"The Game" Book discussion

[katyseagull]

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can i have a scale of what you consider total strangers to friends?

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I don't understand what you're asking.

[ifoughtpiranhas]

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can i have a scale of what you consider total strangers to friends?

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I don't understand what you're asking.

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i suck

i meant what is a total stranger to you? if you meet someone who you like how many hours/dates/weeks (whatever timeline you want) would it take for you to consider them not to be a stranger anymore? this may be difficult to anwser as its a gradual thing but a rough idea.

like for me if i chat to a girl for an hour at a club shes not a stranger to me anymore.

[Sholar]

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Did any of the techniques make sense to you or did they seem ridiculously obvious? I haven't read it but I've heard about it. I had been under the impression it was a manual but now come to find out it's actually a "cautionary tale".

One reviewer wrote,

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I doubt he has anything helpful for anyone except those men whose emotional maturity stalled at age 15.

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One thing I've never been clear on, did the author just act more confident and slightly disinterested around women or did he actually assume a whole new "fake" personality?

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It was a quick read, but I wouldn't call it a manual or a cautionary tale, since the moral is closer to: "After a year of having sex with stupid pretty things and living with misanthropic degenerates, Neil wants to find a pretty girl with a brain and settle down." than anything else.

I'm not sure what exactly is meant by a "fake personality" since acting more confident and disinterested is certainly some kind of personality change. The most surprising thing to me from a "technical perspective" was the extent to which interactions (with the girls) were scripted.

Regarding the OP, I wonder if the author's failings pre-PUA are somewhat exaggerated for effect. At the end of the day, he's a writer for Rolling Stone who takes up with a musician. Maybe the eye surgery and fake tan helped, but I can't imagine that this scenario is that uncommon.

[Dominic]

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katy
"I suppose this is a guy thing? There's no way banging a bunch of random men would boost a girl's self esteem. If anything, I'd think it would have the opposite effect."

again this has nothing to do with a girls self esteem. its simply because girls dont enjoy sex as much as guys because most guys are bad at sex and so its not very pleasing for a girl. if every guy had to take a "how to give a woman a trigasm" class in school i gurantee girls would be trying to "bang random guys" a helluva lot more.

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Ok now you've got me sitting here trying to visualize this scenario. Initially I was thinking - who wants to have sex with complete and total strangers? That's just gross. But now you have me contemplating if it would not be fun, provided that my total stranger was kind of cute and super good at sex and pleasing a woman. Hmm.

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whats gross about it? you make it sound dirty. can i have a scale of what you consider total strangers to friends?

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only if you're doing it right

[fsista]

It's really a good book. It's not a manual, but it makes people like me realize that you shouldn't treat women like they are more worth than you yourself are, because that will make them disinterested. It basicly made me realize that going up to a girl I really like and telling her that her hair looks fine is so much worse than going straight up to her and with a charming attitude ask her what the [censored] is wrong with her hair? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]-included..

It's not about making a fake attitude, it's more like showing yourself in your most attractive way. I always was cocky-funny to friends and I always like to be the center of attention, but whenever I used to try to get together with girls I liked I used to become more shy and really give them the attention instead of proving myself to them as the interesting fellow I really am.

The book changed my attitude and I feel incredibly more attractive, and I have lots of beautiful and smart women showing me their interest in me (which only happened with creepy chicks before, several girls actually has gone straight up to me and said stuff like "I really like you" "I really like your attitude" etc.).

I obviously don't fool around though, since my girlfriend wouldn't be pleased with that. But I found that the book helped me socialize better with girls.

[katyseagull]

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i meant what is a total stranger to you? if you meet someone who you like how many hours/dates/weeks (whatever timeline you want) would it take for you to consider them not to be a stranger anymore? this may be difficult to anwser as its a gradual thing but a rough idea.



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ifp,
this is a tricky question. I'm not exactly in a place where I think about this kind of thing anymore. I suppose in my past I would have answered "weeks". Like 4 weeks maybe, for me to not feel like we were strangers. I'm trying to picture how long it would have taken me to go home with the English guy who used to work at my company. God was he cool. I would say 3-4 weeks.

But anyway, as for what you said, chatting up a girl for an hour at a club would make her a "new acquaintance" which, in my mind, is still very much a stranger [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].

[ifoughtpiranhas]

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i meant what is a total stranger to you? if you meet someone who you like how many hours/dates/weeks (whatever timeline you want) would it take for you to consider them not to be a stranger anymore? this may be difficult to anwser as its a gradual thing but a rough idea.



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ifp,
this is a tricky question. I'm not exactly in a place where I think about this kind of thing anymore. I suppose in my past I would have answered "weeks". Like 4 weeks maybe, for me to not feel like we were strangers. I'm trying to picture how long it would have taken me to go home with the English guy who used to work at my company. God was he cool. I would say 3-4 weeks.

But anyway, as for what you said, chatting up a girl for an hour at a club would make her a "new acquaintance" which, in my mind, is still very much a stranger [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].

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u shuda asked him to marry you. guys dig that. yes but its not like your going to be giving this "new aquaintance" you bank details, more than likey you will just have sex and a good time, exchange numbers etc. etc. i dont think i have to know a girl well at all to do this. im trying to think if its a moral thing. maybe its just me and i have really low morals. thats worrying actually

[Phil153]

piranhas,

I think girls tend be a lot more cultured, cleaner and more knowable than guys are. You can tell fairly quickly what a girl is about. Guys on the other hand are dirty, selfish and scary (with apologies to diebitter).

As for "The Game", the whole premise of these books is that women are more like prey/pack animals than thoughtful, aware, independent humans. I think that's pretty much borne out by the success of these techniques. Two of the things I despise about women is their mindless subordination to instilled social norms and overvaluing of their own feelings, and I think "The Game" is a hilarious expose of those facets of female nature. Someone using basic psychological techniques shouldn't be able to get a woman to spread her legs and undertake the most intimate act possible with a random stranger, but they do.

BTW, I don't think such books are necessary. Simple observation of female emotion, combined with practice, is enough to perfect most of these techniques. Perhaps some of the concepts such as neg hits would be difficult to realize on your own, but those are douchebag tricks anyway and probably better left in the book.

[katyseagull]

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As for "The Game", the whole premise of these books is that women are more like prey/pack animals than thoughtful, aware, independent humans. I think that's pretty much borne out by the success of these techniques. Two of the things I despise about women is their mindless subordination to instilled social norms and overvaluing of their own feelings, and I think "The Game" is a hilarious expose of those facets of female nature.

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I agree that we quite often overvalue our feelings. I'm interested in this theory that women can be thought of as prey/pack animals. Aren't women as complex and varied as men? If you wouldn't mind, please give a couple specific examples of these "instilled social norms" you allude to.

[Jamougha]

katy,

I'm can imagine that the stuff works.

The system is much more than confidence and setting yourself as 'the prize'; it's more like turning seduction into a performance, like a stand up comedy act. It has stages - first break the ice, create attraction via entertaining conversation and alpha male behaviour, then move on to romantic talk/actions etc. Also much of the conversation is loosely scripted beforehand with a series of questions, anecdotes, personality inventories, magic tricks etc. Even the makeout session on his bed has a script with backup plans if the girl is unsure.

The book does get heavily into the line between being real and putting on an act.


piranhas,

Even if women were guaranteed the same pleasure from sex as men I doubt they would be as keen. Desire is regulated hormonally , and women just have less of the hormones that stimulate it.

Also pleasure is not the same as happiness.