*OFFICIAL* Sexytime Containment Thread

[NLSoldier]

i wish i wasnt drunk i would read this thread

[Georgia Avenue]

Unsent Letter To Gradschool Girl

Hi! How are you? You’re flying back from the west coast on a plane right now so I thought I’d take a time out from talking to you/texting you/generally moping around to update BBV about my activities since last week. Just a few hours ago when we got off the phone you said you’d talk to me soon and I said “Are you sure?” and you said, “Yes, are YOU sure?” and I said “Definitely.” And I felt that I should have told you that I loved you for some reason, but I didn’t, and in fact after I hung up I wonder wtf we’d been talking about? Sure about what? Maybe it sounds needy, “Do u like me? Do u like me zomg?” I feel like I’m being a pussy all of a sudden, clinging to you like a life raft in the sea of chicks I’m currently drowning in.

When you called last week to tell me that an old friend of yours had died, I was at the vegan chick’s house. It was her birthday and we were screwing while watching Dirty Dancing, which is less sexy than it sounds. I knew it was you when I heard my phone going off. You were really upset on the voicemail, so I told the vegan that I had to call my ex-wife about this important business thing (lol). She was annoyed but stayed in her living room while I retreated to the bedroom to call you. We talked for about half an hour, me paranoid every now and then putting you on mute and complaining like Im fighting with my ex. Eventually I made some excuse and got off the phone, feeling like a total a-hole. You know you’ve got it bad when you’d rather listen to some chick cry into a phone than have sex with one right in front of you. The next morning I was banging the vegan from behind and totally got distracted feeling badly about you, all alone and sad, and I totally lost my hard-on. I told the vegan I was feeling tired from the night before and jumped in the shower, which annoyed her, but the fact that she doesn’t give blowjobs makes me eternally uninterested in her satisfaction imo.

A few days later I went to Boston on the train, staying up all night playing .5-1 limit horse to get to the station at 5am. I wandered around Boston for a while, hanging out my a college friend and his baby and was surprised to get a text from DBZ about 4. I was assuming that she would be too weirded out by the idea of meeting some supposed playboy from the internet to hang out, but she seemed to be taking a leap of faith so we chatted and made nervous plans to meet somewhere totally obscure to me. I spent hours wandering around Cambridge trying to figure out where I was going, finding the tiny side street off Central Square just as I was supposed to meet her. She appeared as I was lurking out side of the Tibetan place, wearing a pokerstars jacket, which concealed {insert sexist comments about her hotness}. I had a fun time with her, when I could get a word in edgewise (the girl likes to talk, but she’s clearly wicked smaht so listening to her ramblings is charming) but I could tell she was freaked out...either by the weird publicness of the meeting or my non-blackness or my age or something. I felt if I had just come up with the right notion for the rest of our evening we could have hung out more, but perhaps that’s just my gargantuan ego. Nonetheless I had to catch my friends at the airport otherwise I’d miss the wedding the next day in Cape Cod. A romance between two stellar BBV posters will have to wait for her to meet goofy in vegas on New Years…having met them both I’m sure they’ll hit off like two nerds at a, well, like two nerds. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

At the wedding the next day there were exactly ONE (1) single women. You know all these people baby, they went to college with us, so I wont say who the maid of honor was. Suffice to say you probably hated her. She’s kind of annoying and used to do a lot of drugs, but she has a tight little body and was throwing it at me all day. What was I supposed to do? I’m merely human. The clincher came when she started flirting with this other guy at the afterparty at the house we were renting. He has a serious girlfriend, but he’s been know to wander, so he begged me to run the block for him so he wouldn’t screw up. I AM A GOOD FRIEND LDO. Sigh. Anyway the three of us went on a walk with a bottle of wine and I led us into the woods off the scary pitchblack road into some abandoned farmhouse lane. We reached a big clearing and the chick, pretty bombed, started talking about Dionysus and the moon and freaky [censored]. Bacchus, it is I, but I’d rather be Apollo. As my friend wanders off to take a piss, I lean in and give her a kiss to shut her up. When he comes back we separate…good let’s keep it on the DL. At the house we sneak out back and make out some more…she says “Don’t tell any of your friends [the bride] will kill me if she finds out!” What? OK…I guess? Even tho everyone has seen us go off and is giving me “lol@yu” looks? Meanwhile you text me from a Halloween party telling me about your costume. I say I’m finishing off the booze and you write: “Good night sweetheart” Tilt.

