Dealing With Being Unattractive

[DrewDevil]

confidence/attitude >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>> looks

[entertainme]

If you're thirty, slim, work out, gainfully employed, I doubt you're nearly as far behind in attractiveness as you think you are.

I also agree with the idea above that women's priorities and shallowness regarding partner selection improve when they reach their later twenties.

I like your ideas to work on yourself. However, your limiting yourself severely in these two areas:

- being your own worse critic
- forgetting that connections are made every day in completely normal settings

Interesting lady at the coffee shop? Be willing to put yourself out there. You get rejected? So what. Move on.

I also strongly agree with posts above about opening your social network. Be friendly and interested in a lot of people. Cultivate women friends. At work. At the gym. Wherever.

As your social network grows, so will your confidence and your opportunities to connect with others.

[diebitter]

EnigmaCanada

These might help you

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...age=0&vc=1
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...part=1&vc=1

[esad]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are unattractive because you believe you are unattractive.

- Buy nice clothes
- Learn good personal hygiene
- Learn how to converse normally with people
- Start to believe you are attractive

[/ QUOTE ]

woa, that's kinda offensive. op never said he doesn't know how to wash his hair or iron a shirt.

[/ QUOTE ]

My point to always do the best with what you have. Little things like this can make a big difference. It will also give you confidence.

My scale of what women find attractive in a man. (Remember this is all relative. I guy that makes 50K in the poor section of town is very attractive to the women that live their, etc.)

Fame (Unless you are going to be famous this won't apply to you. You can have some local fame though..it's all relative remember.)
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Power/Money - Money is power, so they go hand in hand
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Confidence/Swagger - This isn't just personality. This the [censored]-of-the-walk confidence that Alpha Males have.
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Looks
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Personality - If you have everything above, most girls really don't care about your personality. BUT (and this is an important but) you have to have it to keep a girl. They'll grow tried of your BS if you don't have something real to offer.

So, if Fame and Money is out of reach then work on Confidence and Swagger.

[Cobretti]

[ QUOTE ]
You are unattractive because you believe you are unattractive.

[/ QUOTE ] 100% correct. If you create the frame that you are unattractive then women will pick up on that instantly even if you don't think you are showing it. They can just tell.

Also, you should hang out with the best looking friends you can find. It gives you social proof. I would suggest you go read "The Game" or "Mystery Method". You can get awesome girls if you put the effort into it. The stuff in there works like magic if you work hard at it.

This guy, Neil Strauss, was an incredible pick up artist. He is bald and short. Yet, he got more insanely hot women then you can imagine. Look at the before picture on the right and tell me that it was because he was good looking.

[revots33]

Eh, you are 30. The older you get the less looks matter. (Maybe not true if all you want is to bang 22 year olds.)

My advice... be nice. Be friendly. Be considerate. Be attentive. Listen to women when they talk. Ask them about themselves. Be funny, if you are able. Honestly when dealing with single/divorced women 30+ that's all it takes.

Your advantage with older women is that most men are [censored], and most older women have had to deal with enough loser guys, that looks are no longer the top priority for them.

[Blarg]

Yup. Also agree strongly on the listening, as long as you keep your independent mood and outlook. A lot of women want to just talk or whine/cry on someone's shoulder about their real or imagined travails, but that doesn't mean they want you to be totally suckered in by their every self-pitying sob story once they've gotten it all out, or join them in being blue or weepy. They love an open and attentive man, but you still have to be a man.

[daveT]

I can count on exactly one finger how many women I picked up in a bar. The world is an adventure. If you think about good qualities, considering adventurousness, spontenaety, individualism, finding a girl at the bar starts to look illogical. How would a person with the mentioned qualities be so creative/ unique if he is attempting to win on the beaten path?

The world is 50% women, and be rest-assured that most of them don't like going to bars, and most of the girls at a bar hate being hit on at the bars every 3 minutes. Obviously with this much competition, you have to be able to depend on more than any fairy-tale concept of looks and immediate lust. So, you must be able to approach women at areas that you are able to present your true self. At a bar, you will not be able to speak in your natural tone, you will not be acting natural, you will not be seen as much more than meat.

[Orlando Salazar]

Assuming you're a man who attends to his health, fitness, fashion, hygene; IT REALLY DOESN"T MATTER. I promise you aren't that ugly (provided you don't have a major facial disfiguration). WOMEN WEIGH IMAGE AND STATUS ON PAR WITH OR ABOVE LOOKS.
Check your PM's.
My advice is to make sure you are a self actualized person (pursuing and accomplishing things that you are good at AND make you happy). The rest is grooming and learning to communicate the interesting aspects of your personality.

Edit for Dave:
When women go out to bars and clubs, they want to be hit on. But not by chumps. Only by interesting FUNNY, charming, non-needy, self actualized men. Women wan't sex and crave attention.

[sonneti]

Just repeating what most others have said here. Girls don't focus on looks like men do, they find power & confidence big turn ons. You cannot pick and choose who you are attracted too, it's not a choice.

Download some David DeAngelo.. if you can't get it send me a pm and i'll post you a dvd with 5 or 6 of his lectures.