Lol Hellmuthaments

[Daliman]

[ QUOTE ]


quote "FWIW, I was actually impressed by his tournament game"

I'm sure that means a lot to him. How many bracelets do you have?

[/ QUOTE ]
ZJ has never lost a single WSOP bracelet event.

Such stupidity...

Anyways, good story, ZJ.

[antisocialgrace]

Yeah- wasn't kidding. Stop posting crap in this thread -Dids

[jalexand42]

WTF is the matter with you?

Please ban.

[7n7]

deleted 'cause it was giant - Dids

[certifiable]

this blog has some sweet parts, editied repost:

So uhhh… it seems like so long ago, I cant remember all this shizzle… hellmuth opened to 200 from the hi jack and I mad it 800 with J8o obv cause I knew he had like exactly A2-A7. he insta mucked, was first hand I played against him. hes such a donk. I know how he plays so well, the reasoning behind his bets and his bet sizing, the way he slowplays hands. I have him owned.

Anyway he keeps asking me to move my chair over so he can have more space. After the break he comes back, asks me to move and says something like "what, are you trying to move my seat when I get up?" so I replied "phil, theres no seat in this room id rather you be in" that was the start of it. He replies "oh yeah buddy? You wanna get into it? Youre playing way too many pots, raising way too many hands and are trying to give your money away. I play against 100 kids like you every day, its just not often one of them mouths back like you." Then he made some comment about him when he was my age and I said "phil I know that I have a [censored] more money than you did when you were my age" and he says "atleast I had respect for the great players".

He played awful in levels 2 and 3. hellmuth opens to 300 utg1, button calls. Flop comes 10c9c3x hellmuth checks 1010 the button bets 600 hellmuth calls. The turn is 4x hellmuth checks again and the button bets 1k. hellmuth calls again (lol). The river comes the Kc and hellmuth now leads for 600 (lol) and the button makes it 3600 and he calls (lol) button has AcQc… nuttterssss baby. Hellmuth blows up about how unlucky he is and how he had the guy trapped and how bad the kid played his hand (lol).

Then hellmuth limps utg with AcKc for 100, 4 callers behind and the flop is Ah6h2c, bb bets 400 hellmuth calls all fold. Tun Kh check check. River 3x and bb bets 2k into him and he calls. Bb has 4h5h and hellmuth flips again about how bad they are and how they never miss a bet with their draws and how unlucky he is to get two flushes hit on him! OMG! No way! At about 100-200 I slowed down significantly. I lot a decent pot when I bluff RAISED 3 streets against a superdonk who kept leading into me for 1/5th pot and got down to like 12k. Hellmuth would not shut up about how much I was raising.

I started playing relatively tight and mostly straight forward and he picked up the aggression and all he can talk about is how im raising every single hand and how hes gonna trap me and ima stack of to him. I pretty much just kept saying "phil, how am I going to stack off to you when you play your hands with your cards basically face up everyhand" (his bets were really that transparent)he kept going on about how im 20 years old and no young guys have any patience, cant play poker correctly, they think pokers just about outplaying people every hand (lol?) they end up getting all in drawing dead.

Hellmuth opens to 800 from the hijack, I make it 2200 with Jqo, he folds like a little girl. Gave a mini speech and showed the As. Obviously I show him. He continues on about how awful I am and how hes going to slow play me and get all the money in with me drawing dead. He tells me it was awful to show because he got a free read on me and that he picked up something important and how hes going to 4 bet shove on me with nothing soon cause hell know imweak. He continues to berate me for raising everyand (which is really quite absurd because im raising maybe 3 times an orbit now. I was very cold with cards and spots).

I didn't say anything for like 15 minutes and eventually we play a limped bvb where I get him to check raise me one the turn and call a river bet with 4th pair because I knew exactly that the "tell" he picked up in the QJ hand was that I cut my chips into 2 stacks of 2red chips and 2 grey 100 chips on top instead of splashing them in 1 pile like id done every other hand, so obviously I use that here with top pair and he gives me a couple thousand like a monkey.

