Her parents disapprove, what's your play?

[C-Dog]

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What is there to understand. Fact is if what her parents think is more important to her than what she thinks, and her love for you, than you need to walk away sooner rather than later.

C-Dog

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Just about the dumbest thing anyone can possibly say. And multiple people have said it...

No one really suggested that she cared more about what the parents thought than about him, and obv he doesn't want to run - otherwise, he wouldn't be asking for help.

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Tell them that while you understand why they approach you with trepidation, that IT'S OK, even though you and your parents are 10x more educated than them YOU DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON THEM. It's ok that some people choose to waste their whole lives making widgets (or even standing and watching while other people make the widgets), that's their choice and neither you nor your parents are judging. Pat him on the back and ask him how goes the family business.

Seriously, I don't have much to add, just do what you think works and hope for the best. Decent chance they'll like you better if you can figure out a way to meet. Good luck dude.

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QFT

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I don't see how it so dumb, He said that she is distraught and he didn't know what would happen if he couldn't "win" them over. If the relationship was so strong, she wouldn't be that distraught, and they would both know exactly what would happen whether or not the parents come around.

I am not saying to leave no matter what, but if the relationship is on shaky ground due to something you have no control over, how can ending it not be a viable alternative.

C-Dog

[The DaveR]

OP, Date white girls.

Astro, Congratulations.

[Felix_Nietzsche]

......they will accept you after the first or second grandchild...

[Hitchhiker]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What is there to understand. Fact is if what her parents think is more important to her than what she thinks, and her love for you, than you need to walk away sooner rather than later.

C-Dog

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Just about the dumbest thing anyone can possibly say. And multiple people have said it...

No one really suggested that she cared more about what the parents thought than about him, and obv he doesn't want to run - otherwise, he wouldn't be asking for help.

[ QUOTE ]
Tell them that while you understand why they approach you with trepidation, that IT'S OK, even though you and your parents are 10x more educated than them YOU DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON THEM. It's ok that some people choose to waste their whole lives making widgets (or even standing and watching while other people make the widgets), that's their choice and neither you nor your parents are judging. Pat him on the back and ask him how goes the family business.

Seriously, I don't have much to add, just do what you think works and hope for the best. Decent chance they'll like you better if you can figure out a way to meet. Good luck dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't see how it so dumb, He said that she is distraught and he didn't know what would happen if he couldn't "win" them over. If the relationship was so strong, she wouldn't be that distraught, and they would both know exactly what would happen whether or not the parents come around.

I am not saying to leave no matter what, but if the relationship is on shaky ground due to something you have no control over, how can ending it not be a viable alternative.

C-Dog

[/ QUOTE ]

"she is distraught" != "what her parents think is more important to her than what she thinks, and her love for you". There is a solution here with the end result being not running away, and i think it's dumb that so many people are saying to cut and run, when nothing can be lost by trying.

[Aloysius]

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OP, Date white girls.

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Realize this is a joke (and sorry for the potential hijack Burning), but thought this might be a good thread to ask - if you're Asian-American, do you have a preference for marrying another Asian? If so does it have to be same Asian?

Of the girls I've seriously dated, 2 were white, and 2 were Asian (I'm Korean). As I get older (I'm 30) I am starting to prefer Asian women more for a variety of reasons (cultural similarities, pride in heritage, they age better than white woman etc.). But if I had a white wife, there is a very good chance we would have beautiful children [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] So I'm torn... but seriously any thoughts on this?

And the whole "who cares, if you like her what does it matter which race she is" camp... I'm generally in agreement with you, but I'm talking preferences all other things being equal.

-Al

[DrewDevil]

You are the same race as their daughter, you are an Ivy league-educated lawyer, and your parents are a professor and a doctor.

I don't really understand why you aren't her parents' wet dream. Why do they not approve, for God's sake? I mean seriously, could it really be the money? You have to be hugely wealthy to qualify?

This is beyond retarded.

And who on God's green earth would they approve of? I think you might be dealing with a case of "no one's good enough for my little girl." Or, they have someone else already picked out--a billionaire Korean astronaut or something? Otherwise, this really makes no sense.

I dated a girl in college who was of Greek ancestry, and her parents were insistent that she only date/marry Greek boys. There were four Greek boys at my school, and she didn't want to date any of them. Parents didn't care, they just wanted her not to date until after college.

That was weird. This is much, much weirder.

[fish2plus2]

after 7 years with you, would another dude with similar traditional ideology still accept her?

[skunkworks]

Al,

You need to [censored] as many white girls as possible to prove once and for all that Asian men are ironically not to be [censored] with. That'll teach them to emasculate us.

On a more serious note, I can't wait to hit your advanced age where I have to worry about whether I should marry Korean or not. Until then, I'm going to enjoy getting turned down by women of all colors.

[The DaveR]

Al, I have no preference but I haven't had an Asian gf since college.

[fish2plus2]

"I don't really understand why you aren't her parents' wet dream."

Her Dad is a CEO. His wet dream of a step son would be making comfortable 7 figures. Buttom line is that many Asian parents dont want their kids marrying down.