Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work

[theTourne]

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You are the problem. What are you, a tease?

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Agreed that getting drunk and kissing her was a poor choice.

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Only meet her alone if you really want to bang her. In all other cases (esp. at work), make sure that someone is around who can act as a witness (i.e. not her best friend).


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Yeah, by "alone" I was referring to benign workplace activities. Lunch, elevator, occasional work dinner... that's really all I can think of.

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And is there any Brazilian that you'd make out with in a club but not bang?!? WTF, seriously!

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Probably a valid question. Again I'll say it was a poor choice.

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so let me look at this, she wanted to [censored] you and you turned her down, then u get pissed when she gets mad at you

rejecting a girl really makes her feel good.


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???

Gets mad at him? She's telling people, distraught, that he [censored] her. Is that what most rational women do when they get mad at a guy?

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Right, it's inventing crazy stories to tell co-workers that's the issue.

[theTourne]

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Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

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Good advice.

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One of my friends is strongly in favor of this option. I can't decide if it is necessary.

[Freakin]

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Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

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Good advice.

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One of my friends is strongly in favor of this option. I can't decide if it is necessary.

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It's not necessary, but it's crazy not to.

What are the drawbacks of doing this (assuming this is a professional workplace and whomever you tell is going to maintain confidentiality)?

Now what are the drawbacks if she claims you sexually harassed her and you have no evidence (or documentation) to the contrary?

[Uncle Wimp]

Something similar happened to me years ago. A girls told people she and I had sex, which never happened. I told two people that she was lying, neither of them higher-ups. I'll never know how many people heard her story, though this girl had a reputation for being a pahtological liar and a nut, like the girl in your story.
You're caught in limbo, like I was. If her story never spreads, or is never believed by those who hear it, you're best to let it drop. Telling your side of the story to management may spread the news to those who would never have heard it otherwise, and you run the risk of having your reputation diminished in the eyes of someone who has a say in your career. (That you're moving on to another job and that this takes place in another country lessens the impact, though.)
On the other hand, do nothing and you run the risk of a whispering campaign starting behind your back. People will look at your silence as a sign of guilt. If she really wants to screw you, she could.
My advice is be nice to her, so she is less likely to go out of her way to stab you in the back. Just as in poker, it's better to keep your hand secret, and don't let her know you are pissed.
In my situation, I did nothing, and nothing ever came of it that I know about.

[gumpzilla]

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Now what are the drawbacks if she claims you sexually harassed her and you have no evidence (or documentation) to the contrary?

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Would the preliminary strike like this look good/be of any use as supporting evidence? I mean, it's ultimately still he said/she said, isn't it? I would think sharing details of your sex life with your superiors would look weird enough that doing it before a threatened suit would be kind of suspicious looking.

[Sponger.]

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Apparently she also claims that she was in my hotel room one morning when someone from the office called me to set up a taxi ride and heard a female voice (it was the maid).

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Wait am I reading this correctly? When you were in your hotel room someone called from the office, in the background they heard a female voice that was actually the maid, yet somehow she convinced the person on the other line that it was actually her there?

This sounds really, really sinister.

[theTourne]

Uncle W, interesting comments. Thanks

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Apparently she also claims that she was in my hotel room one morning when someone from the office called me to set up a taxi ride and heard a female voice (it was the maid).

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Wait am I reading this correctly? When you were in your hotel room someone called from the office, in the background they heard a female voice that was actually the maid, yet somehow she convinced the person on the other line that it was actually her there?

This sounds really, really sinister.

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Almost correct. I spoke with A on the phone. A had mentioned the voice to a couple of people, including B. Crazy girl told B that it had been her voice.

[Stan Loh]

I think the lesson here is, always take things further when given the opportunity.