Turning 35, or Starting the Back 9

[Blarg]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.


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You misunderstood. The comments I made were general and about human nature, and not directed to bogey at all.

[daveT]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



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Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

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Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


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Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

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I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

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You are not alone.

[Blarg]

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Wow. This family discussion went weird in the last few posts. FWIW, I don't perceive any threatened tone in bogey1's post. He simply states that he enjoys his family.



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Didn't perceive it either. I think that the general sense of some of the posts was about why KT's post states this about his family. It seems like many people don't understand his thinking, and others, in turn, don't understand the counter-thinking. I think that Bogey probably has a balanced view of this issue.

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Appreciating family doesn't mean you put it on a pedestal above all else, or don't understand that some people have to cut all ties because of the evil in their bloodlines. Please! Where is this coming from?


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Some things are better left untold. But if you have an imagination......

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I probably delete about 50% of what I start to write in the lounge.

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You are not alone.

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This is all reminiscent of OP's third point, which goes to prove it right:

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3. Other people are always problematic. That's not to say that I've evolved a Sartrian view of the Other, but the flawed nature of communication is the source of most daily stress. No matter how precisely I explain myself, the explanation is dependent on the receiver of the message.


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[gusmahler]

Great post! I turned 35 last year and know what you're going through.

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4. My family doesn't know me and that's okay. Eight years separate my closest sibling and me, with 14 years between me and my oldest sibling. We have little in common other than bloodline. I was in college while they were starting families. I was in grad school when our father died. They had their built-in support systems and I did not. I began my career, got married, bought a house, changed jobs several times, and even though I live one block away from my sister, not one person in my family knows my interests, skills, or even what I do for a living. Last Thanksgiving, one of my sisters asked how my "little job" was going. Fine, I guess, if you consider managing a $2 billion product line little.

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Meh. Family is overrated. I can say the exact same thing. My sister, brother, and mother don't know me at all. And it's not the big a deal.

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5. Work ain't all that. I was a maniac in my 20's, working insane hours, eager to impress, rarely taking time off. Now I'm a believer in maxing out vacation and sick time. My wife and I are playing hooky tomorrow to go hiking, have a nice lunch, and maybe head to the local art museum in the afternoon. I take my birthday off every year now, and you should too. For the most part, we're all cogs in the wheel. Nothing of what the majority of us do amounts to much. What matters is our own experiences. Bag in sick and enjoy life!

[/ QUOTE ]Completely agree. Work sucks. Make your money and go home.

[SoloAJ]

NHLNut, Most of my long posts take a while because I want to articulate my thoughts as clearly as possible. However, some of them go quick if I'm just rifling out the words.


Okay, onto my question. This could probably be a thread of its own, but this thread should serve as well.

All right all you old people*, I have a question. You all talk about how the person you were at 21 is so different than who you are now (Fish, lookin at you in particular, but others please respond)...

I like going on vacations once or twice a year that probably run me $400-600. I thoroughly enjoy them for the relaxation and the travel aspects. I am not at all a partier (I don't even drink alcohol). In some ways, I feel like it is an amazing thing that I should do while I have the free and clear opportunity. At the same time, I'm a college student with $20,000 of debt (and growing to ~25k by the time I graduate).

I was just wondering if you guys think that I will regret having taken these vacations that may make it tougher on me in the next couple years financially, or if you think that it is generally a good idea since I so thoroughly enjoy it?

(FWIW, I have about $11,000 cash to my name and my parents 'may' be helping out with my loan debt....so it isn't like these vacations strap me for cash at the moment).


*I hope by now I've expressed that one of my greatest respects is for my elders and that I value life experience wayyyy more than your average person, so I just mean this in jest. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[hyde]

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All right all you old people*,

I like going on vacations once or twice a year that probably run me $400-600. I thoroughly enjoy them for the relaxation and the travel aspects.

I was just wondering if you guys think that I will regret having taken these vacations that may make it tougher on me in the next couple years financially, or if you think that it is generally a good idea since I so thoroughly enjoy it?

(FWIW, I have about $11,000 cash to my name and my parents 'may' be helping out with my loan debt....so it isn't like these vacations strap me for cash at the moment).


*I hope by now I've expressed that one of my greatest respects is for my elders and that I value life experience wayyyy more than your average person, so I just mean this in jest. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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This old person thinks you should take more vacations. Your style of travel is frugal, you are in fine financial shape, the few extra dollars a year will hardly make a difference on your after graduation debt level. Go!

[Blarg]

A few thousand is trivial over the course of a lifetime, but fun memories are pretty good at the time and to look back on later. Don't mess yourself up long term for fun, but if having a little fun means you later have to have a tight belt for a while, it's not the worst thing in the world. Heck,it's even kind of poetic.

Might be harder to get the parents to help you with your debt when it's not school-related though. Be sure they know you appreciate what they're doing and you're not just taking it as a license to blow cash.

[katyseagull]

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This old person thinks you should take more vacations. Your style of travel is frugal, you are in fine financial shape, the few extra dollars a year will hardly make a difference on your after graduation debt level. Go!

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I agree. Take the vacations Solo and go have some fun in your life. You will never regret it.

[SoloAJ]

Thanks gents and lady. I assumed that was the general sentiment and it's a big reason I can get over my frugality and say "screw it, I'm goin."

I'm not taking tons of wasteful trips or anything, but I mean my mom loves Vegas and so do I. This upcoming May will be the 3rd time in a little over 2 years that we've gone together. I teeter on spending the cash because it will "in theory" put me in that tight belt spot later on, but in the end I think of how people tend to say they wished they'd done more when they were younger.

Blarg, I have great parents. While my mother can't help me financially, my father and stepmother can. They know I'm responsible with my money and I'm pretty sure they would never consider me to be someone to blow money. They have tried to sort of leave me mostly independent, which is probably PART of the reason they're not helping me with money stuff too much. That said, I don't think that me vacationing will affect their view of how I spend money. They both know I'm pretty cheap because I won't even let my stepmother buy me new clothes unless they're on sale. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I definitely appreciate the feedback hyde, Blarg and katy.

[Fishwhenican]

Old People, Elders. You're makin me feel real good here! Now I am going to have to go out and get some of that hair coloring stuff to take the grey out of my beard! [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I would encourage taking vacations because as you get older and have more responsabilities it is harder to do some of those things. Well, actually it was always hard for me. It is one of the things I wish I had done more of when I was younger. But I was too busy working, going to school, working, getting married, working, having a kids, working getting divorced, working more and paying child support, getting married, working more and going to school again, having more kids and working even more. All right you get the idea.

As to how much I am different now than I was at 21 goes... When I was younger I was playing in bands, having fun partying all the while working my ass off still. Life was more about just me then about caring about other people. Now, ,y life is more about other people. everyone else seems to come before me and while I do not really mind that it does wear on a person sometimes. I am far more laid back then I ever was when I was young. I drink a hell of a lot less. I find myself saying things and doing things that make me realize that even though I never thought it would happen I turned into my Dad!