30 and living at home - Page 6

Number7 · #51 10-01-2007, 03:47 PM

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I think it's not looked down upon in other countries as much as in the US.

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True
It is very common in Europe and is pretty much the norm in most of Asia that people don't move out until they get married.

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When you talk about Europe, you have to know that its very different from one country to the next, different cultures in different countries.
In general its more common in UK and the southern and eastern countries, than it is in Scandinavia where i come from.
Here no matter if you go to school or work, as soon as you are not a teenager, you are basicly considered a "looser" if you live at home (esp. being a guy).
You need to rent a place alone, or maybe with someone else, thats not the issue, but you have to get out of your parents home for sure.

In Asia its much more common that several generations live under the same roof.

Orlando Salazar · #52 10-01-2007, 03:57 PM

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I think it's not looked down upon in other countries as much as in the US.

[/ QUOTE ]

True
It is very common in Europe and is pretty much the norm in most of Asia that people don't move out until they get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

When you talk about Europe, you have to know that its very different from one country to the next, different cultures in different countries.
In general its more common in UK and the southern and eastern countries, than it is in Scandinavia where i come from.
Here no matter if you go to school or work, as soon as you are not a teenager, you are basicly considered a "looser" if you live at home (esp. being a guy).
You need to rent a place alone, or maybe with someone else, thats not the issue, but you have to get out of your parents home for sure.

In Asia its much more common that several generations live under the same roof.

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It's cause you Scandanavians don't have to pay for college.

Number7 · #53 10-01-2007, 04:07 PM

Might be a reason, but then again it put the demand that you NEED to follow the flow and get a place to live (overpriced or not) and a job to pay for it while study.

Just saying that its different from place to place, and Europe can`t be judged as one unit.

Ooh and SALAZARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

daveT · #54 10-01-2007, 06:28 PM

I lived on my own from 18, and never went back. I had no choice in the matter. Just about every roommate, ranging from 18 to 28, went back home. It is very hard to live on your own when you are 18.

The biggest problem is trying to find an apartment. There are not many places that will rent to an 18-year-old. When I had to find an apartment, I found a long-term hotel, made monthly installments on the deposit, and eventually got evicted.

I found a series of new roommates, but that didn't go too well. I ended up moving to a bad part of town when I was 20 years old. To maintain this, I was working one full-time job and one part-time job (seventy hours a week). Soon after, I found a roommate, a new job, and a girlfriend.

I don't see any real advantage to leaving home before you are ready, but I am also disturbed when people over-stay. There needs to be a point where the person has to be willing to go it alone and suffer the financial problems that come along with living alone. At some point, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make it.

There are ups and downs in life. I do not see how attempting to avoid them is helping anyone with their life.

Blarg · #55 10-01-2007, 06:40 PM

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Might be a reason, but then again it put the demand that you NEED to follow the flow and get a place to live (overpriced or not) and a job to pay for it while study.

Just saying that its different from place to place, and Europe can`t be judged as one unit.

Ooh and SALAZARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Not having to pay for school is pretty titanic in the scheme of things.

Blarg · #56 10-01-2007, 06:46 PM

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There are ups and downs in life. I do not see how attempting to avoid them is helping anyone with their life.

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That's true, but I think there are smoother and smarter ways to go about things. I'd hope that if I had a kid and for whatever reason it was time for him to move out, I wouldn't be so self-absorbed as to just be the kind of "Meh, so long, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya" type of parent. I've been frankly awestruck by parents I know who have taken active interests in their kids futures from a young age and done what I believe is their fair part in helping their kids get ready to live on their own. It's not like they're born knowing it or anything. And the kids I've seen this done for who have any ambition and intelligence at all have had an astounding edge on the competition. As have, actually, those who don't.

daveT · #57 10-01-2007, 09:00 PM

I agree with you Blarg. I personally think that children should be able to have a place to stay through college and a little after. But there needs to be a limitation.

People told me they were sort of envious of me that I didn't have the option of an easy way out. I disagree with them. I would gladly take the opportunity to stay at home for a lot longer than I did.

Blarg · #58 10-01-2007, 09:50 PM

I guess that shows that the grass is always greener.

I think there should be a limitation too, but that it should be a natural one, not an artificial one. Go when the time is right, especially since college is so expensive these days. I'd rather not have my kid come out of school with an $80,000 debt crippling her right away, especially if I wanted her to ever have her own home, which I would. If I could put up with a kid for a few more years so she wouldn't have to live like a dog, and could get herself established, that seems pretty reasonable to me. Besides, in families that expect to live together long-term, I wouldn't be surprised if people often take extra care to keep their relationships sound. If parents and kids both expect to be rid of each other soon, who cares? You can be rat bastards to each other and reap the rewards.

I really believe in the t*t for tat thing, and that the generations should take care of each other. That's the thing not being considered by a lot of westerners. Do you want to do the minimum for your kids so they'll do the minimum for you, too? After all, you will get old, even though vanity screams out that there's no way it could ever possibly happen to you. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have your kids wanting to keep you close so you could play with your grandkids and watch them grow up, and still feel like you have a family even if you're old? Especially if your spouse dies? I think being old is potentially pretty cool in a lot of ways, if you're close to your family. But if you can't be bothered doing more than the minimum for them, what can you expect but the fate of so many other Americans -- being put in a home and ignored. That seems so sad, and so perfectly just. I just wouldn't want to live by the sword/die by the sword that way.

Bork · #59 10-02-2007, 05:24 AM

There is of course the very real possibility that you do everything you can to help your kids get launched, and then when you are old they do zilch for you.

I think this bears heavily on the behavior of some parents. Might be for lack of desire or lack of ability, but either way I think kids are a very poor investment, neglecting intangible rewards.

4drugmoney · #60 10-02-2007, 06:24 AM

I moved out on my own at 17. I can only imagine all the money I could have saved if I had lived with my parents until I was 21. Im 24 now, and financially secure, but God I still dream of how big my savings/IRA would be if I had lived with my parents for 4 more years.