Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
Eggplant,

Myers-Briggs will change your effing life. These guys have their pet social pseudoscience, I have mine!

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Ya, I think if you guys wouldn't separate people into categories, and judged everyone individually, you guys wouldnt be insulting blacks by calling me eggplant, wouldnt try to apologize all the time for being white by overly defending minorites who dont need your help in the first place, and there would be much less racism in the world.

[bkholdem]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not saying that you can't get women without money, but that having it helps a lot. People like signalling it and people like looking for the signals. It does a lot of your work of standing out from the crowd and giving a good impression for you, rightly or wrongly. Of course, the door is still always open for you to blow it.

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It's an exibition of status.

So isn't strolling into a bar like you own the place all alone and interacting with 1/2 of the people there, getting groups of girls interested in you, etc. You can really see the way they are *impressed* when your answer to their question: "How do you know those girls over there?" is "I just met them tonight." You get lots of status from the women in the bar if you can show up alone (or with a friend or 2) and mix with the groups of girls, the groups that have guys and girls in them, etc (you mostly wannna bypass the groups that are just guys) all the way around the bar, laughing and joking with strangers. Making others have a FUN time. If women see that you can bring fun and excitement to 4-5 different groups of girls in a bar (while alsmost all the rest of the dude's make their big attempt at one chick or 2 and it's 'can I buy you a drink' or 'do you wanna dance' lol) it gives you status. They see you as confident and above the rest of the guys there. You go around and meet 20 or more different people in one night. Come back to that same place 1x/month or so for 6 months and you might be friendly with 1/2 the people there. And now you meet their friends they are with this time who they were not with the last time, etc.

A lot of it is a numbers game. And it is not a negative to the checks there (at least it doesn't have to be) that you are there to meet interesting and fun women. Your a single man, confident, going ot meet women with the pair between your legs and a smile. They are all used to the lamo's who offer to buy them a drink, ask for their number, and ask them to dance (after drinking 6 beers lol). That's another thing, when they ask what your drinking the confident reply is "Cranberry juice" or something non alcoholic and they realize this confident guy who is going around and approaching strangers and making converstation with them and looking to meet interesting and fun people is not even drinking alcohol. YOu stand out.

Do that in an old tee shirt, cutoffs, and sandles and you will stand out (assming the place is not jam packed, the girls have to notice you are moving and mingling).

Walk in with some interesting outfit, flashy clothes, (or simply well dressed, manicure, etc) and if you move around confidently the girls will notice. Then they will notice if you side up to the bar with a drink or if you move from one group to the next. By mixing with a couple tables with boyfriends and girlfriends out for the night and joking with them and smiling with them, and mixing wiht several sets of chicks....all the girls paying attention are going to notice. And they are going to know your not the lamo who gets drunk and asks for a couple numbers.

[Blarg]

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right, but your still flashing, to me, if I see someoen wearing ratty jeans, and a pair of 1k sunglasses, and looks pretty generic just like everyone else, Im still going to think they are just trying to get the point across that they have money. I still think people are douche bags if they are just trying to flash money, whether it be subtle or not.


[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not big on letting my haircut or whatever do my talking for me either. Can't argue that it works, though.

I'm one of the guys who wouldn't really notice if a pair of sunglasses cost a grand until someone told me they did, so I'm sure a lot of subtle flashing goes on around me all the time that I'm oblivious to. That might be working-as-intended. I bet there are far fewer women out there who aren't hip to whether somebody's shoes are Bruno Maglis or whatever. They are the target audience, not me, so the subtle flashing is probably working just right when they get it and I don't.

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this does not mean that I think buying expensive stuff is stupid, its just that most people just buy crap because it is expensive, I have no doubt that for every pair of 1k sunglasses, there about 100 w/ more style, adn look a lot better for a fraction of the price, but stupid people just see 1k and think "gee, Ill get laid wearing super expensive glasses".


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeh, tons of expensive stuff looks like crap, and is bought only because other people are wearing it. Look what happens when some celeb gets her photo in the news while wearing some pair of sunglasses -- sales of that type skyrocket for months. They weren't any better or worse before she wore them. Our repeating sunglasses threads here in OOT are great confirmation of how herd behavior can rope people in.

[bkholdem]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not saying that you can't get women without money, but that having it helps a lot. People like signalling it and people like looking for the signals. It does a lot of your work of standing out from the crowd and giving a good impression for you, rightly or wrongly. Of course, the door is still always open for you to blow it.

[/ QUOTE ]


Just dress nice, and in your style. wearing stupid hats to attract attention is retarded and makes me want to punch you.

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

compared to

http://www.abercrombie.com/anf/lifes.../homepage.html


if you are able to distinguish the hugely massive difference between the two sites, you are on your way.

Ps, anyone can flash cash, 99% fo the time most females wont have any idea of your real financial standing until its not an issue for them anymore (ie they like you for you), unless you are hugely successful, but for your typical mid 20-something, it doesnt matter much.

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I say dress any way you want. Your pot of gold is where YOU find it. Why worry about what the next guy is doing?

But having a sense of style when going out to meet women seems to work well, whether or not that is over the top, near the top, or simply a cut above most.

