Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions

[Utah]

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Why do guys always claim they want to settle down with nice girls and then go to bars and parties and flirt with the loud, wild chicks? Explain that to me.

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Because what someone's logic tells them to do and what someone's natural instincts tell them to do are often too completely different things. The instinctual side usually wins. It is why something like half of kids in abstinence have sex and why the government just wasted $1 billion on abstinence programs that were found to have exactly zero affect on kids. I am sure there were masses of young women and men who told themselves to wait because it was best for them (like finding the nice girl to settle down with is a logical choice). Yet, the body just takes over and you are along for the ride. So, the nice girl is the smart play but the wild chick at the bar is far more attractive and men can't help themselves tripping over each other to get to her. imho

[katyseagull]

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but the wild chick at the bar is far more attractive and men can't help themselves tripping over each other to get to her.

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Is there any possible way you could rephrase this, maybe soften it up just a little? I'm starting to feel a tad insecure.

[Sniper]

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Katy:

Guys also want to get laid.

Edited in bold to be fair.

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VR, are you suggesting that girls don't also want to get laid?

[Utah]

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but the wild chick at the bar is far more attractive and men can't help themselves tripping over each other to get to her.

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Is there any possible way you could rephrase this, maybe soften it up just a little? I'm starting to feel a tad insecure.

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Let me try again [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

The wild chick, while not nearly as awesome as the nice girl, can occasionally portray an image that a few men will find moderately enticing when the far more attractive nice girl isn't around.

[Sniper]

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but the wild chick at the bar is far more attractive and men can't help themselves tripping over each other to get to her.

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Is there any possible way you could rephrase this, maybe soften it up just a little? I'm starting to feel a tad insecure.

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katy, would you descibe yourself as the attractive shy girl, not having much fun at the bar?

[katyseagull]

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There is nothing illogical about this. They want two different kinds of girls for two entirely different purposes. Also, keep in mind that the loud, wild girls are often easier to talk to and sometimes even friendlier than the ones you've been waiting to find for a long time so you can settle down and have them meet your mother.


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Ok, i can accept this. But all i'm asking is that guys be straight up with girls and not feed us a load of crap.

Like try to not string us along pretending you prefer quiet, introverted girls when really what it appears that you want is the loud chain smoking flirt with the fake tan at the corner bar.

Just say it like it is! "hey, what I really prefer is wild slutty chicks like Amy but since she won't actually give me the time of day I'm just gonna hang out here with you so I'm not lonely. But yeah don't think for a moment that I actually prefer quiet introverts cuz, you know, I don't."

If you told us up front we wouldn't be so confused [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[katyseagull]

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Let me try again [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

The wild chick, while not nearly as awesome as the nice girl, can occasionally portray an image that a few men will find moderately enticing when the far more attractive nice girl isn't around.

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Very nice [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

Well, hypocrisy isn't the same thing as having a preference. Plus, not everyone likes the loud girl, and even those that do, don't prefer them always. Lots of girls aren't loud but fun, they're just loud. And lots of quiet girls are much more fun to talk to, if only they'd talk.

Frankly I think a lot of the time guys just know that they're better off with women who find them attractive in the first place. The girl actively mingling and having fun is more likely to look back instead of away. And then boom, there you go. You've got something to work with and you're off to the races. Guys meeting girls in a bar are probably not looking to get into a big ordeal just to meet someone. Men learn to be as tough as they can muster, but nobody truly likes rejection. After initiating, guys like to get an idea if they're getting somewhere or not, or at least to have fun regardless. If a girl is too quiet, often guys figure they're being rejected and just move onto greener pastures. A woman wondering why a guy isn't more persistent is often just one who made herself too hard to know, so the guy moved on. Rejection is too ordinary an event for guys to invest a ton of time into one girl if it looks like it's going nowhere. The quiet ones can make it look like that.

[Shadowrun]

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Well, hypocrisy isn't the same thing as having a preference. Plus, not everyone likes the loud girl, and even those that do, don't prefer them always. Lots of girls aren't loud but fun, they're just loud. And lots of quiet girls are much more fun to talk to, if only they'd talk.

Frankly I think a lot of the time guys just know that they're better off with women who find them attractive in the first place. The girl actively mingling and having fun is more likely to look back instead of away. And then boom, there you go. You've got something to work with and you're off to the races. Guys meeting girls in a bar are probably not looking to get into a big ordeal just to meet someone. Men learn to be as tough as they can muster, but nobody truly likes rejection. After initiating, guys like to get an idea if they're getting somewhere or not, or at least to have fun regardless. If a girl is too quiet, often guys figure they're being rejected and just move onto greener pastures. A woman wondering why a guy isn't more persistent is often just one who made herself too hard to know, so the guy moved on. Rejection is too ordinary an event for guys to invest a ton of time into one girl if it looks like it's going nowhere. The quiet ones can make it look like that.

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if a girl isnt being responsive/very quiet i chalk up to not feeling me rather than being shy.

[katyseagull]

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If a girl is too quiet, often guys figure they're being rejected and just move onto greener pastures. A woman wondering why a guy isn't more persistent is often just one who made herself too hard to know, so the guy moved on. Rejection is too ordinary an event for guys to invest a ton of time into one girl if it looks like it's going nowhere. The quiet ones can make it look like that.

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Nice post. I see your point.