So I have to wait til everyone else has gone to sleep. [censored] I just want to pass out but the lure of strange is too powerful…finally we go into my room and start messing around…she’s ravenous, but keeps stopping to tell me weird sh-t like I was responsible for the only B she got in college. I’m kinda worried that she’s too drunk to f—k, the last thing I want to do is take advantage of a girl I’m not that into! (lol j/k) but anyway she starts taking her shirt off, so okeydokey! The first time is too quick so I eat her pussy a while…she keeps telling me to stop because if she comes she’ll wake everyone up, serious lol. So I screw her again holding her skinny legs above her head but she still doesn’t come, maybe cuz the bed keeps squeaking and thumping and she keeps telling me to be quieter.. We mess around and she sucks my dick for a while til I’m ready again, but I only had 2 condoms in my wallet…before I can even tell her she rolls on top of me and slips me in. Oh well, Doctor I swear I did my best! I am a walking timebomb. She starts grinding really slow, whispering updates: “Play with my [censored]…ok now stick your finger in my ass…ok now stop…I’m almost there…slow down…I’m going to cum…I’m cuming…here I come.!” For all that I was expecting her to squirt or something but she just rolls off and sighs. Lol do I get to finish too? Guess not…Still pretty damn hot. Maybe I should screw more chicks that hated me in college?

The next day I leave bright and early so I have no idea how she feels about her night with me…hopefully fine. I feel pretty lame about it…I mean it was fun, but I’d much rather not ruin my chances with you my distant lady than kick it with a random. I take a long ride back to Boston listening to easy listening which is apparently on every station in MA. Billy Joel somehow is relevant to me this morning. My friends drop me off at the airport so I have to ride the T back to downtown. This one friend who lives in Boston offers to hang out til my train leaves…we’re standing on the platform when I realize that the end of the line in the other direction is Wonderland. As in “Next Stop Wonderland,” one of my favorite movies. At the end of it, the two main characters ride the train to the end on a whim and end up meeting for the first time and presumably falling in love. It’s cheesy, but somehow I must do it. My buddy doesn’t want to go, which is probably for the best, since that’s kinda gay ldo, so just as the train arrives I skip out and run across to the other platform with my suitcase. I ride out listening to the new pornographers. What am I doing?

Right as the conductor says what I’ve been waiting to hear: “Nextstopwondahlan last stop” my phone rings. Of course it is you. Of course you are sitting in a plane about to take off, going to your friend’s funeral. Of course we talk about nothing as I ramble out of the station to the cold beach, of course I feel like a bad character in a good movie as I sit and stare out at the waves and hope that we can work out something, anything, that would let us be together. After we hang up, reluctantly as always, I realize I have to make some bizarre choices for love, that it’s worth the risk, like going the wrong way on this subway line. So I’m going to cut all of the random chicks I’m dating out right now. Of course I’ll still try to hook up with one night stands cuz for god sake woman I’m not a monk, but I don’t want to even pretend to have a relationship with anyone but you. Now I just need to man up and think of an excuse to give them other than, “I’m pining for a girl who may or may not want to be pined for and you distract me from that k thx bye.”

Yours Truly,

--georgiaave

So this thread is on pause for me, unless I fall into some easy pickings this weekend in AC. Feel free to discuss your own stuff here. Wdead, I’m sorry I missed your last few questions, what were they again? Vehn whats up with your online thing? Dids have you tried match.com yet? Holla at a playa.

The maid of honor--neither imo:


another action shot of gsg:

[MasterLJ]

Soooooooo....

Girl I was all about 6 months ago drunkenly confessed her love for me.

I have a gf... I want to be single.

HALP BBV!

[Georgia Avenue]

pics or at least relative hotness scale dude.

[MasterLJ]

[Georgia Avenue]

now whats yr curret gf look like?

wait are you in college? if yes, bang them both and gtfo

[MasterLJ]

[ QUOTE ]
now whats yr curret gf look like?

wait are you in college? if yes, bang them both and gtfo

[/ QUOTE ]

My current gf is about a 5 (I give the above an 8 or so). Current gf has the whole package. No matter what I do though, I want to be single though.

EDIT: I'm not in college... not looking to get married.

[goofyballer]

Georgia, I read it all. I have no idea what to say because you're on an entirely different level than me and holy [censored] that's a lot to digest, but I hope the fact that your post was appreciated brings you comfort.

[Georgia Avenue]

thanks dude, I'm either on a different level or just lost in the basement.

Master: If you want to be single, break up with the gf and bang the hottie. Jeebus are you leveling?

[divides_by_zero]

I talks a lot when I'm nervous. I'm often nervous. Come to your own conclusions.

But it was fun. Nice to meet you, sir. Stay away from my mom.