CockBlock Stories

[Spota]

Not mine personally, but just read this on WWTDD re Britney Spears:


Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.

Mike explained: "Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s

"Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top.

"She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses."

Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to "make out" with him.
He said: "She straddled me and put her legs around me.

"When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up.

"Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.

"Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect.

"She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser."

Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.

He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.

Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.

Mike added: "In the end we had to say our goodbyes."



'My romp with topless Britney'

[DrewDevil]

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Alright, I started this thread so I guess I need to provide a story that had an unhappy ending. (sorry for the length of story, but this is my 900th post, so I figure I will give some background)

I was in college, my first and only semester, I lived in a frat house and my roommate was one of the biggest studs on campus. (i.e. homecoming court on a campus of 20000+ students)

Frats have "little sisters" which are girls that hang out at the house sometimes and are friends with the guys. THEY ARE OFF LIMITS FOR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS.

Our hottest little sis was named Renee, very pretty face, huge knobs, great legs and ass... pretty much a perfect female specimen. Anyway, I went back to school one day early from Thanksgiving break, and she was a local student, so she came over to the house. Not many of my frat brothers were around, but she wanted to play "smear the kweer" out in the snow. She was dressed in a skin tight spandex get up that would give any college freshman instant wood. No one wanted to go out in the snow, so she asked me to take her back to her dorm.

We get it on, I almost suffocated beneath her knobs when she got on top and put em in my face. (what a glorious death it would have been)

The next day she comes over and hangs out in my room. We chat a bit, she leaves. My roomate (the lady killer) says to me " god she is hot, i wondor if those [censored] are as big as they look" ... I reply "yeah, they are" in a non chalant kind of way. He looks at me and says "you f'ed her didn't you?" I hem and haw, and finally come clean, not knowing if breaking the "little sister rule" was gonna get me any kind of punishment, but hell, cleaning toilets for a week would have been worth it.

(true) rumors get around the house that I nailed renee.

A few weeks later I end up in bed with another little sister, jeez, I really can't follow the rules, the only name I ever knew her by was "muffin"

fast forward a few weeks, we are having a smallish party and a group of us are playing the game "I never" (basic rules.. someone says "I never had sex in an elevator" anyone who has, drinks)

Anyway, I have renee sitting on my lap, stealing kisses here and there, getting primed for our next go around. My no pussy gettin, m f'in, prick of a frat brother says "I never buttered the Muffin" while he is looking right at me. Renee's face kinda goes blank, and she gets up off my lap as I shamefully take a swig of beer.

i wanted to smash my beer bottle over his head at that moment. Me and Renee never hit it again after that nite. Damn, this post is putting me on tilt, and this happened 18 years ago.

Hope the story was worth the read.

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I'm not an internet tough guy or anything, but I'm about 99% positive I would have crashed my beer bottle over this douchebag's head. At the very least, I would have waited until later and then kicked the living [censored] out of him.

[kmak]

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Freshman year of college. I with this chick I'm into, making out in her dormroom. We're on the bed, both of our shirts off, progressing fine.

All of the sudden the door opens and in barges drunk bitch roommate (girl is like 5'1" 170 lb, 2.5/10 oot scale). She had called earlier in the night to see if the room was free, but told us she would sleep elsewhere tonight after learning we where using the room. Fat bitch just stares at us, then finally blurts "seriously". She continues to repeat this several times during the next minute before finally explaining "I need this, I haven't had sex in four months, pleeease" We just lie on the bed stunned as fat bitch continues to spew her desperation.

The girl I'm with is pretty passive and drunk bitch isn't going anywhere so we get dressed and leave. [censored] blocked and sexiled in the same move. sick.

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FYI half points are not awarded below 5

[neuroman]

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My freshman year of college I chatted up some girl down the hall in my dorm friday evening. She told me she was going out with some friends that evening, but would call me when she was back. About 11 pm she calls me and tells me she's in her room, and her roommate went home for the weekend. I stroll on down there and get her on her bed within 10 minutes. We're making out and i'm just about to take her shirt off when all of the sudden they open the door:



They came in from who the hell knows where and let themselves in because the [censored] of a roommate that was gone for the weekend left them her roomkey!

So now we still had our clothes on and were spooning or whatever, but the fat troll and her emo [censored] sidekick refused to leave, because the fat troll was hungry and wanted something to eat, and that was our problem somehow. So I'm grabbing her terts (lol +i+s is blocked?) under her shirt to the point that it's obvious what's going on to the other two, but they refuse to leave, and she doesn't want to piss off her roommate by kicking these two out. So after a half hour stand off, I tell them I got a number of a pizza place in my room that'll deliver after midnight to our dorms, so me and the chick head off to my room. My virgin roommate (went to bed at 10PM on a friday night after drinking 2 bud lights) was a pretty deep sleeper, so we just start making out on my couch. I get her shirt off and start sucking on those titties, when all the sudden I hear my roommate say "get the hell out of here!" what a dick move. He could have gone to the lounge for a little bit, the prick. Well, we're still both horny so we go to my bathroom, complete with a hudge handicapped accessible shower (lots of rails ftw) and turn on the shower and i wrap up. I get about 3 or 4 pumps in when my roommate bangs on the door and says "her friends (the emo [censored] and the troll) are here, she's gotta leave!" I'm srsly tilting like a [censored] by now. My roommate [censored] on so many levels, why couldn't he at least tell them to GTFO, but instead, HE KEEPS ON BANGING ON THE GDDAMMMN DOOR! So the bitch gets off my [censored], dries off a little bit and puts her sweats and tshirt back on. I'm just speechless, and go to bed more pissed off than I've ever been before.

