiculous it is that they forgot your name and their brain is tricked into thinking it is an important data set that needs to be retained for future access.

I think unlocking the secret to why I have such a problem in remembering names (and how to fix it), yet seemingly have no problem remembering a face; could vastly improve my ability to retain data and information that I don't find interesting, or important, yet would help me in my every day life.

I'm just curious if anyone has had my problem, but managed to find a way to correct this seemingly common brain deficiency. If so, would you care to share some useful tricks or exercises one could learn and apply in the future?

ED: Edited subject to specify which brain weirdness.

[kutuz_off]

[ QUOTE ]
I have found that a lot of people will remember my name when I make them feel guilty about forgetting my name. Perhaps this is the universal trick that needs to be applied. Make a big deal about how ridiculous it is that they forgot your name and their brain is tricked into thinking it is an important data set that needs to be retained for future access.


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This is very hypocritical of you in light of everything else you said in OP. I forget names often, but I have no problem asking for it again. I also don't mind people forgetting my name, and I don't see what the big deal is.

[aheravi]

No, it's you.

Seriously, though, I think some people are more wired for remembering names and stuff--at least upon first introductions. I'm horrible at it. If I'm in a situation where I'm going to meet people and it would behoove me to remember their names, the best I can do is force myself to focus...or ask the wife 5 minutes later.

Not sure if it's also because I have (what is evidently) a difficult name to remember. If they can't remember mine, why should I remember theirs?

[The Dude]

I'm not as bad you are, but I'm pretty bad with names. If I'm introduced to two people at once, quite often by the time I'm done shaking hands with the second person, the first person's name has escaped me. Like you said, name association and forcing myself to repeat the name over and over are the only ways I know to remember better. Incidentally, I usually forget to do this. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[kipin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have found that a lot of people will remember my name when I make them feel guilty about forgetting my name. Perhaps this is the universal trick that needs to be applied. Make a big deal about how ridiculous it is that they forgot your name and their brain is tricked into thinking it is an important data set that needs to be retained for future access.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is very hypocritical of you in light of everything else you said in OP. I forget names often, but I have no problem asking for it again. I also don't mind people forgetting my name, and I don't see what the big deal is.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is hypocritical, but I think it triggers some reaction in the brain that forces people to remember one's name. I would have no problem if someone used this tactic on me. It would be interesting it I could figure out how to trigger this brain response by my own accord in order to assist me in remembering someone's name.

I should note that whenever I pull this move, it is done so with someone who I know has a sense of humor as it is laced with sarcasm.

[El Diablo]

kipin,

I'll write more on this later, but here's the number one thing you can do to help.

"Hi, I'm kipin."
"Good to meet you, I'm Chris"
"Chris, great to meet you. So, Chris, what is good on the menu?"

Basically, immediately say their name out loud as soon as you hear it. Makes a huge difference.

I am very familiar with the get their name and then ten seconds later have no idea. So I do some little things like the above to make sure I really listened to their name and actually let it flow into my memory. Once I do that, I remember it for life.

[maddog2030]

I'm terrible at names also but that's just a function of how my brain seems to work.

I'm absolutely horrible at remembering general facts, especially "unconnected" ones like names of new people of whom I have no previous information base for. If I understand something, I won't forget that. But if it's just a simple piece of data, my brain has a habit of seeing it as unimportant and uninteresting and filtering it out of my long term memory. I have to try to convince my brain that it is important before I can remember that new piece of information.

Most people's brains do this type of filtering, I'm just convinced mine does a lot more of this filtering out than the average person's.

[EvanJC]

[ QUOTE ]
This is probably a pretty common phenomenon but I am absolutely terrible with names.

If I meet someone new, I shake their hand, introduce myself, get their name, but for the life of me I can almost NEVER remember their name. Literally ten seconds after asking their name, it has completely vanished from my memory. The only time I seem to remember names are when the person's name is foreign, or I make it a point to keep asking for their name. I have found that constantly repeating their name, at all available opportunities has helped me remember some people's names.

Some tricks I have found that help me remember someones name are to associate them with someone or something else. For example, someone last weekend introduced themselves as "Banks". After hearing that I immediately associated him with the rapper Lloyd Banks and for some reason his name stuck. If your name happens to be Chris, Mike, Steve, Jason, Sarah, or Julie God help you however, as it seems your name is just too common and I won't for the life of me remember your name.

I think I am the worst at remembering names when it is a girl, with a common name, that I find attractive. For some reason, my brain just spazzes out and the whole interaction just turns into a blur. My brain literally starts scrambling the moment after she tells me her name trying to remember what she just told me.

I have found that a lot of people will remember my name when I make them feel guilty about forgetting my name. Perhaps this is the universal trick that needs to be applied. Make a big deal about how ridiculous it is that they forgot your name and their brain is tricked into thinking it is an important data set that needs to be retained for future access.

I think unlocking the secret to why I have such a problem in remembering names (and how to fix it), yet seemingly have no problem remembering a face; could vastly improve my ability to retain data and information that I don't find interesting, or important, yet would help me in my every day life.

I'm just curious if anyone has had my problem, but managed to find a way to correct this seemingly common brain deficiency. If so, would you care to share some useful tricks or exercises one could learn and apply in the future?

ED: Edited subject to specify which brain weirdness.

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i'm exactly the same. i also would like to hear about some solutions [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[gwhiz_612]

Hey kipin,
I definitely have the same problem as you. It seems even worse with women because I am thinking of what to say next or how to smoothly communicate with them while they are telling me their name. I think people that conversate well without having to think about what they are going to say probably remember names easier. Heres a link with a process that will help (with some practice of course). Link

[cjmewett]

I think gwhiz's post nails it. Often the problem that I have (and I'm the same way as kipin) is that I'm not really paying attention to what the other person is saying. I'm worrying about the handshake, or smiling, or if they're going to ask me a question, or whatever.

One difference is that I don't think it's a matter of trying to think of what to say next; when speaking another language -- and usually really needing to actually think about my words -- I'm often much better at remembering names. This may be a function of the names being less common and thus more memorable, but I don't think so. I lived in Poland for a year and a half, where probably 90% of people have one of about a dozen names. I rarely had problems remembering which was theirs while there.