Problem with husband of friend - need advice please - Page 5

Spellmen · #41 09-06-2007, 04:02 PM

No offense, but forget your friend right now. Your main concern should be your safety. File a police report so this is all on record if anything transpires in the future. A second threat will be taken much more seriously than if you are filing it for the first time

gumpzilla · #42 09-06-2007, 04:07 PM

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She defended her husband

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What did she say? What is the story he told her?

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I would imagine that he probably spun it around so that OP came on to him, he rebuffed her, and then he'll claim that OP threatened to tell the wife that he tried to rape her.

Taso · #43 09-06-2007, 04:15 PM

I'll be honest, I'm a little dissapointed you didn't go with the tape-record method. That would have been some good Matlock stuff right there.

cocked&locked · #44 09-06-2007, 04:25 PM

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I didn't want to file a report, I just am not able to deal with the stress at this time.

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This is stupid. Sorry it comes off as harsh, but I honestly can't think of another way to put it. I understand that it might generate some stress, but you're dealing with someone who at best made a really bad decision, and at worst, is a really bad guy. Either way, he is one more bad decision away from doing something else stupid. What if he has made other bad decisions in the past that have or haven't been reported? What if he makes more bad decisions in the future - against you, or someone else?

Granted, their relationship is probably already in the shitter, but this incident could escalate their problems and ultimately lead to a break up or more violence. We know it isn't your fault, but who do you think he will blame?

Telling a bunch of strangers on an internet forum isn't the same as notifying the authorities.

SixT4 · #45 09-06-2007, 04:28 PM

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File a police report against him.

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Yah, let the police know he has threatened you etc. and then tell the wife.

DMC0627 · #46 09-06-2007, 04:30 PM

The tape recorder is a great suggestion, I just didn't want to put anymore energy into this than I already have. I also think he would be much more likely to do something to me if I went that route. I actually just emailed a friend who doesn't know this couple the info on him, and what he said just in case.

What he told her was this. I called, he said Tammy is out of town tonight at her parents. I then said I had a bottle of wine (I hope she finds the receipt for it, that would be sweet) and said, I am bored, can I come over? He said sure, because he is so naive, and thought it was innocent.

Apparently, once I was there, I started coming onto him, telling him her being away was an opportunity, nobody would ever find out. This made me sick. She was saying it like it was completely true. He of course, did the whole, I would never cheat on my wife thing. I tried to kiss him, he pushed me away, I left (he added that I was crying, as if I was so desperate to have him I was crushed).

I never even considered that he could have put something in my drink. Scary world. If you can't trust your friends, huh?

SixT4 · #47 09-06-2007, 04:32 PM

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you could talk to the wife and simply say something like:

"I can hang out with you, but only as long as husband is not around"

When she asks why, you can tell her to ask her husband.

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And then he'll say "yah so she got really drunk and tried to come on to me and I rejected her. She's pretty embarressed about it."

Edit: two minutes late, ZOMGS I'M GOOT.

DMC0627 · #48 09-06-2007, 04:34 PM

If I do file a report, can it be kept confidential? Does anyone know what the repercussions would be? Would they have to go talk to him, or if I ask the police to just keep it on record in case will they do that?

Will it even be taken seriously if I do? After all, besides him being a major scumbag, all he did was grab my arm (and block the door which I can't prove). Saying I would be extremly sorry is obviously a threat to scare me, but he didn't say he would actually hurt me. He could just say that he meant I would regret losing the friendship with his wife, etc.

Cry Me A River · #49 09-06-2007, 04:35 PM

This is almost certainly not the first time he has done something like this. Men don't just wake up one day and become predators.

If you do not file a police report, he will do this again to someone else. Next time she may not be able to get away.

Mr. Philosophy · #50 09-06-2007, 04:38 PM

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If I do file a report, can it be kept confidential? Does anyone know what the repercussions would be? Would they have to go talk to him, or if I ask the police to just keep it on record in case will they do that?

Will it even be taken seriously if I do? After all, besides him being a major scumbag, all he did was grab my arm (and block the door which I can't prove). Saying I would be extremly sorry is obviously a threat to scare me, but he didn't say he would actually hurt me. He could just say that he meant I would regret losing the friendship with his wife, etc.

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With his behavior towards you I am curious if he has ever abused his wife? Might be a question you want to ask her because my guess is he has.