Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[bkholdem]

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"That's another thing, when they ask what your drinking the confident reply is "Cranberry juice" or something non alcoholic and they realize this confident guy who is going around and approaching strangers and making converstation with them and looking to meet interesting and fun people is not even drinking alcohol."

Do other people agree with this. Id pretty much assume that this guy was a serial killer looking for his next victim.

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LOL. I think this falls under "what works for you" if it's who you really are, and you come off smooth/confident doing it.

I'm not drinking cranberry juice at the bar, just cuz I'd rather be drinking a beer or something.

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You have it right. If you came across wierd it doesn't really matter *what* you say, your coming across wierd. I have nothing against drinking and used to be a heavy drinker in the past.

The idea is I don't *need* alcohol to get courage to approach women while 1/2 the guys in the place are imbibing alcohol dreaming of approching women, trying to get up the courage. But I don't want to insult the females who are drinking alcohol either so I don't spell it out like that. I have nothing against drinking and drink when I go out with my wife dancing.

[Blarg]

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"That's another thing, when they ask what your drinking the confident reply is "Cranberry juice" or something non alcoholic and they realize this confident guy who is going around and approaching strangers and making converstation with them and looking to meet interesting and fun people is not even drinking alcohol."

Do other people agree with this. Id pretty much assume that this guy was a serial killer looking for his next victim.

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I thought that was a little strange too. If I was a chick and some guy told me he was drinking cranberry juice, I'd think he was uptight or tell him the gay bar was across the street.

Seriously, if being yourself is it, then making up sh*t like you would never have a few drinks in, *AHEM*, a bar of all places, doesn't seem on point.

Also, women like sex but don't want to look like sl*ts, and like to drink but don't want to look like drunks. So they need guys to play along. If you don't drink as much as they do, they start to feel like they look bad and they better stop having fun. And they know what all that drinking is supposed to lead to just as well as you do, so if you shut down their drinking by being a party pooper, you look like you disapprove of the whole party/get laid process.

Not to say you have to mirror them exactly, but cranberry juice? If a girl wants to party and maybe have some sex with someone she barely knows that night, she wants it with a guy who seems like he's not going to judge her for doing it. A guy with cranberry juice in a bar doesn't seem like he would give off that vibe, to me.

[traz]

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Alamo,

At what point in your initial conversation(s) do you say "Just so you know, I'm not looking for anything other than sex from you"?

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after your done with teh sex.



rim shot!

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Lol. To answer the question, it depends.

It depends on the unique situations that arise in any encounter. If you make it clear by your behaviour and the stories you tell you are not easy to corner, not clingy and so on, a lot of girls already more or less expect it from you.

Of course this puts off some women, some women are neutral towards it, and some women get excited by the challenge.

Having said that, I can recall a few times that I just blurted it out, but I did that cos I felt I could at that point in time. It's funny, if your timing is off it is game over right away, but if the timing is right, man, you can get away with saying stuff that would normally have you on the receiving end of some full glasses of random drinks poured over your head.

Actually, I would say that one of the most valuable skills I have learned is the whole part of calibrating, body language and group dynamics/psychology.

Also comes handy in my line of work, being in sales.

See, it is my conviction that a big big part of the whole pua stuff is actually not so much about being able how to pick up girls, but how to be more conscient of the things that happen around you, and just basic human psychology.

One parallel (sp) being the whole acting aloof thing (towards girls) and the "I have a great deal for you, but I will offer it once and after that leave you to chew on the offer I made you" thing in my job. I landed my biggest orders that way.

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Agreed. I don't know if I said it in this thread or the VH1 thread, but I had made a post saying that a large part of PUA is understanding what's going on behind the scenes of normal interactions.

[bkholdem]

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Where is my shame?

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Damned if I know.

as for he rest of your questions, LOL. why don't you see if can take some more of my statements to absurd illogical extremes or just make a few more up and attribute them to me. if you do it well maybe i'll buy you a drink or something.

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I simply generalized to try to get you to see things in a different light. If every guy wants to get laid and some of them are involved in some type of practice/study on how to increase the quality and/or frequency, I don't see why that is a bad thing. In fact I see it as a good thing.

I have never and would never paid for a weekend seminar or anything like that, and I happen to advocate people to practice on their own or with friends instead of paying for it, but I see the practice with the goal of improving as a good thing.

If your a guy who is leaving it up to chance and not getting the results you want I think your missing out.

If you are completely satisfied with the way you manage your relationships with women then more power to you bro.

[bkholdem]

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"That's another thing, when they ask what your drinking the confident reply is "Cranberry juice" or something non alcoholic and they realize this confident guy who is going around and approaching strangers and making converstation with them and looking to meet interesting and fun people is not even drinking alcohol."

Do other people agree with this. Id pretty much assume that this guy was a serial killer looking for his next victim.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought that was a little strange too. If I was a chick and some guy told me he was drinking cranberry juice, I'd think he was uptight or tell him the gay bar was across the street.

Seriously, if being yourself is it, then making up sh*t like you would never have a few drinks in, *AHEM*, a bar of all places, doesn't seem on point.