In the 150-300 level this guy who clearly'd never played a poker tournament before limped (he kept limping big ace and getting to showdown) so I limped behind with 35s and there were a couple other limpers. The flop came 10h 3h 3c and the sb led for 500, this donk I jut talked about called and I popped it to 1700. the sb was the guy who weak led and called for 3 streets earlier with garbage. He folds. Now the Japanese donk calls. Turn comes the Js. He bets 9500, leaving himself 500 behind. Im like wtf? But hes terrible and I know that if I shove, hes going to flip over his cards immediately and Id thought his hand would be declared dead regardless. Jimmie moves allin. Asian man flips over the AhJh. As expected, donk man does not wait to put in his last 500. [censored]. Anyway they don't call it dead but I hold and win.

Up to like 25000 and somehow I lose like 9k?!?! I don't remember how, bunch of people restealing on me pf and. I got downto 16 or 17. I goaded phil a couple times, like a guy check raised him and he tanked and then folded and I announced to the 20 people watching our table that phil was the weak tightest player alive and that he would've folded any hand but top set there. Without any detail for you hoes, in a pot where hellmuth opened pf from hijack and I cc from button the board came 6d 5d 8d 6c 2d and he bet into me on the river, and I called and scooped against his QcJc. He told me how he makes a living off people making horrible calls like that. Hellmuth still wont let up on me about how im raising nonstop and whatever so eventually he gets under my skin and I yell at him "look phil, its sad that ive been about 3 levels ahead of you in every hand today. Youre just sitting there talking and talking about how I am raising every single hand because you are raising every hand and you want all the players at the table to focus on me and not notice that its really you whos raising every hand. And you keep telling me how youre going to stack me with two aces because you want me to stop reraising you, because you know that its optimal strategy against people who play like you." He doesn't really say much…

Hellmuth is raising most pots, guy opens to 900utg hellmuth makes it 2k utg1 guy shoves and hellmuth does his insta call thingy with two kings. Guy has two aces. The guy had earlier rr a button raise with QQ and then folded face up to the button 4 bet from this ultra spewy Russian donk. next hand after the aa kk hellmuth opens to 800 utg mp calls bb calls. Flop is AA4 bb leads 1200 hellmuth calls. Turn 8 bb checks hellmuth bets 1200 (lol) bb calls. River 3 bb bets 6k to put hellmuth all in. hellmuth stands up, puts his jacket on, thinks 30 seconds and calls (lol). He scoops obv against AQ. I say "just pretend like those two hands didn't happen, youre even" he says "yeah atleast you got to see me do one of my patented allin calls" I say "phil, you shouldve studied with the KK and insta called the 88" he flips at me. Tells me to let him know when I open my poker school. Says im ridiculous. Hes a donk. we go on break. We come back from break. Phil extends his hand, and says he needs to apologize to me, he was too hard on me and rude. Was classy. I played pretty straightforward through 150-300 50… im so tired… I won a whole bunch of pots idont remember how but I got my stack up to like 35k before the level. I folded everyting and got down to 30k. at the start of 200-400 50 I won like 3 pots in a row.

[aejones]

certifiable, thanks for editing. It's written like extremely quicky at about 6AM I think, and I Remember it being a great read when he wrote it. Looks much better in paragraphs. In the future, I'll tell him to hit enter every once in a while.

[Hendricks433]

[ QUOTE ]
certifiable, thanks for editing. It's written like extremely quicky at about 6AM I think, and I Remember it being a great read when he wrote it. Looks much better in paragraphs. In the future, I'll tell him to hit enter every once in a while.


[/ QUOTE ] Much much better. Very good read. Hellmuth is a total idiot. I really want to play a live tourney just to have a chance to sit at his table.

[7n7]

Thanks Cert! I wear contacts now, but thanks for the edit.

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[prohornblower]

This has been one of the most memorable days of my life. I'm just upset that its been such a long day that I am not going to be able to remember everything or be able to repeat it just as it happened. I apologize to everyone who doesn't really understand in depth poker strategy, but ima have to throw some of that in here. Ummmm… the tourney started at 2pm today and my table draw was unbelievable. Everyone was terrible. we started play with an empty 3 5 and 10 seat. This made me a little nervous, because in general the later you show up the better you are and id been having nightmares

This is literally as far as I got before giving up. I don't want to damage my vision by subjecting my eyeballs to this paragraph. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[kurosh]

ZJ sued party and got all his money back. He didn't lose a damn thing for cheating. This post will be deleted as soon as the mods see it.