Be noticed. Be interesting. Bring excitement.

If there is nothing wrong with dressing up and going out and talking to 2-3 girls about any random shizan that comes out of your mouth at the time...why is it wrong to dress up and go out and talk to 20-30 girls about things you have put some thought into talking to them about? Why is it wrong to have game that is tighter than most of the rest of the other guys? Why is it wrong to have a plan from the get go? An action oriented plan that you are actively managing the whole night, pacing and leading things to where you decided you want them to go?

If you goal is to go out and spend $50 bucks buying strange women drinks in the hopes one will latch on to you, have at it.

What's wrong with going out and having the goal of talking to 20 chicks (spending no money on them because your value is yourself, you don't bribe strange women to pay attention to you) and trying to leave with one that night?

[Anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Eggplant,

Myers-Briggs will change your effing life. These guys have their pet social pseudoscience, I have mine!

[/ QUOTE ]

Ya, I think if you guys wouldn't separate people into categories, and judged everyone individually, you guys wouldnt be insulting blacks by calling me eggplant, wouldnt try to apologize all the time for being white by overly defending minorites who dont need your help in the first place, and there would be much less racism in the world.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude WTF are you talking about.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not saying that you can't get women without money, but that having it helps a lot. People like signalling it and people like looking for the signals. It does a lot of your work of standing out from the crowd and giving a good impression for you, rightly or wrongly. Of course, the door is still always open for you to blow it.

[/ QUOTE ]


Just dress nice, and in your style. wearing stupid hats to attract attention is retarded and makes me want to punch you.

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

compared to

http://www.abercrombie.com/anf/lifes.../homepage.html


if you are able to distinguish the hugely massive difference between the two sites, you are on your way.

Ps, anyone can flash cash, 99% fo the time most females wont have any idea of your real financial standing until its not an issue for them anymore (ie they like you for you), unless you are hugely successful, but for your typical mid 20-something, it doesnt matter much.

[/ QUOTE ]

I say dress any way you want. Your pot of gold is where YOU find it. Why worry about what the next guy is doing?

But having a sense of style when going out to meet women seems to work well, whether or not that is over the top, near the top, or simply a cut above most.

Be noticed. Be interesting. Bring excitement.

If there is nothing wrong with dressing up and going out and talking to 2-3 girls about any random shizan that comes out of your mouth at the time...why is it wrong to dress up and go out and talk to 20-30 girls about things you have put some thought into talking to them about? Why is it wrong to have game that is tighter than most of the rest of the other guys? Why is it wrong to have a plan from the get go? An action oriented plan that you are actively managing the whole night, pacing and leading things to where you decided you want them to go?

If you goal is to go out and spend $50 bucks buying strange women drinks in the hopes one will latch on to you, have at it.

What's wrong with going out and having the goal of talking to 20 chicks (spending no money on them because your value is yourself, you don't bribe strange women to pay attention to you) and trying to leave with one that night?

[/ QUOTE ]


I agree completely and that was my point. People buy abercrombie and fitch because everyone else is, and they are worrying about the next guy. The people from that blog, look good because they found their style and what works for them. Personally, Im a fashion nerd, dressing is an art, its about the only artsy thing I do, I like reading whats in style etc, but also, I rarely like any of it, there are some things that I really like though that suit me, so incorporate that. Since I view it as art, I think wearing stupid hats, and all velvet wizard suits, is akin to the [censored] artists who poop on jesus' picture so they will get on tv.


the rest of your post kind of came out of nowhere, but ya, I agree with it.

[bkholdem]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
right, but your still flashing, to me, if I see someoen wearing ratty jeans, and a pair of 1k sunglasses, and looks pretty generic just like everyone else, Im still going to think they are just trying to get the point across that they have money. I still think people are douche bags if they are just trying to flash money, whether it be subtle or not.


[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not big on letting my haircut or whatever do my talking for me either. Can't argue that it works, though.

I'm one of the guys who wouldn't really notice if a pair of sunglasses cost a grand until someone told me they did, so I'm sure a lot of subtle flashing goes on around me all the time that I'm oblivious to. That might be working-as-intended. I bet there are far fewer women out there who aren't hip to whether somebody's shoes are Bruno Maglis or whatever. They are the target audience, not me, so the subtle flashing is probably working just right when they get it and I don't.

[ QUOTE ]
this does not mean that I think buying expensive stuff is stupid, its just that most people just buy crap because it is expensive, I have no doubt that for every pair of 1k sunglasses, there about 100 w/ more style, adn look a lot better for a fraction of the price, but stupid people just see 1k and think "gee, Ill get laid wearing super expensive glasses".


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeh, tons of expensive stuff looks like crap, and is bought only because other people are wearing it. Look what happens when some celeb gets her photo in the news while wearing some pair of sunglasses -- sales of that type skyrocket for months. They weren't any better or worse before she wore them. Our repeating sunglasses threads here in OOT are great confirmation of how herd behavior can rope people in.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well one thing PUA's are not are sheep.

Male sheep of the dating variety go out and bribe females with drinks and dinner in the hopes of sleeping with them and they think this is a good thing. They accept it as normal practice.