Also, women like sex but don't want to look like sl*ts, and like to drink but don't want to look like drunks. So they need guys to play along. If you don't drink as much as they do, they start to feel like they look bad and they better stop having fun. And they know what all that drinking is supposed to lead to just as well as you do, so if you shut down their drinking by being a party pooper, you look like you disapprove of the whole party/get laid process.

Not to say you have to mirror them exactly, but cranberry juice? If a girl wants to party and maybe have some sex with someone she barely knows that night, she wants it with a guy who seems like he's not going to judge her for doing it. A guy with cranberry juice in a bar doesn't seem like he would give off that vibe, to me.

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But you are just going by some image you made up in your head about what I look like and what I act like and you don't know me.

If I am bringing the party to them, and making them have fun, and maybe sending out subtle sexual vibes, the cran is not very important my friend. I might be saying "cranberry juice" with words but I also might with my eyes, tone of voice, and body language subtly be suggesting something that is turning her on.

And if a woman really needs to be with a guy who drinks 8 drinks in order to let him f her, well my friend, I past those days by the age of 22.

Suppose you and your friend (who are both kinda drunk) are hitting on 2 chicks and I come into the mix. They ask and I say 'cran juice'. If you try to bust on me I"m gonna probably pwn you. What if I start making the chicks laugh and they start paying more attention to me than you, you think b/c you have a beer in your hand you have the advantage?

[sonneti]

Anyone care to cliff note the entire thread? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

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"That's another thing, when they ask what your drinking the confident reply is "Cranberry juice" or something non alcoholic and they realize this confident guy who is going around and approaching strangers and making converstation with them and looking to meet interesting and fun people is not even drinking alcohol."

Do other people agree with this. Id pretty much assume that this guy was a serial killer looking for his next victim.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought that was a little strange too. If I was a chick and some guy told me he was drinking cranberry juice, I'd think he was uptight or tell him the gay bar was across the street.

Seriously, if being yourself is it, then making up sh*t like you would never have a few drinks in, *AHEM*, a bar of all places, doesn't seem on point.

Also, women like sex but don't want to look like sl*ts, and like to drink but don't want to look like drunks. So they need guys to play along. If you don't drink as much as they do, they start to feel like they look bad and they better stop having fun. And they know what all that drinking is supposed to lead to just as well as you do, so if you shut down their drinking by being a party pooper, you look like you disapprove of the whole party/get laid process.

Not to say you have to mirror them exactly, but cranberry juice? If a girl wants to party and maybe have some sex with someone she barely knows that night, she wants it with a guy who seems like he's not going to judge her for doing it. A guy with cranberry juice in a bar doesn't seem like he would give off that vibe, to me.

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But you are just going by some image you made up in your head about what I look like and what I act like and you don't know me.

If I am bringing the party to them, and making them have fun, and maybe sending out subtle sexual vibes, the cran is not very important my friend. I might be saying "cranberry juice" with words but I also might with my eyes, tone of voice, and body language subtly be suggesting something that is turning her on.

And if a woman really needs to be with a guy who drinks 8 drinks in order to let him f her, well my friend, I past those days by the age of 22.

Suppose you and your friend (who are both kinda drunk) are hitting on 2 chicks and I come into the mix. They ask and I say 'cran juice'. If you try to bust on me I"m gonna probably pwn you. What if I start making the chicks laugh and they start paying more attention to me than you, you think b/c you have a beer in your hand you have the advantage?

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It's not my image; I don't care what a guy does in a bar. I'm probably not looking at him long enough to notice. I'm talking about the appearance that might well give to women.

As to whether pwning some guy will give you an advantage over him, it obviously will, regardless of what anyone is doing in any way. Pretty much by definition.

Regarding being past certain kinds of days when 22, we're talking about getting laid. Those days aren't past. If a girl is coming on to a guy and doesn't like drinking alone, I see nothing wrong with making her comfortable. NLP techniques include mirroring and give it high regard.

When it comes to being yourself, there's more than that going on. There's also the girl, who wants to feel free to be herself. There's a lot to be said for being the guy who provides her the room and approval and acceptance to do just that. Women have fantasies too. Even if it's just for one night. Who says you can't be the one to provide them?

I think it falls short to always be focused on being yourself, even to the point of being artificially odd, which isn't really yourself anyway, and discounting that it takes two to tango. There's a lot of value in letting a woman feel comfortable to be herself. It takes a secure guy to do that and not feel threatened by it. It's not collapsing or being weak when you smooth into her groove. You can let the reins loose a bit and still be in plenty of control, probably more.

[thirddan]

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Anyone care to cliff note the entire thread? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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pua may or may not be a good thing...

anacardo and dids have ghey feelings towards each other, but both are in denial...

[El Diablo]

bk,

"If you try to bust on me I"m gonna probably pwn you."

I will AMOG your cranberry-drinking wise-cracking ass so hard you will cry.

[snagglepuss]

bk,

i wish you were still single and 'in the game' so i could offer you some kind of propbet [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]