Ask My Neighbor about being a Ninja.

[bawcerelli]

ask him if he wishes he could go back and change it all, be a farmer or something mundane, or if being a lifelong ninja was satisfying.

[Genz]

Did he ever consider becoming a professional hide&seek player?
Would he ever consider wearing brown shoes to his black outfit? Does daytime matter here?
How does he battle the challenges that today's DNS-analysis as evidence in crimes presents to his methods of killing?
Did he ever watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Which is his favorite one? What could he learn from the show?

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
I so badly want this to be real. I want this to be real the way I wanted Santa Clause to be real.

SpaceAce

[/ QUOTE ]

Jingle bells. Going up later on. TR to follow.

[elus2]

top notch work adsman.

[Borgland]

What types of poison did he use?

[Genz]

I hope you still get to ask him this:

Would he stalk this pole vaulter girl for us, take hawt pictures, kill her boyfriend if one exists or would he bow her to his bo himself without us getting anything out of it?

Does he have mad skills in MSPaint to explain to us some of his dirtiest jobs?

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you still get to ask him this:

Would he stalk this pole vaulter girl for us, take hawt pictures, kill her boyfriend if one exists or would he bow her to his bo himself without us getting anything out of it?

Does he have mad skills in MSPaint to explain to us some of his dirtiest jobs?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll take up her photo. Not sure about the MS paint thing to be honest.

[Steven_Q_Erkel]

Can you ask him if he'd be willing to take on a student? I'm looking for something to do this summer and ninja is right up my alley.

[adsman]

Eddie was in his garden weeding his beans.

Eddie: Is that San Miguel?

Me: Yeah, I got you a couple of six packs.

Eddie: Great. Italian beer is revolting. There might be hope for you. What do you think of my beans?

Me: They're nice, I suppose. What are you holding them up with? Spears?

Eddie: No, just regular old poles. You got some more questions from these OOT people. I checked out that site, you know.

Me: You did? You've got internet access?

Eddie: Sure, why not? What do you think I am, some bumbling hobo? I didn't know it was a poker site. Do you play poker?

Me: Yeah. So are you the Eddietheninja gimmick account?

Eddie: No.

Me: What did you think of OOT?

Eddie: Well, I discovered Jessica Alba, so that was good. Not sure that I care much about a horse giving birth, but whatever.

Me: It's been a bit rough lately. I've got a question of my own. Would you be willing to take me on as a ninja student?

Eddie: Well, you'd have to change a few things about yourself.

Me: Like what?

Eddie: Well, your DNA for one thing.

Me: I'm not ninja material?

Eddie: Not even close.

Me: So what is ninja material?

Eddie: Not you, and not any of the people in OOT. Except maybe the one with a lot of problems, I wrote his name down here somewhere. Yeah, Anacardo. He sounds like he might be ninja material. But probably not.

Me: Well, that's a bit disapointing. Have you ever performed any hits for the mafia, Sicilians, those sort of people?

Eddie: No.

Me: Do you work in a team or solo?

Eddie: Solo.

Me: What's the best way for somebody to become a ninja?

Eddie: You just have to be in the right place at the right time. Honestly, today it has all been driven very far underground. It's not like it used to be. The post war period in Japan was very chaotic. I was lucky to have been born in that time period.

Me: How many years of training does it take to become a good ninja?

Eddie: 18 years. One for each discipline.

Me: How much does it cost to hire a ninja?

Eddie: Depends what you pay us in. I like gold bars.

Me: Gold bars then? How much?

Eddie: More than you'll ever have.

Me: Could ninjas break into....?

Eddie: (Interrupting me), Yes.

Me: Want to tell us how? No? OK, Care to share any stories about your most interesting jobs?

Eddie: No, that would not be appropriate.

Me: Can you tell us one thing that only a ninja would know to prove that you are in fact a ninja?

Eddie: (laughs). That's pretty funny considering that you wouldn't know if it was pertinant or not. However, let me throw this tidbit out for you all. The Kennedy family curse? That's no curse. Ninjas. Joseph really made a mistake in there somewhere.

Me: Cool. What was it like when you killed your first person?

Eddie: Messy, really messy. By the way, I've got the answer for the how many 5 year olds question. 263.

Me: How did you get that number?

Eddie. I couldn't possibly explain, but it was very interesting, you know why? Kids don't have fear the way adults do. They also aren't as aware of their own mortality. Very interesting.

Me: And if it was 50 year olds instead of five year olds?

Eddie, Oh, much, much more. No problem.

Me: Who actually employs ninjas?

Eddie: Very desperate people. There is a price to pay in the end for all of us.

Me: OK ..... that was cryptic. Ever used, "I'm a ninja" pick up line?

Eddie: No. I'm married anyway.

Me: Really. Is your wife here?

Eddie: No, she's away. I married when I retired, or perhaps it would be more correct to say that I retired when I married.

Me: Anything you regret not doing?

Eddie: I had a chance to meet Miles Davis once but I was unable to in the end. I regret that.

Me: How do you explain your ninja suit to the drycleaner?

Eddie: I wash it myself.

Me: How old were you when you got your first kill?

Eddie: I was in my thirties. Training takes a long time you know.

Me: What do you think of this girl?

Eddie: Nice, I like pole vaulters. Hang on, (He goes into his house and comes out a few minutes later with a copy of the Italian sports newspaper, lo gazzeto dello sport.) Look, her picture was in here yesterday. Same picture.

Me: Wow. I can't believe this. You know, it was because of forums like ours that this happened.

Eddie: Yeah, you can all be really proud of yourselves.

Me: Um, OK. I think that's about it. There were some more but I might leave those out.

Eddie: No, no. Ask away.

Me: Did you ever consider becoming a professional hide and seek player?

Eddie: Actually, you know what, I'm going to trust your judgement on this one. That's enough questions. I'm going away for the weekend. And by the way, you still haven't paid last months rent.

Me: You're my landlord?

Eddie: You're not quick, are you? My sisters house? I hope you're keeping it clean.

Me: Yeah, very clean.

Eddie: I'll bet.

[KMac4]

[ QUOTE ]
Eddie: And by the way, you still haven't paid last months rent.

Me: You're my landlord?

Eddie: You're not quick, are you? My sisters house? I hope you're keeping it clean.

Me: Yeah, very clean.

Eddie: I'll bet.

[/ QUOTE ]

Eddie sounds awesome.