When I was single and a woman had the nerve to ask me to buy her a drink my reply, delivered with confidence, was "I don't buy women drinks unless I am sleeping with them." YOu might think that turns them off but it does not. It piques their interest. "I only pay for women I am already sleeping with."

Most of the male's in this country shell out hundrends and thousands each year as bribes in the hopes of getting sex. You gotta change that way of thinking guys. lol

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
right, but your still flashing, to me, if I see someoen wearing ratty jeans, and a pair of 1k sunglasses, and looks pretty generic just like everyone else, Im still going to think they are just trying to get the point across that they have money. I still think people are douche bags if they are just trying to flash money, whether it be subtle or not.


[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not big on letting my haircut or whatever do my talking for me either. Can't argue that it works, though.

I'm one of the guys who wouldn't really notice if a pair of sunglasses cost a grand until someone told me they did, so I'm sure a lot of subtle flashing goes on around me all the time that I'm oblivious to. That might be working-as-intended. I bet there are far fewer women out there who aren't hip to whether somebody's shoes are Bruno Maglis or whatever. They are the target audience, not me, so the subtle flashing is probably working just right when they get it and I don't.

[ QUOTE ]
this does not mean that I think buying expensive stuff is stupid, its just that most people just buy crap because it is expensive, I have no doubt that for every pair of 1k sunglasses, there about 100 w/ more style, adn look a lot better for a fraction of the price, but stupid people just see 1k and think "gee, Ill get laid wearing super expensive glasses".


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeh, tons of expensive stuff looks like crap, and is bought only because other people are wearing it. Look what happens when some celeb gets her photo in the news while wearing some pair of sunglasses -- sales of that type skyrocket for months. They weren't any better or worse before she wore them. Our repeating sunglasses threads here in OOT are great confirmation of how herd behavior can rope people in.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well one thing PUA's are not are sheep.

Male sheep of the dating variety go out and bribe females with drinks and dinner in the hopes of sleeping with them and they think this is a good thing. They accept it as normal practice.

When I was single and a woman had the nerve to ask me to buy her a drink my reply, delivered with confidence, was "I don't buy women drinks unless I am sleeping with them." YOu might think that turns them off but it does not. It piques their interest. "I only pay for women I am already sleeping with."

Most of the male's in this country shell out hundrends and thousands each year as bribes in the hopes of getting sex. You gotta change that way of thinking guys. lol

[/ QUOTE ]

PUAs, are by definition becoming sheep.

[Alamo]

Cardo, I have been thinking about the morality attached to the whole PUA stuff, and here is something I have been trying to word in the correct way, see what you think about it.

When I discovered the whole PUA stuff, I read something that really appealed to me: women are attracted to jerks, but no so much because they are jerks, but more because of the whole "zomg, I cannot control him, I MUST have him".

Now we can already discuss if this, probably poorly worded mechanism, actually takes place in a woman's brain, I have substantial proof it does, but for argument's sake, let's presume this is what happens.

Now, what I read was that from the whole package a jerk represents, it would be good that one could dissect what parts of the this package attracts women without doing them harm. Cherry picking so to speak.

So I started to learn and apply, and have been pretty successful with it. In the meantime, I learned something really important, something that helped me getting what I wanted out of these women (varying from one-night stand to marriage and everything in between), namely the following:

One of the things that I learned was to be clear what I wanted. Be a sexual being, state my intentions (at the right point of the whole interaction of course).

I added one thing that I had not read before I started doing this.

I simply stated that the woman in question did not have to expect anything from me. I merely was interested in a sexual encounter, no more, no less.

This would take away the whole "I am going to make you fall for me, think I am Mr. Right, have my way with you and never call you again" aspect. Something I was really happy to do, because fooling women to believe I am Mr. Right, meh, it is not my thing.

So this gave me the wanted starting point in the whole interaction, and if I grew a genuine interest in her as a person, I could most of the time proceed to some point more meaningful than just being friends with benefits.

Now here is the thing: When I started doing this, it became very clear that:

1. I could feel at ease with what I was doing. After all, I was being honest about my intentions. No tricks, no fooling, no nothing.

2. My success with women went seriously off the map. It was frigging ridiculous. I have seduced quite a few women in virtually the same way, mentioned above.

3. my experience with women has convinced me they love a guy that is able to have sex with them without him going weird, calling her every day, telling her he loves her, and so on.
Because women do love sex, but often are reluctant to take steps to make it happen, because for all they know they might have a potential stalker on their hands.

The only explanation I can give is that the whole "uncontrollable" factor is a huge motivator for many women when relating to a man. I bet that many of the women I have told I was not up for a relationship were triggered in some way, wanting to change these thought of mine or something similar.

My point is I found the double-edged sword, being honest as hell with the very surprising (at that time) effect that women went ga-ga over me. Especially the very pretty ones.

So, wouldn't it be interesting for you to try and do the same thing I did? I guess it would take away the most essential parts of your beef with the whole PUA thing, you stay true to your beliefs, and you are able to attract women.

Thoughts?

[Dudd]

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http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/


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This website looks horribly pretentious.