Personal / dating / whatever life situation general advice thread

[Josem]

Ben,

I've just read your story. That's pretty full-on.

You may find it easier to chat to this girl from starbuck during work if you ask her out for a coffee. I think going to GLoria Jeans (you have that in the us? anyway, some major competitor for starbucks) would be funny.

[Go_Blue88]

does "taking a break" in a long term relationship actually work? anyone have experiences with it? also, any experiences with bringing it up to your significant other out of nowhere would be appreciated. k great

[ArturiusX]

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does "taking a break" in a long term relationship actually work? anyone have experiences with it? also, any experiences with bringing it up to your significant other out of nowhere would be appreciated. k great

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If you want to take a break, you want to take a permanent break, but you'd like to hedge your bets as well, just in case. Breaks don't work in a young relationship.

[Henry17]

Taking a break is code for I'm not happy but I'm not miserable either. I want to see what else is out there and if I don't find anything better then I'll come back.

[Go_Blue88]

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Taking a break is code for I'm not happy but I'm not miserable either. I want to see what else is out there and if I don't find anything better then I'll come back.

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ya i'd like to avoid using her as a safety net, but i also don't want to make a rash decision. i'd say i'm happy with the relationship, just not excited--i guess content...

[AbreuTime]

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Taking a break is code for I'm not happy but I'm not miserable either. I want to see what else is out there and if I don't find anything better then I'll come back.

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ya i'd like to avoid using her as a safety net, but i also don't want to make a rash decision. i'd say i'm happy with the relationship, just not excited--i guess content...

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Joking advice: You could always go on vacation with her. Things will either spice back up or a break will be easier to initiate.

[Henry17]

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ya i'd like to avoid using her as a safety net, but i also don't want to make a rash decision. i'd say i'm happy with the relationship, just not excited--i guess content...

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You let the relationship move too fast. Maybe someone else can tell you how to rewind it but I personally don't think that is possible.

Regardless of how wonderful everything is at first take it slow. I don't even believe in exclusivity until at least 3-6 months.

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I merely was asserting that a person that follows your advice will be more likely to be single at 40/50/60/70 due to the narrowed pool of prospective dates,

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I'm not sure if I agree the pool of prospective dates narrows. I don't believe in dating my own age. My current GF is 9 years younger. The previous one was 11 years younger. My neighbour is in his mid 40s (might even be late 40s) and his Gf is 24-28.

With respect to serious relationship I don't believe any amount of physical attractiveness can compensate for other qualities that might be missing. That being said no matter how wonderful someone is that can't compensate for a lower physical attractiveness. I believe you need both. If she is hot but nothing else then she is a casual GF. If she is wonderful but just not that hot then she is a new friend. If you settle then you'll always think if I had just waited a few more months / years I might have met the complete package.

[JanelleBB7]

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does "taking a break" in a long term relationship actually work? anyone have experiences with it? also, any experiences with bringing it up to your significant other out of nowhere would be appreciated. k great

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When I said this it = breaking up with you but don't want to have to deal with the long terrible session of WHY WHY...

[jackflashdrive]

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does "taking a break" in a long term relationship actually work? anyone have experiences with it? also, any experiences with bringing it up to your significant other out of nowhere would be appreciated. k great

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I think asking to 'take a break' can mean different things to different people, but regardless of what it means you are almost always better off just cutting loose and moving on. This is my experience, that you just can't put the genie back in the lamp.