How long does it take you to poop?

[bigt2k4]

It depends on how clean it is, I usually wipe my @ss until it is completely clean. Try pushing your anus like you are talking a crap and wiping at the same time. I find this helps considerably in getting a good clean wipe. Also, if I am in a public place I like to toilet paper the seat. It usually doesn't take me more than a couple of minutes to get the log out, but then I take awhile to wipe. All in all, I find that the quicker craps I have usually take about 5 minutes total(add 1-3 minutes for public places and TP'ing the seat) where my normal crap time is about 8-10 minutes(again add 1-3). My long messy ones tend to be a good 20-30 minutes(+1-3, usually tend to be because of multiple logs struggling to get out or diarrhea) I have had craps of an hour plus(usually about 3 times per year) because of diarrhea and the extreme messes that ensue.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
It depends on how clean it is, I usually wipe my @ss until it is completely clean. Try pushing your anus like you are talking a crap and wiping at the same time. I find this helps considerably in getting a good clean wipe. Also, if I am in a public place I like to toilet paper the seat. It usually doesn't take me more than a couple of minutes to get the log out, but then I take awhile to wipe. All in all, I find that the quicker craps I have usually take about 5 minutes total(add 1-3 minutes for public places and TP'ing the seat) where my normal crap time is about 8-10 minutes(again add 1-3). My long messy ones tend to be a good 20-30 minutes(+1-3, usually tend to be because of multiple logs struggling to get out or diarrhea) I have had craps of an hour plus(usually about 3 times per year) because of diarrhea and the extreme messes that ensue.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have a strong stomach... but this post seriously is disgusting.

[Aloysius]

Whiz - yes, that post makes Utmt40's revenge on OOT complete.

-Al

[astroglide]

"try pushing your anus" is probably a phrase that should only be used by doctors, generals, and homosexuals.

[acoustix]

[ QUOTE ]
"try pushing your anus" is probably a phrase that should only be used by doctors, generals, and homosexuals.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. Why generals?

[astroglide]

i dunno, generals are hardcore. some guy gets shelled in a trench and he's trying to expel shrapnel. the general grabs him by the uniform, goes nose-to-nose, and shouts "try pushing your anus!" as naturally as he might have said "these bagels you baked are delicious!"

[Boris]

Bro WTF happened to you?

[ QUOTE ]
by the way, i think the way bitter handled the situation was laudable. it was a great response for somebody who might honestly be new to 2+2.

[/ QUOTE ]

Since when did you become all knob slobbery and paternalistic in one little post? What ever happened to the old Astroglide? You know, the Astroglide that pissed people off with his caustic wit? The Astroglide that was an expert on anal sex? The Astroglide that knew everything about home electronics? The COOL Astroglide? Jeezus effing christ. Now you're like "I wanna marry DB!" "I don't wanna ban bruiser" "OOT survivor is too harsh and too scary. Why can't we get along?"

[astroglide]

boris,
time makes you bolder
children get older
i've gotten older, too

p.s. did you not notice my outing and execution of grand pooh-bah here? or my savage wit with the anus thing?

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
boris,
time makes you bolder
children get older
i've gotten older, too

p.s. did you not notice my outing and execution of grand pooh-bah here? or my savage wit with the anus thing?

[/ QUOTE ]

I blame Big Macs

[Dids]

The General thing was fantastic.