The morning after my roomie had the nerve to tell me what an [censored] I was. I told him his virgin ass should have left as soon as he knew what was up. I never ended up getting back with the chick again, and I'm pretty sure the troll told every other chick in my dorm how much of a creep I was. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

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This wins the thread and not just because of the awesome mspaint. You should have punched your roommate into next week. I can only assume that it was pity that stayed your hand.

[_brady_]

This last December during one of the big snowstorms here in CO me and my friends threw a little party for anyone who could make it through the snow. It ended up being only about 10 people and one of them was a hot, blonde younger sister of a girl who graduated a year after me at the same HS. Probably only about an hour into drinking the younger sister is grabbing my crotch, I'm grabbing her [censored], and it's fairly obvious this is going to be the easiest hook up for a while. Then...someone breaks the news to me that she's only 17...[censored]. I'm not about to go down like that so I manage to keep it from happening.

Fast forward to last weekend. A high school friend is having a 21st party at his house in my hometown. Me and my friends go and someone tells me the younger sister is gonna be there and she has since turned 18...perfect. She shows up shortly after us with her older sister. When she sees me she comes gives me a hug and we share a couple shots of whatever foul tasting peach rum she brought with her. Couple hours later it's on again and I get her up into a bedroom...start making out and feeling up when *knock* *knock* "Hey! Your sister is looking for you". [censored]...she tells me she'll brb and goes to find her sister. I ain't waiting around for no hos so I go downstairs and drink some more. About 45 minutes later we are upstairs again. Get a little farther into it...lifting up her shirt when...*knock* *knock*. A girl is telling me my ride is leaving ([censored])

Here's the thing...this is my only ride...and home is about 1 1/2 hours away. I'll be stranded at this house for a good day if I don't go and I got [censored] to do in the morning. I go outside and beg for another 30-45 minutes. And he doesn't budge. Meanwhile the girl who knocked on the door asks "Are you making good decisions?" WTF bitch this is the best decision I've made in a long time. Nobody will budge so I have to leave.

The next day I get on Facebook and get this message from the girl who knocked:

"Remember that time I [censored]-blocked you when you were hooking up with XXXXX's little sister ... that was great."

I go on MEGA-tilt.

[pokerbobo]

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My no pussy gettin, m f'in, prick of a frat brother says "I never buttered the Muffin" while he is looking right at me. Renee's face kinda goes blank, and she gets up off my lap as I shamefully take a swig of beer.

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Uhh, I think the only move is to not take a swig in this situation and kind of look around to see if anyone else drinks. It's not like you took a blood oath or swore on the Bible for 100% honesty for that stupid game.

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The jig was up because he has looking right at me the whole time... she was on her way out before the bottle even hit my lips. If I ever see that assbag again, I'm droppin him.

[Poofler]

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since when does "cockblock stories" = plow this chick and talk about it in OOT?

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Lol, seriously, this thread is 50%+ not so thinly veiled brags.

[ardubz]

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I ain't waiting around for no hos so I go downstairs and drink some more.

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I chuckled

[Bostaevski]

Junior year college - there is this girl that was obsessed with me but she wasn't that good looking and a total nut job. One night I'm drunk so decide "what the hell I'll just give her the glory one time". So I go in her bedroom and there's this other girl also sleeping in there so I say hey tonight's your night let's go back to my place.

I bring her to my apartment and we had this guest that came for a weekend and 2 months later the dude still hadn't left. He was sleeping on a futon in my room so I tell her just a minute and I go in there and say "hey dude go sleep on the couch". He takes a while to get his bearings and finally gets up and walks out of my room.

So I go out to get the girl but she is going into my roommate's room. She turns to me and says "I decided to sleep with Rob tonight".

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
This last December during one of the big snowstorms here in CO me and my friends threw a little party for anyone who could make it through the snow. It ended up being only about 10 people and one of them was a hot, blonde younger sister of a girl who graduated a year after me at the same HS. Probably only about an hour into drinking the younger sister is grabbing my crotch, I'm grabbing her [censored], and it's fairly obvious this is going to be the easiest hook up for a while. Then...someone breaks the news to me that she's only 17...[censored]. I'm not about to go down like that so I manage to keep it from happening.

Fast forward to last weekend. A high school friend is having a 21st party at his house in my hometown. Me and my friends go and someone tells me the younger sister is gonna be there and she has since turned 18...perfect. She shows up shortly after us with her older sister. When she sees me she comes gives me a hug and we share a couple shots of whatever foul tasting peach rum she brought with her. Couple hours later it's on again and I get her up into a bedroom...start making out and feeling up when *knock* *knock* "Hey! Your sister is looking for you". [censored]...she tells me she'll brb and goes to find her sister. I ain't waiting around for no hos so I go downstairs and drink some more. About 45 minutes later we are upstairs again. Get a little farther into it...lifting up her shirt when...*knock* *knock*. A girl is telling me my ride is leaving ([censored])

Here's the thing...this is my only ride...and home is about 1 1/2 hours away. I'll be stranded at this house for a good day if I don't go and I got [censored] to do in the morning. I go outside and beg for another 30-45 minutes. And he doesn't budge. Meanwhile the girl who knocked on the door asks "Are you making good decisions?" WTF bitch this is the best decision I've made in a long time. Nobody will budge so I have to leave.

The next day I get on Facebook and get this message from the girl who knocked:

"Remember that time I [censored]-blocked you when you were hooking up with XXXXX's little sister ... that was great."

I go on MEGA-tilt.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Remember that time I videotaped you sucking XXXX's dick? That was great."