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#51
10-17-2006, 03:45 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
My deepest sympathies on your loss.
While I don't have any children, my sister lost her 3 year old son in a car accident in 1991. I can still remember vividly the phone call from my mother, and the overwhelming feeling of grief that I felt at that instant. My wife at the time and I flew to where my sister and family were living for the funeral. Those were probably the 3 or 4 most difficult days of my life. I tried to be there for my sister, but of course I couldn't do or say anything that would make her feel better. At the time of the accident my sister had two sons (the older one survived the accident relatively unhurt), and now that son is 19 and has a 13 year old sister who was born not long after the accident. She would not be here today if not for the accident, as they hadn't planned on having more children. My sister and I talk about Spencer once in a while, and even though time is a very good healer, it's not something you ever get over. I'm happy to say that my sister and brother in law are still together, because the divorce rate in such cases is extremely high. From what you have written I get the sense that you and your wife will grow much much closer because of what happened. I hope that you and your wife do have more children. It won't make up for the loss of your son, but it will probably help in terms of the healing process. I'm not sure if it's worse losing a child that you never got to know, a 3 year old, or an adult. I assume that all of the situations are equally unbearable. I wish you and your wife all of the best. Take things one day at a time, and I'm sure you'll have many extremely happy times in your lives that you have to look forward to. 
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#52
10-17-2006, 04:01 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] This post made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss. [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] Yeah just about here too. Had to post after reading that, that post really hit me hard. Just wanted to say my heart goes out to you and your wife and try to stay strong while you guys get through this.
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#54
10-17-2006, 04:04 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Poincaraux,
I am another member of this sad fraternity. My first son, Joshua Alexander, was stillborn almost ten years ago. His eulogy is posted at http://sids-network.org/fp/migdol.htm . Every January 17th, my wife and I look through his baby book and grieve together, along with Joshua's younger brother and sister who are a very healthy 6 and 8 respectively. Best wishes for the future for you and your wife. Please feel free to PM if you would like to discuss further.
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#55
10-17-2006, 04:06 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
[ QUOTE ]
Maybe they won't be able to figure out what happened to him, but maybe he can be some data point on some graph somewhere that helps someone figure something out, helps save some other baby. [/ QUOTE ] This sentence made me feel worse than I have in years. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] This is terrible, and though I've never met you I offer my deepest condolences.
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#56
10-17-2006, 04:13 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
[ QUOTE ]
its not the same thing, but my wife had a miscarriage the 1st time she was pregnant. [/ QUOTE ] My wife had two. I thought that would prepare me for the OP, but I was quite wrong about that. I knew absolutely nothing about stillbirth before opening this thread. I now know that I will never say "miscarriage" and "stillbirth" in the same breath ever again. OP: Get right back up on the horse. Knock her up again. Put that nursery to use. You'll like it.
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#57
10-17-2006, 05:13 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] This is the saddest post ever written on 2+2. I have goosebumps. Sorry, man. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] I am so very sorry for your loss. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ]
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#59
10-17-2006, 05:57 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
I don't know how you mustered the strength to write this, and I hope that doing it helped you in some way. It feels out of place and inconsequential to compliment you on your writing, but this is one of the most powerful things I've ever read.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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#60
10-17-2006, 06:57 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't imagine what you've been through.
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