My GF wants me to pick her up (am I an ass?)

[CardSharpCook]

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"then I'm more inclined to help her out, but as a favour. I would expect big dividends for my kindness."

Are all of you guys in relationships where the girl treats sex as reward and you have to do tricks to get it like a little dog?

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nh

[cero_z]

[ QUOTE ]
"then I'm more inclined to help her out, but as a favour. I would expect big dividends for my kindness."

Are all of you guys in relationships where the girl treats sex as reward and you have to do tricks to get it like a little dog?

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Gold.

[CardSharpCook]

Dominic makes a good point.

It appears that this has become (or is) an issue of dominance and/or dependence. That is, you are feeling insecure (possibly justifiable so) about your place of dominance in the relationship. No longer are you concerned about your other half, but rather you are asking yourself the question, "am I her bitch?" You are wondering if you are being used.

Or, she is becoming increasingly needy and dependent on you. She is asking for favors not because she needs a favor, but because she needs reaffirmation of your love for her. You can respond in one of two ways; "lady, you know I love you, but what you are asking is kind of unreasonable. Picking you up saves you 20 minutes and costs me 40. You know I hate that hassle of city traffic too. Don't make me do this." Or you could just pick her up with a smile and a kiss letting her feel loved and giving you the satisfaction of knowing that when she's with you, she feels loved.

Personally, I don't know how I would react to this situation. Reason dictates I tell her I'm not going to go 40 minutes out of my way to save her 20 minutes. But love rarely falls victim to reason. Also, I find independence attractive and dependence is repelling. It could very well be that requests like these would start a small swelling of repulsion towards my loved one. I just don't know. It's been a while since I've been in love.

[Bork]

[ QUOTE ]
"then I'm more inclined to help her out, but as a favour. I would expect big dividends for my kindness."

Are all of you guys in relationships where the girl treats sex as reward and you have to do tricks to get it like a little dog?

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I dunno, maybe he didn't mean sex.. still buying and selling favors isn't exactly the spirit of a healthy relationship.

[buckbomb56]

Pics?

[fish2plus2]

cbloom,

How long does it take you to get to work, or are you an internet pro? How did you come to live at this location? 40 minute travel time twice daily is pretty sick. Maybe you should try to find an apartment closer to her place of work.

[bernie]

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I understand what an inconvenience that could be, but just ask yourself one question:

Are you in love with her?

If you're not and she's just some chick you're dating for now, then be nice and pick her up once a week or so but tell her she needs to find other transportation for the most part.

If you do love her, pick her up every chance you can and count your lucky stars you have someone to love who loves you back and wants you to make her feel special by doing something as easy (and it really is that easy) as picking her up.

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It's not just work though:

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However, several times a week she'll want me to take her somewhere or pick her up from work or something.

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Shows how independence really is an attractive feature on a chick. I'd hate to drive a chick everywhere all the time. Of course, this probably should've been thought of before they moved in together.

Never know, some other guy might start giving her rides.

b

[DrewDevil]

I don't know if you are an ass or not, but there is no frickin way I would cart anyone around like a chauffeur 4-5 times a week.

[Golden_Rhino]

You're not an ass, but I don't see the big deal in taking an hour out of your day to help someone you care about. I can see why you'd be mad at her getting all pissy about it though.

[Vyse]

A girl doesn't respect a guy she controls. Case closed.